PolyMaus

What do you mean the dark lord conquered our kingdom and enslaved the population that's illegal he can't do that

Degenerates like you deserve to be nailed

(ordering at femboy hooters) And the boys, are they force-femmed in-house?

Local woman hired for her amazing AI prompting skills has been let go after it was discovered she wasn't using AI, and was just doing the work herself. The company states they will do everything they can to prevent this fraud in the future.

Ancient Romans were literally like "this is my city-sona he was abandoned by his parents and raised by wolves. When he grew up he killed his own brother to become the leader of his clan. He is cooler and darker than all of your OCs."

Girls don't even flirt anymore they just stare at you like this

If you met Tien in person, would you bring up the eye?

I'm being hunted down because I'm the last poster on Bluesky who doesn't have an opinion on Digger

"This disease only affects one person out of 50,000" Normal person: Oh nice, I only have a 0.00002% chance of having this disease. That's a relief. Me: My God...there are 100,000 people living in my city...that means one person here already has it...I'm probably the second...

"You can't make this up" I could. Skill issue.

Oh you're going to "print" my document to PDF? What's next, are you going to fax it to MP3? Grow up.

I've been playing Palworld lately and I'm shocked at how well developed it is. I figured the positive reviews were *against* Gamefreak and Nintendo instead of being *for* the game. But it really is quite the incredible experience in its own right.

I had a stress dream last night. The best way I can describe it is that I was a character in a visual novel, and I was going through and getting all of my own bad endings and dying horribly over and over again. Apologies to all VN protagonists I have put through this!

The name of the Hoover Dam always pissed me off. Why didn't they just use the original native name for the dam like they did with Denali?

Guy on the bus: (laughing loudly looking at TikToks on his phone) Me: (remembering being bullied for expressing joy too openly and too freely when I was young) Hey, I think everyone would prefer if you stopped doing that

Whenever I'm feeling lonely, I remind myself that I'm not truly alone, since I have the bugs that hang out in the periphery of my vision but disappear once I look directly at them with me all the time.

Oh no! I was trying to write the date but accidentally wrote a 0 first since that's what I've been doing for the past 9 months. But what if...I wrote in the 1 behind the 0 and pretended I wrote it first? Heh heh heh...no one will ever know...

Why would I deceive you? There's no reason for me to do that.

College Radio DJ: And that was Soak Up the Sun by Sheryl Crow. Great song. Me: I agree DJ: It came out in 2002, I wasn't even born then. Me: Please stop talking DJ: That song is 5 years older than I am Me: STOP TALKING

Oh lord the nor'easter done gave my ceiling a tiddy

That's a nice argument. Unfortunately for you, I have already depicted myself as the stoic protagonist in traditional garb with a woman clinging to him and depicted you as the middle-part loser wearing a "justice and peace" graphic t-shirt.

When it's minute 11 and he's still thrusting

Whenever I send a webcomic in the group chat and it bombs, I always send a direct message to the webcomic artist and tell them to never embarrass me like that again.

I've been calling the computer The Domino lately. It makes no sense at all and I have received nothing but scorn for doing so.

I've played a couple of visual novels recently where the plot seems to hinge around a promise the main character made when they were much younger. One of those promises was made when the character was 3 years old. THREE! Anything I've said before the age of 29 should be considered inane rambling.

I put the "pathetic" in "hypothetical shower argument"

I started a new RPG and I'm very glad I'm playing with the Japanese dub since every time a character says "Yatta!" "Sugoi desu" or "Subarashii", the text box reads "Cor blimey innit?" or "Crikey that's mental!" or "Absolutely cracking, that is".

Once I told someone that Kingdom Hearts was for kids and she tied a noose around my neck and hoisted me up by the roof beams until I took it back.

This is just like one of my Japanese animes...

Have you ever felt like you don't wanna go to work anymore Haha me neither, let's let'sss get this bread

Oh my god Chiitan is going to do 9/11 on Trump Tower

People are like "you should try journaling it's so good for your mental health" and then you read the journals of famous people and it's filled with stuff like "I kept a loaded gun pressed to my head for an hour while I watched my children play outside from the third floor"

I will NOT stop picking my nose.

Made the mistake of agreeing to go to an event today that *starts* at 9. At NIGHT. ON SUNDAY. I should be in BED watching YOUTUBE

Jesus, in a groupchat with his 12 most loyal followers: "One of you will mute my reposts"

"am i reddit or am i 4chan" Babe I'm GameFAQs.

Saw Obsession (2025) last night. Final impression: Inde Navarrette is incredible, she completely made the whole movie. Everything else which didn't involve her was mostly mediocre.

People on here will post the truth. "Sluggo had hoes." That is accurate. Facts.

People think being a Bluesky poster means you're tedious but that isn't true. Being a Bluesky poster means you have strong opinions about the various artists of the Nancy comic strip.

Unable to cry at the funeral since you are secretly the one who committed the murder? For a small fee I will chop onions at the service. Let your tears lubricate your new life.

I don't know if I can keep playing mystery visual novels. I'm literally obsessed with the current one I'm playing to the point of neglecting other important things. I need the mystery to be solved!!!!

Gooseworx: I created Jax's character as a cautionary tale. Fanbase: I could literally fix Jax from my favorite show "You Can't Fix Jax".

I don't think we can orgasm our way through the stress this time everyone

Covering my head with a napkin to hide my shame from God while eating a single store brand mini-cupcake.