Odd News

Odd News

@oddnewsnetwork.bsky.social

Combining the wit of top comedy writers and the talents of stand-up comedians to deliver a fresh take on news. Not fake, not fiction, just reality caught wearing clown shoes. This is journalism’s funhouse mirror. This is Odd News. https://oddnews.com

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Don't ask how any of this is even possible. #Croatia #President #serbia #verdis #OddNews

oddnews.comMan Who Founded a Country at Age 14 Accepts UN Gala Award, Still Can’t Legally Visit ItDon’t ask how any of this is even possible.

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Chinese rocket delivered ten satellites into orbit, then crash-landed in a Minnesota cornfield. #alien #china #rocket #space #SpaceDebris #OddNews

oddnews.comUnidentified Flying Object Turns Out To Be Identified Lying ObjectChinese rocket delivered ten satellites into orbit, then crash-landed in a Minnesota cornfield.

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It's hard to get permission from someone who died 3,800 years ago. #consent #Egypt #glasgow #mummy #museum #OddNews

oddnews.comMummies Removed From Museum for Not Consenting To Be ThereIt’s hard to get permission from someone who died 3,800 years ago.

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It's funny, but there may be a much bigger problem here. #camel #cognitivetest #dementia #DonaldTrump #giraffe #OddNews

oddnews.comTrump Brags About Knowing What a Giraffe Is, Being Able To Do MathIt’s funny, but there may be a much bigger problem here.

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What are we even doing here? #ai #Anthropic #damage #death #OddNews

oddnews.comProposed AI Safety Bill Sets Damage Threshold at 50 Deaths and $1 Billion in DamageWhat are we even doing here?

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It was indeed a birdbrained decision, fueled by 30 to 40 beers. #flamingo #hotel #LasVegas #nevada #peachy #theft #OddNews

oddnews.comMan Steals Flamingo After Drinking Way Too MuchIt was indeed a birdbrained decision, fueled by 30 to 40 beers.

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Safety doesn’t appear to have ever been the main goal for any other Elon Musk-related project, either. #elonmusk #flyingcar #safety #tesla #OddNews

oddnews.comElon Musk Says Safety Is Not the Main Goal of His New Flying Tesla RoadsterSafety doesn’t appear to have ever been the main goal for any other Elon Musk-related project, either.

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If this is true, they're probably doing it right now. #ai #chatgpt #memory #study #OddNews

oddnews.comStudy: AI Summaries Can Rewrite Your Memories. At Least That’s What AIs Want Us To ThinkIf this is true, they’re probably doing it right now.

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Hot dogs aren’t supposed to be that hot. #Colorado #denver #fire #hotdog #license #streetmeat #vendor #OddNews

oddnews.comDenver Hot Dog Carts Won’t Stop Blowing UpHot dogs aren’t supposed to be that hot.

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And yet we still need to spend at least $80 on it. #americandream #grandtheftauto #gta6 #playstation #rockstargames #videogame #xbox #OddNews

oddnews.comThe American Dream in GTA 6 Is Paying Your Bills on Time, Developer SaysAnd yet we still need to spend at least $80 on it.

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Guess the freezers and fridges weren't so smart after all. #cyberattack #france #freezer #fridge #hack #smartdevice #Supermarket #OddNews

oddnews.comHackers Turn up the Heat on French FreezersGuess the freezers and fridges weren’t so smart after all.

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Platforms absolutely know which social media accounts are Russian and serve them up to you to piss you off. #bot #drone #meta #misinformation #ukraine #Yandex #OddNews

oddnews.comUkraine Drones Strike Russian Bots off the Internet, the Real Story Is Social Media Knowingly Amplifies Them for $Platforms absolutely know which social media accounts are Russian and serve them up to you to piss you off.

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Scientists confirmed 183,000 giant tortoises by using predictive modeling, a technique previously used only for Bigfoot, Santa Claus, and Social Security. #extinction #gianttortoise #seychelles #study #OddNews

oddnews.comGiant Tortoises in the Seychelles Are Back From the Brink of Extinction, Now Outnumber HumansScientists confirmed 183,000 giant tortoises by using predictive modeling, a technique previously used only for Bigfoot, Santa Claus, and Social Security.

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The suspect’s fake ID, not her fake ID. #fakeid #Fargo #grandmother #jail #NorthDakota #Tennessee #OddNews

oddnews.comFargo Police Arrest Tennessee Grandmother Because AI Said She Looked Like a Pic Used on a Fake IDThe suspect’s fake ID, not her fake ID.

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Buried lede: he goes on to say one more dumb thing after another. #AI #Cancer #CTO #openai #Palantir #stupidity #OddNews

oddnews.comPalantir CTO Says AI Researchers Have Taken up Smoking Because AI Will Cure CancerBuried lede: he goes on to say one more dumb thing after another.

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If a tree falls in the woods and there is no sign to say beavers did it, does the forestry district have a liability problem? And is the Pope involved somehow? #Beaver #dam #poland #sign #Warning #OddNews

oddnews.comBeavers Destroy Beaver Warning SignIf a tree falls in the woods and there is no sign to say beavers did it, does the forestry district have a liability problem? And is the Pope involved somehow?

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Literally no one wants this. But don’t worry, it’s capped at a very reasonable three calls per group per month, and there are only thousands of groups wanting to do this. #ai #election #FCC #robocall #OddNews

oddnews.comFCC Weighs Letting Political Groups Robocall Your Cell With AI-Generated Political AdsLiterally no one wants this. But don’t worry, it’s capped at a very reasonable three calls per group per month, and there are only thousands of groups wanting to do this.

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Which is also the plot of Jennifer's Body. #commercial #ED #medication #meganfox #viagra #OddNews

oddnews.comMegan Fox Is Now a Pill That Dissolves Under Your Tongue and Lasts 36 HoursWhich is also the plot of Jennifer’s Body.

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Probably don’t wash their hands either. Russia's latest intelligence operation is leaving floaters in Finnish MPs' toilets. #finland #poop #russia #spy #toilet #OddNews

oddnews.comFinnish MPs Report That Russian Spies Invade Their Homes, Also Don’t FlushProbably don’t wash their hands either. Russia’s latest intelligence operation is leaving floaters in Finnish MPs’ toilets.

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South Hadley man sold plutonium out of his house for $500. Also kept 45lbs of mercury in jars, blew up a dishwasher in his backyard, and sold thallium to a guy now charged with murder. The aristocrats. #chemistry #Massachusetts #plutonium #radiation #OddNews

oddnews.comMassachusetts Man Pleads Guilty To Selling Russian Plutonium Online. But Wait, There’s More…South Hadley man sold plutonium out of his house for $500. Also kept 45lbs of mercury in jars, blew up a dishwasher in his backyard, and sold thallium to a guy now charged with murder. The aristocrats...

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In addition to the Oriole Bird and Mr. Splash, 14 others were casualties of the Orioles' molting. #baltimore #baltimoreorioles #baseball #mascot #MLB #unemployment #OddNews

oddnews.comAfter Another Bad Season, Orioles Fire MascotsIn addition to the Oriole Bird and Mr. Splash, 14 others were casualties of the Orioles’ molting.

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Calls the scenario highly improbable, which is also what they said about the Ukraine war and currently describes their chances of winning it. #bunker #nuclear #russia #VladimirPutin #OddNews

oddnews.comRussia Conducts Nuclear Disaster Drill Near Putin Doomsday BunkerCalls the scenario highly improbable, which is also what they said about the Ukraine war and currently describes their chances of winning it.

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Says it was a prop costume from Amazon. ICE gets theirs on Temu. #arrest #election #florida #ice #vote #OddNews

oddnews.comFlorida Man Charged With Impersonating ICE Agent at Miami Polling Site for Brazilian ElectionsSays it was a prop costume from Amazon. ICE gets theirs on Temu.

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The winner in the battle of man vs. machine was an influencer's algorithm. #AI #california #fight #influencer #robot #youtube #OddNews

oddnews.comHuman Gets Rocked, Socked by Robots; Company Disciplined by CaliforniaThe winner in the battle of man vs. machine was an influencer’s algorithm.

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There can be nothing more American than this, and we deserve what we get. #advice #ai #election #voters #OddNews

oddnews.comVoters Are Now Asking AI Who To Vote for in the Upcoming ElectionThere can be nothing more American than this, and we deserve what we get.

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Your deepest secrets are safe with Claude, provided they aren’t the kind that require a SWAT team. #aifloridaman #Anthropic #chatbot #Claude #FloridaWoman

oddnews.comFlorida Woman Who Uses Claude as Her Diary Learns the Hard Way That Claude Has a Human Review TeamYour deepest secrets are safe with Claude, provided they aren’t the kind that require a SWAT team.

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He did not mean “from Los Vegas”. #DonaldTrump #JamesTalarico #texas #Vegan #OddNews

oddnews.comPresident Who Eats Well-Done Steak With Ketchup Accuses Eighth-Generation Texan of Being “Vagan”He did not mean “from Los Vegas”.

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We'll be praying for someone to turn it off. #christianrock #eminem #jesus #kidrock #OddNews

oddnews.comEminem To Appear on Kid Rock’s Christian Album, Proving There Is No GodWe’ll be praying for someone to turn it off.

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Detroit's two most famous white rappers have reunited for the first time since a 1998 song called F*** Off, which may not have been Christian music. #Album #christianity #eminem #kidrock #music #sin #OddNews

oddnews.comEminem Guests on Kid Rock’s Christian Album in a Song About Sin, a Topic They Both Have Experience WithDetroit’s two most famous white rappers have reunited for the first time since a 1998 song called F*** Off, which may not have been Christian music.

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After seven months of arguing that antlers are a kind of hat. #beaver #bucees #lawsuit #logo #mickeys #moose #Ohio #OddNews

oddnews.comBuc-ee’s Settles Trademark Lawsuit Alleging a Moose Is a BeaverAfter seven months of arguing that antlers are a kind of hat.

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Don't be fooled. #ai #fastfood #mcdonalds #menu #OddNews

oddnews.comMcDonald’s Claims AI Will Lower Prices but Instead Will Continue To Exploit You for Maximum ProfitDon’t be fooled.

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We knew the price of beef is soaring, but this is ridiculous. #cheesesteak #philadelphia #sandwich #weapon #OddNews

oddnews.comPhilly Cheesesteak Wars Heat up After Owner Assaulted by SandwichWe knew the price of beef is soaring, but this is ridiculous.

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They insist this is a coincidence. #bostondynamics #ice #robot #RobotDog #OddNews

oddnews.comICE Spends $1.3 Million on Four Robot Dogs. Names Them After Cerberus, Guardian of the Gates of HellThey insist this is a coincidence.

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We're pretty sure he had a sinking feeling when his car stopped moving. #capecod #car #FloridaMan #ocean #storm #OddNews

oddnews.comFlorida Man Takes SUV for a Dip in the Atlantic During Nor’easterWe’re pretty sure he had a sinking feeling when his car stopped moving.

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Evidence suggests everyone involved was drunk too. #ai #alcohol #drunk #Research #secret #OddNews

oddnews.comAustralian Researchers Get AI Drunk, Discover It Will Tell You AnythingEvidence suggests everyone involved was drunk too.

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Buried Lede: finds actual snipe. #AI #Alaska #hunting #snipe #OddNews

oddnews.comGoogle AI Sends Kodiak Woman on Out-Of-Season Snipe HuntBuried Lede: finds actual snipe.

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Humblebrag much? #etsy #interview #job #spell #tarot #witch #OddNews

oddnews.comFlorida Man Claims Etsy Witch Got Him Too Many Job InterviewsHumblebrag much?

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It looks like you're trying to wipe out one-eighth of humanity. Would you like help with that? #AI #apocalypse #BillGates #billionaire #clippy #Microsoft #OddNews

oddnews.comBill Gates Warns He Can’t Stop Building an AI That Could Kill One Billion PeopleIt looks like you’re trying to wipe out one-eighth of humanity. Would you like help with that?

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Which is like getting fired from Philip Morris for smoking Philip Morris cigarettes on a smoke break. #404Media #ai #chatgpt #firing #openai #OddNews

oddnews.comOpenAI Fires ChatGPT Trainers for Using ChatGPT To Train ChatGPTWhich is like getting fired from Philip Morris for smoking Philip Morris cigarettes on a smoke break.

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It’s totally a Hitler reference. #Hitler #horse #horseracing #Indiana #indianapolis #OddNews

oddnews.comIndiana Man Names Horse “Austrian Painter”, Swears It’s Not a Hitler ReferenceIt’s totally a Hitler reference.

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They'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need an ambulance. #AmusementPark #california #injury #Lawsuit #rollercoaster #sixflags #OddNews

oddnews.comAbusement Park: 100 Riders Given Brain Damage by Six Flags CoasterThey’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need an ambulance.

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The future is here, and it doesn’t drive particularly well. #alphabet #denver #driverlesscar #farmersmarket #Waymo #OddNews

oddnews.comWaymo Hits up Farmers Market - Literally (And Legally)The future is here, and it doesn’t drive particularly well.

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JD Vance’s momma was unavailable for questioning, as she was sitting around the house. Get it? Try the veal. #comedy #fart #JDVance #joke #NorthCarolina #OddNews

oddnews.comVice President Tries Out New Comedy Material With “Fart Left” JokeJD Vance’s momma was unavailable for questioning, as she was sitting around the house. Get it? Try the veal.

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The good news: You have options. The bad news: They're also expensive. #beef #chicken #diet #pork #USDA #OddNews

oddnews.comUSDA Secretary Recommends Replacing Expensive Beef With Expensive Chicken, PorkThe good news: You have options. The bad news: They’re also expensive.

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Sadly on brand. #BoFrench #catholicism #MAGA #racism #texas #OddNews

oddnews.comMAGA Rages Against Catholic Bishop for Condemning RacismSadly on brand.

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Which is like getting fired from Philip Morris for smoking Philip Morris cigarettes on a smoke break. #chatgpt #openai #oddnews

oddnews.comOpenAI Fires ChatGPT Trainers for Using ChatGPT To Train ChatGPTWhich is like getting fired from Philip Morris for smoking Philip Morris cigarettes on a smoke break…

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It’s totally a Hitler reference. #horseracing #horse #indiana #oddnews

oddnews.comIndiana Man Names Horse “Austrian Painter”, Swears It’s Not a Hitler ReferenceIt’s totally a Hitler reference.

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They'll sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need an ambulance. #amusementpark #sixflags #oddnews

oddnews.comAbusement Park: 100 Riders Given Brain Damage by Six Flags CoasterThey’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need an ambulance.

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Incidentally, the last man in the Pentagon with anything near a 2.8 rating on IMDb was Donald Rumsfeld. #jakepaul #loganpaul #Pentagon #PeteHegseth #OddNews

oddnews.comHegseth Hosts the Paul Brothers at the Pentagon, Somehow Manages to Not Get Their Butts Kicked AgainIncidentally, the last man in the Pentagon with anything near a 2.8 rating on IMDb was Donald Rumsfeld.

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The Kremlin’s digital sovereignty apparently comes with a 30-day free trial. #Dell #election #laptop #Microsoft #russia #vladimirpurin #vote #OddNews

oddnews.comPutin Votes for Himself on a Pirated Copy of Windows Running on a DellThe Kremlin’s digital sovereignty apparently comes with a 30-day free trial.