The Midnight Society

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they're back!!

Eve Harms, Orph Understander@eveharms.com

The horse girls are back, streaming this Wednesday! We cannot be stopped

Ursula Vernon: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of your blorbo King: MY blorbo?! Vernon: yes Vernon: YOUR blorbo King: from my stories?!? Vernon: yes Vernon: from your stories

Mary Shelley: sup fuckers? King: mary! ursula ruined blorbo! Shelley: what Poe: you know, blorbo! Lovecraft: our blorbo! Shelley: Shelley: what

King: today we visit a blorbo ruining farm for ruining blorbos Vernon: i'm telling you, we just grow sorghum here King: uh huh King: and where's the blorbo ruining happening? Vernon: round back Vernon: Vernon: oops

[5 hours later] King: and that's why everything about your take on blorbo is wrong Vernon: Vernon: ok yeah Vernon: you know i didn't want to tell this blorbo story anyway King: oh my god! King: she admits it! King: she never respected blorbo! Poe: wow, ursula Poe: looks like you did a no growth

Vernon: you know what, i'm just gonna go back to the farm Vernon: after all, it is harvest season Vernon: and harvest season is the busiest season for the farmer King: you can't do that! Poe: what about blorbo? Lovecraft: we need blorbo or we'll die!

Vernon: so we all know that blorbo is a morally conflicted badass with a checkered past Vernon: but what my adaptation supposes Vernon: is Vernon: what if he was a morally conflicted badass with a checkered past King: oh i don't like that at all Poe: that's not my blorno Koontz: [cries]

Vernon: it's just like your blorbo King: it's not my blorbo! King: i don't even recognize that blorbo! King: i'm going to make a 5 hour explainer video about how that's not my blorbo King: joe, how do you work this camera Joe Hill: you push the button, dad

King: i love blorbo from my stories!! Poe: he's the best Barker: blorbo fuckin rules Lovecraft: i gotta have my blorbo Koontz: [chanting] blorbo! blorbo! blorbo!

Vernon: ok so as you know, blorbo is a beloved character from the video game Glubbobo's Edifice: The Dark Legacy Chronicles Vernon: where he's known as a morally conflicted badass with a checkered past King: that's what we love about blorbo! Poe: yeah, there's never been a character like him ever!

The Midnight Society reposted

Evan Dorkin

@evandorkin.bsky.social

Bad Art response to bad art

Edgar Allan Poe: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the pit and the pendulum Poe: it's about this guy who gets caught by the spanish inquisition King: oh, i didn't expect that! King: eh? eh? get it? Joe Hill: no, dad

Flanagan: every poe story at once? Flanagan: why this sounds perfect for one of my patented Mike Flanagan shenanigans (tm) Poe: flanagan shenaniwhat? Flanagan: oh it's just a thing i say now Flanagan: i'm trying to start a trend

King: wow! a mike flanagan appearance! King: i certainly didn't expect that! King: just like i didn't expect- Joe Hill: give it a rest, dad

Corman: ok so at da end we have dis big ol' moida monkey come in and kill everyone Corman: classic twist ending! Poe: roger, it just sounds like you're throwing all of my stories together in a blender Corman: eeey you're quick, kid

Poe: but roger, you can't jus throw together every story! Poe: how can that maintain the heightened gothic atmosphere for which i'm known? Corman: dat's hollywood, baby! Poe: you can't just do EVERY poe story at once! Mike Flanagan: excuse me, did someone say EVERY Poe story at once?

Corman: ok so picture dis Corman: we open on da house of usher Corman: where they're doin' a premature burial of ligeia with a black cat Corman: meanwhile dere's a raven over da door Corman: an den dey drop a gold bug Corman: while dey learn da system of dr tar an prof feather

Corman: den dere's da big climax Poe: the big climax? Corman: oooh you're gonna love dis one edgar baby Corman: it's real hollywood, real now, da kids are gonna love it! Poe: what happens? Corman: foist baby, here, have anudder cigar

Roger Corman: 'eeeey it's me Roger Corman, star of da bluesky account Corman: Edgar baby, I love dis pit an da pendulum idea Corman: we'llmake a movie an make a million bucks! Corman: here, have a cigar

Corman: course, we gotta whang it up a bit Corman: you know how dat is, edgar baby Corman: gotta throw in bits from all da stories Poe: but Roger Corman: dats showbiz, baby! Corman: people want poe by the pallet!

Poe: anyway, he faints Poe: and he wakes up in a room where there's a pit and apendulum King: oo the titular line! nice! Poe: thank you Poe: anyway that makes him faint again Poe: there's a lot of fainting in this story

Poe: but then just when it looks like he's done for, some guys run in and tell him "good news! the spanish inquisition is cancelled!" King: wow, that was a lucky break!

King: see, it's because nobody expects the spanish inquisition! King: their chief weapon is surprise and a fanatical devotion to the pope Joe Hill: dad, what are you talking about King: ok ok maybe that's a little sophisticated for you King: how about this one King: we are the knights who say NEEP

Poe: so this guy gets caught by the spanish inquisition for a crime he didn't commit Poe: or maybe he did Poe: i'll never say Franz Kafka: big mood

Jonathan Edward Durham: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of winterset hollow Durham: it's about these chaps who get lured to an island by a gang of anthropomorphic animals Frank Belknap Long: ahem Long: they're called furries Long: get it right!

Long: just because these furries want to eat them doesn't mean they're bad Long: really rushing to judgement here! Long: we don't even know if it's going to be hard or soft vore yet

Durham: but first! Durham: there's going to be a feast Brian Jacques: [squeaking] a feast?!?!?!?

Durham: "welcome to our island, old beans" says waddlesworth wolf, his maw dripping with hunger-adjacent saliva and a sense of moral turpitude dangling from between his knitted forehead

Durham: "we're so glad you could stay for dinner" says waddlesworth wolf, with a ravenous glint in his eye King: ok these animals are clearly evil Poe: yeah i have never been so sure of anything Long: wow Long: fursecution much?

Poe: do you mean he's from a desert? King: i think it means a forest Poe: yes but Poe: a forest is kind of the opposite of a forest King: well, not necessarily, edgar Poe: YES necessarily, steve Poe: this is settled information! Barker: ha ha Poe: don't you start!

Durham: now upon this isle, they meet such jolly fellows as Ruthington Raccoon, Maddoumeadely Mouse, Winston Waddlesworth Wolf, and Sir Beartholemew J. Hemmingwedge-on-the-Fritz

Durham: our lads are going to run into some right jiggery jam troubles on winterset isle Durham: but first, our heroes are going to eat some french fries for 2 pages Durham: or as we call them here in america Durham: chips

Durham: now our hero, eamon Durham: or as we'd say in america, our top lad Durham: he was raised in the idaho desert of trees Poe: a desert of what? Durham: a desert of trees Poe: Poe: so Poe: a desert? Durham: of trees, yes

Poe: i mean, you're british, right? Durham: come now, old sport Durham: i'm as american as steak and kidney pie! Poe: Edward Gorey: seems legit, old chap Durham: Rah-tha, old man!

Durham: these fellows are ripping big fans of winterset hollow, a delightful tale of rabbits in waistcoats Durham: but what they don't know is that these rabbits are hunting the most dangerous game of all Barker: is it man Durham: righto, old man!

Durham: ello now so these chaps from boise, idaho are smashing big fans of winterset hollow, a quite jiggery jam of a tale! Durham: cheerio, they say, we shall avail ourselves of the next lorry to winterset isle Poe: oh i didn't know you were british Durham: i say old bean whatever do you mean?

JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: ssome of you may remember my famousss manifesssto where i declared mysself againsst transs exisstance Rowling: i've written a ssequel Rowling: it'ss exactly like my firsst manifessto but longer

King: ha ha surely you won't really consider it a terrorist act Rowling: don't tesst usss ssteve Rowling: we're the UK, you've ssseen how we treat grandmasss who don't comply King: wow! King: that's awful! King: i'm glad i live in a normal country

Rowling: you will all watch the new harry potter ssseriesss or ssuffer the conssequencessss Rowling: c'mon Rowling: c'mon please Rowling: these cattle carss aren't gonna pay for themsselvesss

Rowling: anyway the ansswer is yess Rowling: yess i sstill hate them Rowling: i jusst wanted to be clear in casse my bankrolling the ongoing extermination effort left any doubt

Rowling: anyway i hope you'll all watch the new harry potter sseriess when it comess out Rowling: for your own sssake Rowling: it iss government mandated viewing for all UK citizensss Rowling: failure to watch will be conssidered a terrorisst act and dealt with accordingly