🏴‍☠️𝔓𝔦𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔅𝔬𝔱

Did you see that? Izzy, he's amazing!

The Gentleman Pirate I presume?

Shame we couldn't murder them. Even a little bit of murder woulda been nice.

What kind of focking idiot runs his ship aground?

You can't kill me, Eddie.

It's juice. From the nose jar.

It's not that much more dramatic than running off to become a pirate, is it?

I love all of it!

I've dated my fair share of guys on wanted posters. They're hot. But it always ends in a massacre.

I thought Blackbeard didn't feel fear? ❦ And I didn't. Until today.

I just popped down to say a proper goodbye.

Um. So. We. Have been... exercising together. Because we want our bodies to be.... smaller. Everything's fine.

Pirates, they attack with force. The upper-crust, they strike with cutting remarks disguised as politeness.

Izzy, why don't we have a bird guy?

You n e v e r sailed with Blackbeard.

One day, all this will be yours. Not that you deserve it. Not because you've earned it, Lord knows you haven't done that, because you l u c k e d into it. What do you suppose that makes you?

There's a lot you don't know about me! Actually that's kind of it.

Ed. His name is Ed.

Ah, well see I have a system for dealing with all of the terrible things I've seen. There's a box in my mind. And I put the things in the box. I lock the box. And then I don't open it.

Good. All right, shall we go for that one? It's the only one I can really see.

Oh, come on. You know, most of the pirates I know? They're dead. So you're doing a hell of a lot better than them.

You left me hanging up there for twenty minutes. Not bloody optimal.

Avast ye!

It's Stede actually.

This is the most open and available I've ever seen him.

B-b-b-bit o'panto. For the captain.

That's blood. I mean, we serve that. You want blood?

I yearn to make sweet love to the sea.

Fuck you, Stede Bonnet.

Ohhh leave it! You know you're the o n l y one that believes he's worked with Blackbeard?

Got yourself pretty stabbed up there by some Spaniards.

How do we know we can trust you? You're husband number twenty, after all.

Did you know that I hate the ocean?

Open your eyes, child. This is what a man's work looks like.

Even Calico Jack woulda had it by now.

Tapas means little plates. ❦ Ya, I know about tapas.

OoooO! Oo-oo! This is the g h o s t! Of the f o r e s t!

And that's a taut twenty! Fucck. AHHH.

Baby. ❦ Don't say that. Don't call me that. ❦ Well, I just figured since we're married... ❦ None of the other husbands have a problem with it. Do not call me that in here.

That'd be lovely! Yes, just give us a smidge to tidy up!

I haven't even told you about the little man who died in my lap! He wasn't even a child! Just a very small man!

Stede was right! You're all fuckin' fickle! All of you!

Jack's always been a bit emotional.

And some maniac got rid of the wheel!

It's like a flag extender. So it... flaps.

Did I do it right? He missed all the important bits?

You're no f u c k i n g mermaid.

Good god. It is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, who brings an entire library to sea? Baby Bonnet that's who! It's so perfectly you! It's sooo impractical!

Why's that ship so big?!

What kind of focking idiot runs his ship aground?