Pobnellion

The man with the biggest cock is almost 1 inch longer than his average friend

They're called Frankenstein Dr. Frankenstein because of the monster inside

im a man of small dick and huge cock

this whole election thing is so meaningless.

i am currently a man of many talents

i just received a mysterious orb in the mail

a thousand goblins would be a nuisance

*tearfully* My little pecker.. soiled

[trying to lighten the mood] this is so sad

I need a man with a large, throbbing penis

The new iPhone vibrates really hard until I scream

my feet are sooo stinky

Just invented a new ice cream cone flavor called the Egg Cone. Don't know if you've heard of ice creams but this is literally the coolest thing to me

You've made my balls hurt. You've made my Yurt boil.

The most popular man on Twitter is 57,187 years old. His name was Max Bellwether

"hey man what would you do if we invaded you right now would you suck us?" "Yeah....?"

This is just another reason why you need to be a fucking MORON!!!

my new regime

they're making cereal out of horse cum no no they're not

i just want you to know that weve got a lot in common...

My balls are swelling up and there's nothing I can do about it.

Ive got some spunk

My followers. Are you ready for some straight A-List Crazy Ass Crazy Sausage Ass Bitch pussy

im a new man, and i am a new god

I can make just about any sandwich I want

You're not really supposed to know what a threesome is

if you are ugly you get bullied. if you are not ugly you get bullied.

My friend told me he found a skeleton on the floor and i just looked over and down there were probably like 3 skeletons

im sorry. i need to use the facilities

I'm the guy in the bath tub. And you're here, too!

I never said we needed to legalize gay sex. I only said we needed to legalize straight sex.

They're calling me the shandong rabbit man

And what of Swag

I am going to need a million dollars next month to finish my mechanical keyboard

if i saw a guy with the color green in his tweets id start shooting. also if i saw a guy with the color green in my timeline id start shooting.

just came up with an awesome quote when i was in the shower

if you're reading this i'm probably: 1) kicking your ass, or 2) giving you money to eat out of my shoe

My dad's a millionaire

They're making slime from your cum in Europe

if u got a boob, ring for me cuz i love boob

I love how I met your mother

the most annoying people on here are the ones that dont even realise theyre annoying

(gets ripped apart by spikes)

this is my to-do list: covid cure for syphilis

This tweet will make you stop what you're doing and give me the attention I deserve

I can afford a microwave but I don't have one

every guy has that one uncle who always runs up to you and hovers there for a little while looking unerotic as shit

I'm getting ripped apart by these idiot spikes

im taking a hot long drink of water

i would go bowling with the fbi, and go fishing with the fbi