NASCARCASM

#NASCAR

#NASCAR

So Kyle Larson won an eventful race at Talladega and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> substack.com/@nascarcasm/...

The Philadelphia Eagles medical staff have told the 22 team that the car is fine and can continue the race

👻 the absolutely true tale of a disembodied voice that convinced a future NASCAR Hall of Famer to park mid-race and leave the track. Yes,Talladega is absolutely haunted. read here -> nascar.substack.com/p/the-disemb...

"Shit" being worth $5 is pretty sad when you realize it used to be worth $10,000. Anyone who knows anything about economics has been following the Shit Indicator for years and how far it has fallen.

Ever wonder why the voice that Bobby Isaac heard at Talladega in 1973 that warned him he should get out of the car or else hasn't bothered to help anyone else there. Like some drunk in the infield suddenly hears "Bro that's a cop car, stop peeing on that."

Ryan Blaney before and after a pit stop

Honestly, the best part about Justin Allgaier's upcoming candy corn paint scheme is that Justin himself is a big fan of candy corn. #NASCAR

Dreams do come true

Chase Briscoe won the race at Charlotte Motor Speedway and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

I'm hoping this is their first date

Chipping away at Larson's points lead like this gotta feel like fixing yourself a bowl of peas and eating each one individually

Brexton Busch doing a burnout in his father's Cup Series car. Incredible.

The Corey Lajoie #KickballKlassic rules. Great time, great fun, great cause. Runners up. I want to apologize to my team for injuring my hamstring and having to sit out the championship game. Please keep the back of my thigh in your thoughts tonight. #HamStrong

What's the character limit on BlueSky - need to know how many ways the Charlotte airport sucks and is the tenth level of Dante's Hell that I can list

GUESS WHO'S BACK BACK AGAIN SHADY'S BACK TELL A FRIEND

You could easily create an entire Immaculate Grid where every answer is Regan Smith

Chase Briscoe won the race at Las Vegas and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

When all you want to do is unleash a series of F-bombs but you're being interviewed by the one guy who will faint if you do so

It turns out that Clark Kent was Superman all along

Cole Custer doesn't receive enough credit for how well he's grown into his hat

Bleachers are so fun

When one of your employees catches you using the office printer to make copies of your résumé

In the post Preece-fine era the drivers have adopted a shared "I don't know what happened" code. The mafia would be proud of this. NASCAR Omerta.

So Kyle Larson won the race at Kansas Speedway and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

#NASCAR

Welcome 2026 inductee Ty Gibbs #NASCAR

2025: Larson 2026: Carson Colors inverted

With this win Joey Logano is now NASCAR's all-time leader in celebrating a win while two guys are beating the shit out of each other

So Joey Logano won the race at Bristol Motor Speedway and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

TEXTBOOK "JERRY SPRINGER" SECOND EFFORT #NASCAR

BRAD PITT LEFT BEFORE FIGHT CLUB STARTED

#NASCAR

If you need a refresher on the most memorable fights, arguments and times when things were thrown at a driver at Bristol, we got you covered. CLICK HERE -> nascar.substack.com/p/where-cage...

At this year's pre-season innovation meeting I threw "Like a T-shirt gun but for scorching hot brake fragments" out there and it's just cool to see one of your ideas go from concept to finished product.

Presented without comment

A Denver Bronco trying to tackle someone tonight

So Kyle Larson won at WWT Raceway and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

Until you've heard hundreds of NASCAR fans yell "TIL' THE SWEAT DRIP DOWN MY BALLS" in harmonious unison have you actually lived life

If you're a NASCAR driver in search of a name for your fantasy football team, we've got all sorts of suggestions. Click here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fantasy-fo...

#NASCAR

So Christopher Bell won at Darlington and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

The Lady In Black showing up to work on a 99-degree day

Boy it's hot #NASCAR

"Napoleon, don't be jealous because I've been chatting online with babes all day."

So Ryan Preece won the Coke Zero Sugar 400 at Daytona and received several (very fake) texts afterwards. Read them all here -> nascar.substack.com/p/fake-texts...

Ryan Preece got airborne again at Daytona