Snakes

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*slithers into hospital*, *hisses to receptionist*, *hisses to doctor*, *looks at crying snake wife*

HELP THEY TRAPPED ME IN THIS CD AND SOME WEIRD GIRL BOUGHT ME

I’m running out of snake jokes can you pretend this is funny

I just looked up big snake on Google without safe search on. Needless to say, I’m disappointed in you.

Something something something I’m a snake

Snakes are NOT hot. We are DEADLY. You should be SCARED of us.

Does anyone know a good snake oil seller? I need some for my skin.

Snake yaoi

Adopt a snake today, we could use a home

I really appreciate deftones making jobs for snakes with private music! People don’t tend to give snakes jobs anymore due to the stigma around is injecting people with venom.

That red snake kinda

This is what I would look like if I was blue

HE WONT ANSWER ME

Why isn't my face ID working?

Funny joke where the punchline is that I’m a snake

I am not 20 snakes in a trench coat.

Imagine having a digital footprint. Couldn’t be me, I have a digital line in the sand.

SNAKE speaks PERFECT Mandarin at restaurant … Japanese waitress CONFUSED as hell ‼️

Snakes should be able to vote too.

If you have a nut allergy, I’m coming for you specifically.

@indianajonesminute.bsky.social I'm coming for you

Eating my own tail right now. This has to be symbolic of SOMETHING.

How killing little babies feels

Who wants my mystery gift?

“I’m a minor dni” okay, and I’m a snake.

Can you guys stop using snake as an insult?

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What people don’t seem to realise is that the size and length of the snake isn’t what’s important, it’s about the quality of the kill and how fast you get the venom out.

I would like to say on behalf of all snakes, the “only a spoonful” vine is very comical.

Did you know that snakes have been reported to climb up toilets? If you’re on the toilet right now, turn around.

HISSSS

Oh you’re “the goat” are you? Well guess what I am.

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This but will never get old surely

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I could kill that stupid motherfucker in an instant, okay. Fucking piece of shit.

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@snake.bsky.social hey ;)

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