outoftheclear.bsky.social

Learning about the history of professional wrestling: "She seems nice. I wonder what happened to... Oh God."

I'm in a weird place with comic book movies. I have moral objections to the normalization of solving problems via murder, but I'm happy to see creators rejecting the framing of every story as a morality tale that requires "justice" as resolution. I want both more and also less focus on morality.

"How to Put Out a Grease Fire" videos should not have a lengthy introduction.

There's a character on the latest season of Reacher who announces he's an Ai technician and is immediately murdered. I know someone's being pandered to, and I'm concerned it might be me.

I will vote for whoever makes it illegal for politicians to text me.

I get that companies provide YouTubers with ad scripts, and that the point is to highlight the services being offered, but it's tough not to feel some credibility is undermined when the person whose thoughts I'm interested in hearing explains they can't manage to arrange a doctor's appointment.

Based on your shopping trends, we think you'll be interested in: Sinus headache relief; sinus infection medication; antihistamines; migraine therapy... Well, that's foreboding.

I never realized Fairuza Balk was in the Worst Witch. Also, Tim Curry's character is unfortunately named "the Grand Wizard."

Watching the 90's animated Spider-Man. Jameson, furiously shouting about looking ridiculous compared to other networks, ends with "...even Fox." J.J. Jameson is woke. I was shocked too.

Air Bud, but karate. Have we done that one yet?

ACAB doesn't apply to Columbo, right?

I remember watching Stigmata when I was younger, and it seemed to present as such a radical and controversial idea. Watching it now, it's basically just "but what if Jesus was Protestant?"

During filming for Sudden Death, cardboard cut-outs were used to fill in crowd shots, as they could not afford to pay for more extras. Those cut-outs would later be repurposed to fill empty seats in theaters showing the film Sudden Death.

Inferno? More like Dante's Inferno, because this movie is really really bad.

Jean-Claude Van Damme is neither Kylie Minogue nor Raul Julia, and as such, I did not remember he was in the movie Street Fighter.

Allegedly, Kickboxer and Bloodsport are two different movies.

In Lionheart, when the greased up shirtless dudes wrestle in a half drained pool for a crowd of cheering, coked-up Los Angeles elites, I couldn't help but feel this is an allegory for a much more challenging film.

If Timecop was made today, the ending would reveal a clever misdirect, wherein it's revealed the masked goon who killed JCVD's wife was actually him from the future, covertly saving her. Instead, Ron Silver turns into goo. Tough to say which is the richer narrative experience.

Watching Double Impact. The Belgian accented JCVD raised in Hong Kong keeps calling the Belgian accented JCVD from America the f-slur because he's mad at him for speaking to his woman. Also, there's a predatory lesbian goon, and a surprising amount of ball torture. The 90's sure was a decade.

After weeks of speculation and obfuscation regarding Senator Mitch McConnell's health, Senator Lindsey Graham has died.

The coexistence of Yellowstone, the Righteous Gemstones, and Succession suggests that around 2016, someone in Hollywood, presumably high on cocaine, would not shut the fuck up about America having its own King Leer.

I'm starting to suspect JD Vance converted to Catholicism just to give Evangelicals more ammunition to use against the Church.

Chuck Norris doesn't die, he just roundhouse... wait. What's that? Oh. I suppose I was misinformed. He is dead.

Diegetically speaking, are we to understand clowns have giant feet, or is the joke that they can't afford shoes that fit? Is our cruel mockery at the expense of their physical features or socioeconomic status?

When they say oil is at $100 a barrel, that doesn't include the cost of the barrel, right? Has anybody looked into this?

There's something so fundamentally stupid about trump's bragging that they killed the potential leaders they had planned to support in Iran because we're "too good" at air strikes.

how we got here

I don't care about the Olympics, and I find the Minions genuinely irritating, but a figure skater whose dream is to bring the Minions to the Olympics is a weirdly compelling story.

TRIGGER WARNING, because here is a US Marshal from Trump‘s Gestapo Force in Memphis kicking a puppy today in the Whitehaven neighborhood and breaking its rib. They were serving a warrant and I guess BIG MAN got scared of the schnauzer. (I didn’t take the video, the dog’s person did)

CHICAGOANS!!!! Voting is open for the annual snowplow naming contest. And “Abolish Ice” is one of the options. You know what to do (vote): chicagoshovels.org

I think I owe a debt of gratitude to Scott Adams, for teaching me, a child who loved cartoons, that some of them can be lame as fuck.

I think a lot of people intuitively downloaded the Epstein files when they were released with the tacit understanding that trump might try to withdraw them or "correct" some missed redaction. Nonetheless, them just disappearing photos they missed of trump is still somehow jarring.

“It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment.” - Guy who wasn't expecting to get shot in the neck.

I spilled ginger ale on myself because I was trying to drink while shivering. To whom do I contact about reimbursement for my vaccine injury?

Obviously, I would never encourage anyone to break the law under any circumstance. Unrelated, multiple Grand Juries have refused to indict people arrested for fucking with cops on their fascist patrols, including the guy who threw a whole sub sandwich at one of them.

More cartoons the New Yorker didn't want.

Most of my sports knowledge comes from crime documentaries. My favorite Hulk Hogan memory is that he once testified, in court, "I do not have a 10-inch penis... Terry Bollea's penis is not 10 inches." A fitting epitaph.

More cartoons the New Yorker didn't want.