Richard Eltringham

If #British students had kicked off like the French, we wouldn’t be stuck with tuition fees dressed up as ‘opportunity’ we’d still have grants. Vive la #France 🇫🇷

Dog supervises community bulb‑planting

Britain’s great absurdity: gardening is worshipped as a middle‑class wellness ritual, horticulture is left to die behind the compost bin, and social‑media influencers now lecture professionals on “soil vibes” from patios they paid someone else to build. www.hortweek.com/letter-garde...

Dog guarding keg. Democracy intact.

#artificialintelligence is only the first step. The real leap comes when our body’s cells finally give up and we upload our minds to the cloud outliving these decaying biological husks while pretending it was all part of the plan #openai #computing #anthropic #chatbots

Tax the #superintelligence, support the #humans, and let the rest of us live a halfway decent life while the algorithms get on with their grand plans

I’ve taken the executive decision to rename #RutlandWater Lake Superior, on the basis that if #America can annex half the planet culturally, I’m entitled to borrow a lake

If the climate keeps escalating, we’ll soon be living like root vegetables pale, buried and praying for steady humidity. And perhaps Britain’s future really is where we end up: in a hole. www.theguardian.com/environment/...

Remove every plant that irritates, poisons or inconveniences and you don’t get safety. You get empty parks.

Summer isn’t loud; it hums softly in the shade, where even the restless learn to rest.

It takes one electrician plus six consultants, three compliance officers, a neighbourhood WhatsApp group, and a man from the council who arrives uninvited to observe to install an electric car charger. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

#England’s climate has changed. Our planting palette must change with it. #climatechange

One reason to skip #London? When a £10 pint is treated like a perfectly normal part of city life, you realise the capital isn’t a destination it’s a financial endurance sport. And yes, this madness will spread www.theguardian.com/food/2026/ju...

#Britain has finally cracked the energy crisis: we now have so much #greenpower we have to switch it off. www.theguardian.com/environment/...

Neil the seal is in love with bollards www.theguardian.com/australia-ne... #Tasmania #Australia

30,000 souls crammed into 2.6 hectares, proof that if Britain borrowed a page from China’s playbook, we’d have homes for all and still room for a picnic. But no, we prefer our housing crisis artisanal and locally sourced.

“The honourable member for Kennel South rises to address the biscuit deficit.”

Diplomacy, you see, is best conducted over snacks.

Across much of #Europe, social or publicly backed #housing makes up over half of all homes, giving people stability and a foundation for a decent life. #Britain let its own stock wither, pushing rents up and prospects down

#Brighton’s nudist beach is, of course, the official nudist beach. Even so, last summer one man managed to astonish passers‑by when he appeared strolling along carrying two cups of coffee and half a dozen ring doughnuts

The country isn’t where it should be. Decent working people are grafting through three jobs just to stay afloat. Take one example: a bloke who’s had to be Mayor of #Manchester, MP for #Makerfield, and now he’s applying to be #PrimeMinister all just to put food on the table.

The #StraitofHormuz is neither open nor closed; it exists in a kind of Schrödinger’s president — simultaneously headless, and somehow still full of shit.

Not the Messiah (He's a Very Northern Boy) #AndyBurnham #Makerfield

Hitler is said to have instructed the Luftwaffe to spare the #Brighton Pavilion, allegedly he admired its architecture and fancied it as a post‑war summer residence. Brighton, in this telling, appealed to him more than #Eastbourne, which he apparently considered a little too right‑wing

It's simple really. Do you want to buy a house or a ticket for the #WorldCup? www.theguardian.com/football/202...

Pundits mourning ‘modern #football’ while lounging on fortunes minted from TV deals that priced out half the fanbase is hypocrisy so blatant it should get its own VAR review #WorldCup

#Elon reached $100 billion, proving once again that the real limit is not the sky, but everyone else’s salary

The #WorldCup has begun, so #England flags can return to their natural habitat windows, vans, pubs instead of being dragged into yet another tedious debate hosted by people who don’t even like #football.

Where #WorldCup dreams meet deforestation, watched by squirrels, and the halftime show is photosynthesis.

A man had a stack of birthday cards and was already sixty quid up after opening the first six. One of the quieter perks of being a postman.

And to think I’d always assumed this was confined to prisoners, what with the anti‑social tendencies and all www.theguardian.com/science/2026...

After months in the wildness the legend returns

Boop

@number10cat.bsky.social Larry, given you have served under more prime ministers than most cabinet ministers have held a job, how would you rate Starmer’s tenure as a leader, lodger, and a provider of snacks?

Remove the brain of a salamander, cut it apart, dice it, mince it, and place it back, and the creature will continue to function as if nothing happened.

Nice Beaver #leicestershire www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

The sea keeps its own counsel. We’re just the rumour it carries inland

Boop

Only the Romans would pack a daffodil for morale

The #Iranwar has pushed prices so high that GP surgeries are now prescribing Viagra—apparently it’s the only thing still capable of getting the country through these hard times.

Apparently we fed our dogs, then sometimes ate them — a bond both caring and consumptive www.theguardian.com/science/2026...

Skip the tinsel this Christmas. Plant tredges instead www.theguardian.com/environment/...

We are, essentially, sentient puddles queuing for coffee, arguing about bins and Googling “entropy” like it’s a personality trait.

@number10cat.bsky.social Larry the Cat has officially become the longest continuous resident of Downing Street since William Pitt the Younger, surpassing all Prime Ministers in tenure www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

The emperor penguins, once climate icons, have issued a statement: “We’re flattered, but please redirect your guilt. The chocolate lads are melting faster than we are.” www.bbc.com/news/article...

If you could increase the lifespan of pooches, would you? www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

This will leave you with a horrible picture of #RichardMadeley sat on a dessert island in his off white y-fronts www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Profiting out of other people’s misery