Police Squad! (In Color)

Disperse! Please disperse! There's nothing for you to see here! #PoliceSquad

Had a case like this, similar. The kidnappers cut the victim's ear off and sent it to the family. #PoliceSquad

The Frenchman was very upset #PoliceSquad

We're gonna have to check every tuba rental, sales and repair shop in town that's close to a filling station #PoliceSquad

Pot Roast #PoliceSquad

Car Keys Florida Keys Francis Scott Keys Honkeys Turkeys #PoliceSquad

- Did he owe any money Doctor bills? Gambling debts? Book-of-the-month club? - No, nothing. Just two more payments on our solar telescope #PoliceSquad

- I know this is a long shot, but did he ever eat chop suey? - Why no, no he never did - It was just a hunch. #PoliceSquad

I told him she was wrong. And that youngest boy, just like his father, football hero. Lived with him for a year, it wasn't the same. Can't go back. #PoliceSquad

- Did he owe any money Doctor bills? Gambling debts? Book-of-the-month club? - No, nothing. Just two more payments on our solar telescope #PoliceSquad

Sure he was a physical education major, but he had a mind. He could think. He wasn't all muscle, all body, all sinewy limbs. #PoliceSquad

He got married you know, later, had three kids. Never cared for her. Sent a nice gift, never got a note. #PoliceSquad

- Did he owe any money Doctor bills? Gambling debts? Book-of-the-month club? - No, nothing. Just two more payments on our solar telescope #PoliceSquad

Usual slurs, rumors, innuendo, people didn't understand. Ran him out of town like a common pygmy #PoliceSquad

- Did he have any enemies? - Well, the Democrats didn't like him #PoliceSquad

- Did he owe any money Doctor bills? Gambling debts? Book-of-the-month club? - No, nothing. Just two more payments on our solar telescope #PoliceSquad

Oh, poor Ralph. Do you know what it's like to be married to a wonderful man for 14 years? #PoliceSquad

No, I can't say I do. I did live with a guy once, though, but that was just for a couple of years #PoliceSquad

After taking care of an urgent personal matter, I proceeded directly to the address that Johnny had given me #PoliceSquad

- You said Eddie lied about his alibi? - Yeah, he wasn't at the movie. He was over in Milwaukee watching a baseball game. Afraid to tell anyone because crossing over the state line is a violation of parole. #PoliceSquad

Say, Captain, what do you want me to do with these files... #PoliceSquad

Be sure to tune in next week for another exciting story from the files of Police Squad #PoliceSquad

- Parole violation? Well, what are we gonna do about that? - Forget it. There are some things you can't deprive a man of. #PoliceSquad

Well, I'll drink to that, Frank. #PoliceSquad

- Cigarette? - Yes, it is #PoliceSquad

Do you mind if I change? #PoliceSquad

Let's go out in the Japanese Garden #PoliceSquad

21 Sept

- Cigarette? - Yes, I know #PoliceSquad

17 Sept

According to this, Frank, he was a model prisoner #PoliceSquad

13 Sept

All he's ever known is the world of crime. This doesn't excuse what he does, but I think we understand him a little better. #PoliceSquad #WordOnTheStreet

9 Sept

- Coffee? - Yes, I know #PoliceSquad

5 Sept

- Cigarette? - Yes, I know #PoliceSquad

2 Sept

Act II Gesundheit #PoliceSquad

29 Aug

- Cigarette? - Yes, I know #PoliceSquad

15 Aug

According to this, Frank, he was a model prisoner #PoliceSquad

12 Aug

Coat & Tie Required For Admission #PoliceSquad

9 Aug

- We went to the movies. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. "On the Waterfront" - Come on. There are no movie theaters on the waterfront! #PoliceSquad

6 Aug

- Johnny there's a fire in the Brubaker building - That's a furniture warehouse. Once the fire hits the polyvinyl you'll have dense smoke & lethal chlorine gas. Extinguish the main part of the fire with pump trucks and with foam. And bring in a cherry picker to evacuate the survivors. #PoliceSquad

4 Aug

Our next stop was a neighbourhood known as Little Italy. #PoliceSquad

1 Aug

It didn't take long for me to see that the game was as crooked as Cooper's smile #PoliceSquad

29 July

I did a complete rundown on the rock that came through your window. No fingerprints, no laundry marks. It's clean. #PoliceSquad #TheLab

29 July

- It's a heck of an efficient weapon, Frank. You have to admire the simplicity of design - Where'd it come from? - It's very interesting. I have a theory about that. #PoliceSquad #TheLab

29 July

Billions of years ago our Earth was a molten mass. But for some reason not understood by scientists, the Earth cooled, forming a crust, a hard igneous shell. What we scientists call... rock. #PoliceSquad #TheLab

27 July

When I arrived at the morgue, my boss had already begun to investigate the physicaI evidence. As was our custom in such cases, we began to talk. #PoliceSquad