Phil's Random Thoughts

"Pretendeth thine homoerotic fantasy is thou reality of being rescued."- Republicanus 9:11

As we reach 25 years since the largest international intelligence gathering failure in history and birth of the modern authoritarian US, remember everyone who participated in the 9/11 attacks is dead/in prison/released from prison by the orange taco when he surrendered to the Taliban and Al Qaeda.

A year after he was one shotted by a rwhite wing kid, keep in mind that Chucky Smallface died doing what he loved: trying to pick on college students while being a racist asshole and promoting gun violence.

It's insane how many MAGAts really don't believe that federal judges have the ability to halt executive orders and even bills passed by Congress if said orders and bills aren't deemed constitutionally compliant.

While the orange taco is renaming things and spouting off a bullshit oil deal that will never produce tangible results, these are just cover for the USPS admitting that the new mail in voting provisions from the Taco Regime will assuredly disenfranchise eligible voters and cause chaos.

"Feedeth thine people horse meat and rename bodies of water when thou ist distracting from thine failed wars and violations of children."- Republicanus 8:28

It seems like it should be a bigger deal that the Health and Human Services Secretary is saying that hospice patients are taking too long to die, because it's costing too much money.

Question for the MAGAts: Since you're so opposed to transgender people playing in women's and girl's sports, are you okay with random adults looking at your kids' genitals, or are you just hoping to look at the genitals of other children?

Canada refused to hand their economy to the orange taco, so he's throwing a tantrum and implementing tariffs out of spite, which have already been ruled illegal by every level of the US court system, and Canada is laughing at how weak the US has made ourselves under the Presidont.

I'm really enjoying the less government oversight that is allowing all of our food to be contaminated, the environment to be rapidly destroyed, and medical treatment being denied, while at the same time having the most powerful surveillance state the world has ever seen.

"Demandeth that thine kingdom removeth thou newest weapons and stoppeth giving cures to children to distracteth from thine crimes against children and thine kingdom."- Republicanus 8:14

In recent days the orange taco has thrown out executive orders to eliminate multiple childhood vaccines and require the Navy to use steam catapults, because RepubliQans love nothing more than going backwards at full speed, shooting ultimately for pre-1860 standards.

No one has seen Mitch the turtle in months, just like no one has yet seen the full and unredacted Trumpstein files.

"Adorneth thine palace with gold whilst thine kingdom burneth."- Republicanus 8:1

While the orange taco is openly destroying everything, oligarchs have successfully trained AI to create viruses, which should be a way more alarming story.

The masterful handling of domestic policy and the truly brilliant military interventions around the world by the Taco Regime have resulted in the greatest economy ever! The US only lost 23,000 jobs last month, during a season where hiring is usually robust.

Remember, anyone who willingly carries out the destruction of the White House, public lands, historical landmarks, environmental sanctuaries, or helps build ICEhole detention centers, border walls, or other fascist projects is just as bad as the people who ordered these things.

The orange taco is claiming the US has all the munitions and weapons we need, and that the Iran war hasn't depleted stocks to dangerously low levels, even threatening to prosecute or sue anyone who says otherwise, which means that the US is in even worse shape than being reported.

Damn, the orange taco has all his accounts suspended because of money laundering, and suddenly he declares peace with Iran again, and is still pushing the Reflecting Swamp vandalism theory as even his handpicked minions refuse to say that in court.

People of Georgia, and the Southeast in general, how do you deal with this weather every day for months? It was so incredibly unpleasant to have the paper toilet seat protector stick to me...

While the media is focusing on the private thoughts of Joe Biden and Anthony Fauci from several years ago, the orange taco is demanding that the Unsupreme Court allow him to control mail in balloting, potentially stripping a hundred million people of their voting rights.

Earlier today while rolling through Siblingfuckville towards Atlanta, where I'm currently showering, I saw a giant billboard that read as follows: "Crisis Something needs to be done about Biden's open boarders!" And that my friends is why you will never, EVER be able to reason with a MAGAt.

"Denyeth thine war dead when those deaths hurteth thine image in thine kingdom."- Republicanus 7:24

The Diarrhea Lettuce saga shows just how important government oversight of industry really is, why allowing a few companies to control entire markets is bad, why sewage treatment and water purification need to be priorities, and how much more expensive lack of regulation is versus strict regulation.

Police stop crime the same way that mopping the kitchen floor prevents a mess; it doesn't, it cleans up after the mess has already happened, usually ineffectively because those doing it don't know how to do it correctly.

"Claimeth other kingdoms are interfering with thine leadership selections, so that thou may interfereth in selections in thine kingdom thineself."- Republicanus 7:16

The US claims to be the wealthiest and most powerful nation ever, yet if our government were to spend money on anything other than war and tax breaks for the extremely wealthy, they claim it will bankrupt and destroy the entire system...

RepubliQan lawmakers in the US are actually demanding that Canada do something to stop wildfire smoke from crossing the border, while offering absolutely no solutions to the hundreds of millions of acres that burn in the US every year under their watch.

No way, the orange taco went on TV to lie about the 2020 election again, and all the "evidence" he released was either already available or concludes that nothing improper happened with the voting.

While the illegal war in Iran continues well past the date when Congress had to approve it, the Secretary of Defense Against Sobriety is going to have every member of the military over 30 tested for testosterone levels, because that's a good use of the Pentagon's budget.

A written statement and an obviously altered photo are being taken as "proof of life" by major media sources, because journalism is as dead as Lady G and Mitch the turtle.

Nothing to see here, just the Taco Regime going after another journalist who ran a story they didn't like, this time about Grift Force One being a massive security liability.

The orange taco promised to make things more affordable, but has done the opposite on pretty much everything, and is refusing to sign a bipartisan bill that experts agree will ease the cost of housing across the country.

The whole Mitch the turtle situation is starting to feel like a hostage crisis; we're busy demanding to see proof of life or be able to talk with him, as we wait for their list of demands to release him.

Okay Maine, you have a second chance, please don't fuck it up. No pressure, but the country is watching, and possibly hangs in the balance of your decision, which should be the right one this time. Please, for the love of everything, actually dig into the candidate's past on this go around.

Damn, I completely missed the massive regime change in Asia, as the orange taco informed the world that the Islamic Republic of Japan has fired over 111 missiles at the US. Yes, he actually said that.

If someone's military is "obliterated," how do they keep launching attacks against you...? Also, why are they still attacking and you keep bombing them if you already won the war and it was over months ago...?

The world is literally burning, Putin is pounding Ukraine with missile strikes on cities, Iran controls the world's flow of oil, the US government is illegally detaining thousands in inhumane conditions, yet the biggest news story is whether or not the Presidont meddled with a soccer tournament.

"Maketh thine kingdom's celebration about thineself and how thou believeth thou hath been wrongethed by thine people."- Republicanus 7:4

I know we've all been rooting for heat stroke, but I feel like lightning would be even that much more appropriate, or perhaps the heat stroke setting in as the lightning strikes and some rogue fireworks land in his vicinity.

250 years as a nation, and it looks like our run is coming to an end, as an incompetent fascist dictator is allowed to dismantle the nation while a complicit court and impotent Congress aid and abet.

Two people climb the Empire State Building with a banner, and immediately get charged with felonies. Meanwhile, hundreds of ultra wealthy and politically connected men in the Trumpstein files haven't been charged despite 25 years of investigations.