Metty

Why is the cat doing a LSD tab?

"Ough my tummy hurts" I say drinking my red flavor caffeinated vitamin supplement marketed at gamers on an empty stomach

Pondering my Corb

"please explain your last disciplinary note: [Employee] stop sucking face with your boywife" Bud I think it explains itself we got work to do she gotta keep her young out his throat while on clock

Kids always talkin about jobs their friends totally just really got like

"I don't know 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴!"⁣ K you're hired it's 15$ an hour here's your yellow vest⁣ "𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫!" You figured it out congratulations 🎉🎉🎉

"This is my dialogue focused, character-heavy campaign." "Even the best leaders in the city are an Oligarchical old man and his kids." "We're starting this campaign in prison." Several months later: "We've hit the violent political extremist plot, time for the multi part Chuck E Cheese dungeon."

I think @b0tster.yeag.gay elbowed me in the kidney in the act 1 moshpit

Customers are a tragic species, born without a brain in their skulls, doomed to float aimlessly wherever the wind current takes them

Scrimpus: For anal seepage

Alright, Alright, Alright~ It's been 100 years since I've actively streamed, but I want to stream my autistic trucking simulator before the internet spoils the whole entire game for me twitch.tv/mettaurbuster

Next person who puts their hands on me without my consent gets fed their fucking teeth it doesn't matter what corporate says I'll teach a 80 year old pervert to respect bodily autonomy

I'm about to quit my job to beat an old man to death in the parking lot I can't fucking take this anymore being groped apparently doesn't count if you've got a Y chromosome my fucking mental health doesn't matter why aren't I working I'm gonna fucking explode

i’m gonna just watch this at least once a day and i recommend everyone do the same

See? It’s unbreakable.