Mobi

It’s crazy all my life I thought I had to listen to judges & do what they told me only to find out now that judges orders are completely optional & discretionary. Who knew

I hope members of congress who have knowingly sat on their hands & let this lunatic run rampant are also brought up on charges of treason, or conspiracy & jailed.

It’s so damn cold in my garage rn my blunt won’t stay lit

Executing ICU nurses protecting women & shooting them in the back is a new low even for this group of clowns.

I’m one week into not smoking weed when I 1st wake up in the morning before I go to work & what I’ve noticed is I don’t smoke weed before I go to work. Groundbreaking

BREAKING: Every time I see ‘BREAKING’ I get massive amounts of anxiety. Call it BTSD

Give me a Celsius & I can do anything

Please don’t call me. I’m long winded & socially awkward at getting of the phone. We’ll be here for hours

Told my boss I’m not coming in tomorrow. Then quoted the mayor saying to use common sense & adding that I’m not an essential worker. Now let’s wait & see what happens

Looks like I’m doing Cry January instead of Dry January

Me & my brother enjoying a little wake & bake this morning. Happy 41st birthday big little brother.

Colder than a polar bears balls & still 2 days away from the freeze 🥶 Hold the door Houston

Well here we are. Less the 12 hours after the TikTok ban. This feels so dystopian in the worst possible way.

Will NOT spend $8 on the toll to get to work faster. WILL spend $10 to rent out someone’s backyard for an hr & let my dogs run.

Now that that 2024 shit is over 2025 you better fucking act right

After crying about a silver lining this am the universe decided to show me one.

I feel like I’ve had more hits than Beyonce this year.

I’m totally grateful for the blessings that I do have in my life. But having those blessings doesn’t take away the pain. It gives you a silver lining but the shit still hurts.

I swear I’m not normally all doom & gloom but this year feels like it’s been particularly rough. Not my hardest year by a long shot but definitely not for the weak

Everytime I have to come back to my house since that incident with the neighbor my anxiety shoots through the roof. I only have a couple more times coming over here before I have all my stuff out. I’ll be glad when it’s done.

I wish I could turn time back just a little bit.

Randomly stumbled across a replay of S5E3 Game of Thrones. Now in the middle of binging this dam show for the 6th time.

It’s so hard to get out of the car on cold days. Got my seat warmer feeling all good & shit.

My son & daughter-in-law hosted their 1st Thanksgiving today. I’m so proud of him & his little family. Of course I had to cook for him. It’s the 1st time I’ve cooked Thanksgiving dinner since my brother died in 2011. My other brother passed in June. It’s taking everything in me to hold it together.

Went to the Wicked premier tonight in my city & I probably had the best audience ever. There were no small children & everyone let Ariana & Cynthia sing the songs. I really appreciated everyone in our theater tonight. Best Wicked experience ever. #Wicked

How can I have a niche when I, myself, am all over the place?

me: i make a mean burrito my burrito: fuck you

My goal for 2025 is to travel more. Anytime there’s a sale on flights I have to buy a trip to somewhere.

Is the YSL trial over here yet? #ysltrial

I’m officially a Nielsen household. I will be influencing what you watch on tv. Spoiler: It’s Christmas movies, murder shows & Disney.

When I was adopting my dog, she was with a foster. He called me to arrange for me to come to his house & meet the dog. I was thoroughly excited & after he gave me the information he says, “I’m a cop if that makes you feel safer coming to my house” That’s when I realized I’m a serial killers dream.

This is what I’d like to do with my day off but my circles won’t let me. Next week when I turn my phone off for 3 days this is how I’ll be.

They said it was a super moon tonight. Didn’t realize they were talking about Mike Tyson bare ass.

Watching the clock hit 9:30 & Tyson still not fighting

Did they forget Tyson’s demographic has a bedtime and it was an hr & a half ago?

Not so deep inside I really wish we could go back to the Michael Jackson experience on the Wii era.

My favorite feature so far are the starter packs. I thought it was going to be the 300 character count. Nope it’s the helpful follow lists so I can find the best shit posters 💙

2025 we’re taking short trips, long trips, day trips, 24hr trips, food trips, anything that consists of traveling and new experiences. WE’RE DOING IT

These toilets shoot water up ya ass after you 💩 . I been on the toilet 40 minutes

The problem with the whole ‘listen to your body’ thing is my body is always telling me it’s a great time to snuggle under some covers & get comfy

"don't hate the player, hate the game" can't it be both? fuck monopoly and fuck you for making me play it