Grizzly Naddums

this is a sad day apnews.com/article/biow...

As part of my ongoing campaign of mocking the trend of Gen-Xers engaging in social media autofellatio, enjoy.

Do as the founders intended and play The Onion Voting Simulator 3D! onionvs.b-cdn.net/s/detonated_...

Behold the New England meatballhound

Gonna be funny watching all these chuds who built shrines to trump for their front lawns try and fail to backpedal when he goes to jail for treason.

If you can't stop reminiscing about "back when people weren't so easily offended" that really says something about your capacity for personal growth.

Fun fact: That people are allowed to reject your beliefs in their own personal lives does not constitute an attack on your religious freedom.

Yes I am a juvenile idiot.

Context is a good thing. If you need me for something, or want to bring something to my attention, don't just show me a picture or a string of text with no context. Please explain what and why.

I wonder if they'd still be adamant about Voter ID if undocumented immigrants tended to vote republican. JK they'd probably be clamoring to crank the borders open.

This fascist nightmare world we live in is more of an indictment of the 77.3 million Americans that voted for him than the republican party in general. 77.3 million Americans looked at a demented pedophile and said "Yes, that one." Don't forget who they are. Never forgive them.

Every time a maga cultist strawmans you and says all democrats/liberals/socialists/whatever want drag queen librarians with litter boxes in the corner or whatever insanity they come up with, remind them of Kristi Noem and Kash Patel and say "Republicans only want to kill or fuck dogs."

Just realized I don't remember the last time I spent more than $100 or a whole day on just myself.

Fellow adults who haven't seen a math class in decades, start re-learning math in case AI leads to a huge global backlash against technology. Being able to do advanced math with pen and paper might be an invaluable skill soon.

@developers.google.com Change it back to Lake Ontario and the Gulf of Mexico. Now.

There should be plugins that automatically hide social media posts where comments have been disabled. If you're posting without allowing discussion, it's not discussion it's preaching.

So when we take control from MAGA we need to go hard into banning religion from schools permanently. Clearly worded constitutional amendment teaching religion in public schools. Maybe ban religious private schools too.

Stop worshipping celebrities. The only thing special about them is that they met the right people at the right time.

October 12 is when it will begin. Billions of people, not screaming, not panicking, not rioting, but lamenting an end they could have prevented. We will lie naked, starving and freezing in the streets, staring up in sorrow at the void. Our present will become someone else's sad, bleak history.

Do all the loudmouth anti-immigrant maga hate drones think they enjoy some level of anonymity? Because they don't. The shit they said online will live forever, and we won't forget. We won't forget the signs they put on their lawns, the stickers on their cars, the stupid red nazi hats they wore.

Nazis are not people.

So if you come to me with a technical problem, wanting me to fix it, the onus is upon you to make yourself understood, not on me to bend my brain to try and decipher your insane ramblings. I don't care if you're "not a tech person" take the time to articulate before you call me.

If I could drive one message into the minds of maga voters, it'd be "teach your kids not to be repugnant like you. You're a lost cause, but perhaps your children won't have to live with the shame you've imposed upon yourself."

I'm just gonna leave this here youtu.be/KMSJSTpT0Ws?...

I can see where the red-hats are coming from. A black Helen of Troy? I mean, come on. Look how far Greece is from Africa! /s

We should make pverly woke movies just to bug them. Like remake the ten commandments and cast a trans woman as moses, guillermo from jimmy kimmel live as the voice of god, and Ramses should be played by a paraplegic in a wheelchair and no effort should be made to hide the chair.

We should convince the maga cult that huffing rattlesnake farts cures ED cheaper than cialis

For now, thanks to Republicans, president shart represents all of us Americans. So make sure that every trump voter you know understands, that for the rest of their lives, he will represent them.

It's fun walking into yet another smoke screen created by Canadian wildfires and hearing fascist jackwads claim climate change is a myth and that the wildfires are just the forests separating the alpha trees from the beta cuck trees or whatever their insane rationale is.

Next time you see one of those alpha bro douchenuggets wearing a "There are two wolves inside me." shirts, remind them that bestiality is illegal and that it's gross that they're bragging about having wild animals bone them.

I want to start a youtube channel where I start every video whining and bitching about the hate I will inevitably receive and then just discuss something innocuous that everyone can agree upon.

I Can't wait for the next time someone says something that I vaguely agree with so I can jump in and say "You mean..." and impose my own even more progressive thought in the comments.

Kinda funny how rabid non-breeders split their time between mocking parents when they complain about how hard it can be and whining about how people 'won't shut up about their kids' I'm sorry that literally the most important thing I have ever done comes up a lot.

Hey just a reminder, religion exists to foster ignorance about the world around you. Why? Because informed, educated people are historically much more difficult to control. Toodles!

Just a reminder that trump is a pedophile and raped children at Epstein Island.

Stop worshiping celebrities. They're no better than you, they just get paid a lot more to do less work.

Hey has MAGA started retconning all their weird Jesus paintings to look like an overweight elderly pedophile with shitty fake hair yet?

If covid had only affected billionaires, the disgusting thing isn't that there'd be a vaccine and a cure developed within weeks of the first deaths, the disgusting thing is that the MAGA cult would have bent over backwards to safeguard their billionaire mommies and daddies.

I think everyone who gets offended when you discuss global climate change as a scientific fact should all be forced to walk across a floor covered in legos without shoes or socks.

I'm mad at Pneumonia right now. I mean.... he was right there.

He’s a paranoid drunk, per the reporting. He should go back to podcasting like Bongino did.

Outrage addiction is exhausting to watch happen.

I want to film a satirical anti-marijuana slasher horror flick featuring a serial killer that habitually gets high before murdering people. It'll be called "Weed killer."

Ambition is like opiate painkillers. A little is ok, but almost everyone that indulges frivolously turns into a monster controlled by their addiction.

I love my kids. I love my kids. I do not want to send them to military school for constantly making every house chore twenty times more complicated than it needs to be. I love my kids. I love my kids. I don't want to sell them for medical experimentation...

If you don't immediately hear MC Hammer in your head when you see this you're dead to me.

I think we've tolerated enough right-wing anti-woke thin-skinned flailing. I propose we start remaking every single John Wayne movie, starring Tig Notaro instead of the duke, who's in?