Waylon Jennings-Yutani

I should be allowed to hunt any America-bound bolsonaro for sport.

Kamala once again exhibiting the political instincts of the naked mole rat that the other naked mole rats call “out of touch”

Post Headline: BRENT CRUDE

Dred Scott American Summer

Donald Trump is calling his adult diaper technology “Pooper Intelligence”

A guy who got full anesthesia for a leg tattoo just isn’t leading you to the promised land. You’re literally better off with a quarterback who would cry if his mom found out he got a tattoo.

All the bands have to come to Brazil now

Knicks need to go on a girls road trip or something, sheesh

The other podcast infidelity guy was funnier, because he looked like a home schooled muppet. This guy looks like he was put on this earth to cheat on his wife.

Going on Shark Tank to accuse Mr. Wonderful of framing his wife for boat murder.

It’s wild that Bill Simmons has publicly yelled at two separate colleagues and been justified in retrospect both times.

lol

Rooting for one of the three English soccer teams that doesn’t play in London.

FARROW FACTS!

A grilled cheese and tomato soup is deconstructed pizza #2012Posting

Whenever someone talks about their future wife, I picture a nice lady in a silver jumpsuit and visor style sunglasses.

The Republican Pqrty is a loose conglomeration of child molesters that came to realize that governance was the most efficient way to facilitate their various molestings.

No 4DX showings of You Can See Everything in my local theater smdh

🫡

NBC just gave Philly Brunson’s hit free throw?

There are people who can navigate ethical non-monogamy healthily and for a long term, but they are all French and they all fit inside an urban McDonalds.

Every Republican who can string three words together is an industry plant.

I think that Woody Johnson should give Mike Tomlin a big bag of money.

Once again, the proof that there are no good billionaires is that no one has given John Carpenter $160 million to make a western.

Im not calling anything ‘SI’ unless it gives me a free football phone.

official correspondence from the White House in the voice of the president of the united states, or copy from a magazine ad for Virginia Slims from 1986? You Decide!

I’m the fuckin’ poohbeah - Vinnie the Pooh

If I had my way, Kelly Clarkson would never get her hands on any kind of clockwork bird.

You Knoooooow it smell crazy in there.

I think the secret to Shohei Otani’s baseball ability was high stakes gambling.

Scam Cattebo

I know that the real problem is that “cacklingly, child-molesteringly evil” polls at about 30%, but I do hate how much of our collective future rides on the opinions of the very dumb.

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Her Lover.

I have been awarded the Nobel Prize for Grilling: Whole Meats and Vegetable Skewers Division. It is an honor.

New DNC slogan just dropped

Bee-hWHEEM-uth

We frew up, dwill sergeant

Actually, if Kid Rock had a verse about how Charlie Kirk deserved it, I’m fine with this line.

 Some enterprising junior film executive must have at least floated the idea of approaching Adele to do the theme to Whalefall.

Mr. Bean Mr. Bean Goes Hawai’ian Bean Everlasting Ballistic: Ecks vs. Mr. Bean Johnny English

Libertad bibbertad egalitard

Whipping out a vape the size and shape of a ghostbusters’ proton pack and blowing a fat cloud of cotton candy vape juice directly in Kai Ryasdal’s mouth.