pandathletic

The great thing about having young kids at home is you get to ask yourself the real big questions like is the sun comestible? Has the stroller washed their hands when we got home? Is the punishment for stealing to be eaten?

Who takes their vitamins supplement together with pizza to trick their body into thinking it's extra nutritious? No *I* would not do that, just wondering for science.

This is insane to me. Your dad is a billionaire, and made sure you and your kids and their kids never have to worry about anything ever, without having to do anything. The smart move is to have fun and say thank you, not throw said dad off a cliff FFS what's wrong with those fuckers??!?! 🤬

Lying, enriching his family by stealing, starting wars, raping children, all that and more wasn't enough, but the price of oil might finally trigger a reaction? Maybe?

Diesel is 43% up from July in Sweden, I'd like a big round of go fuck yourself to the orange cunt, thank you very much!!

Sunny and fresh Monday morning in Stockholm. The far right did worse than expected in the general election. Feeling hopeful for a sec.

What's wrong with those people seriously 😠 "Eight years ago, the conservative prime minister Ulf Kristersson promised a Holocaust survivor he would never form a government with the far right. [...] Now Kristersson is promising the far right cabinet positions."

🎶 hello anger my old friend 🎶 GTFO imma kill you motherfucker

I know one guy who's fuming at all the praise Dolly Parton is receiving and the sadness her passing brings to people, while knowing his own checking out will be celebrated with mockery and pure joy.

"Some systems are down"? Bluesky be like Mitch apparently

I have the impression this Taylor fellow isn't all that great at farming 🤔

Eureka!! I finally have the perfect comeback for this argument I had in 2006. Oh boy am I going to destroy you my friend when I get my hands on a time machine mwahaha 😈

OP: look how good this carrot looks! Replies: how dare you trash cucumbers you dipshit go die in a ditch! 🤷

Sometimes I miss the blessed time where we only ran the dishwasher only once a day

So the alleged greatest country in the world is at the stage of cops intending to kill people over alleged shoplifting accusations. 👏👏👏 How about we pause all that winning for a sec shall we? 🤔

It bothers me so much that we evolved to the point of knowing what happened milliseconds after the weirdest cosmic event that happened 13.8 billion years ago, but we can't get along with people living next door. I mean what are we even trying to achieve here.

Hey bozos!! If you vote for me I promise to enrich myself to levels never thought possible while giving exactly 0 fuck about any of you!! Bozos: *run to the street doing the helicopter with their dick, end up getting knocked out by walking on a rake on the front yard, silly cartoon music playing*

Seems nobody in the US administration thought that hosting the world cup would attract people from around the world. Who could have guessed 🤷 Where are all those foreigners coming from suddenly omg omg better not let them in!! Good it turns out not THAT many made the trip.

How many libs have truly been owned since 2024 anyway? And what a tale for your grandkids.. Old magat: Back then we went to war, killed thousands, impoverished millions, brought back ancient diseases, renounced science.. Kid: wait why?? - To drink the tears of libs of course! - Did you? - stfu

BREAKING: marine biologists can't explain why 100s of orcas appear to be currently heading toward Seattle...

So we did get the aliens files before the Epstein ones after all uh? I wonder what that means... 🤷 That's not true I don't wonder at all

If a murder of crows murders a crow, where in the name of Fuck are the Epstein files?

More like the no-balls room amirite

Just wanted to acknowledge for a sec that sustaining 2:40 - 2:55 min/km for 2h is INSANE!! Hat's off to Sebastian Sawe, and big respect to Yomif Kejelcha for finishing sub 2h as well. What a performance 🤩

If anything we should get the rhetoric upper

The fun thing is when there is a real attempt everyone will be like yeah yeah yeah sure whatevs.. I wish there was a simple story teaching children not to do that 🤔

Me: As everyone knows, I'm an extraordinarily brilliant person. Interviewer: You could have said you didn't understand the role description.

Let's screenshot her into irrelevance. Now if you'll excuse me I'll be boiling some water to serve the FBI tea when they show up.

Can we call it popesplaining? #popesplaining anyone?

Thanks all for all the doctor jokes today, that really brings joy to the TL 😂

See 2026? You actually CAN bring some good news!!

Not sure about you but I'm getting tired of the world balance depending on the brain farts of poorly written sitcom characters.

The way it looks he's not going to pop off by pressing a trigger from inside a bunker, but by shouting Allahu Akbar and blowing himself up in a mall 😳

Yeah so if the USA could stop acting on the behalf of "the world" that would be great. Thanks, The world.

The great wall of China is not visible from space, but the airport lines due to ICE "helping" are*, proving the absolute superiority of the USA! *Unchecked fact

So let me get this straight. We are collectively fine with killing each other over made up stories, eating food that is essentially all plastic, and spending most of our day enslaved, so that ~20 dudes fulfill their childhood dream of being a king? Are we alright? Don't answer that.

Regular reminder to all MS365 users that there is a world out there that allows collaboration by default, where files sync correctly and are organized sensibly, and that generally when you click something, the thing freaking works immediately as you'd expect. Free yourself and seek that world!

42% increase in gas price compared to two weeks ago. Can the dipshit responsible hang by the balls already?!?!

Maybe not the most infuriating matter at the moment but the fact that there's a good chance he dies in office and not in prison is really upsetting.

When "oh I should check in Jira Align" is the first thing that comes to mind when trying to dig out a work item you've talked about earlier with a colleague, you really know that you've lost your humanity 😭

My big oil buddies are raking in the extra millions that you all pay for everyday may not be the leadership flex His Bigarsery thinks it is

Soon the weekend! Have a great one everyone, except to that 40 something dude who introduced crazy frog to my daughter's friend who then proceeded to infect the whole class. Not cool bro.

Mark Quashie is turning 60 this year and I wonder if he still likes to move it as much as he used to 🤔

Shits are way to expensive to be given out without careful consideration these days. And fucks are getting there rapidly too 😔

4 guys in their 80s play tennis double. 40% of serves score. 90% of returns score. Those stats are so impressive!! 🤩 The overall pace of the game is... Well.. very cute let's say 😊

Life in 2026 could be such a wonderful experience for all humans. We have the ingenuity and resources. If only we would put our lives in the hands of the demonstrably smartest and most benevolent people, instead of the demonstrably most stupid and egocentric among us. Just a fucking thought.

The best thing about going skiing with small kids is when one gets sick on day 2 and the rest of your holidays turns into an expensive surprise vomit bootcamp 🙌

Congratulations to President Harris for a rallying SOTU speech. She embraced strength in difference and pragmatic optimism. A challenging exercise as she faces criticism for her latest policies. What? Did I post in the wrong timeline again?

I bet getting rid of the current US administration will feel like taking the boots off at the end of a ski day. Still feels painful and smelly but what a relief!

We are really getting closer to the bunker scene aren't we

At this point asking the US AG to abide by the law is like asking a tp roll to do the dishes. Pointless and ridiculous.