Tater Nuts!

If watching Teen Witch at 6:00am on a random Wednesday is wrong, I don’t want to be right

I have agreed to go to another show tonight, not knowing it starts at 10:30 PM. I have work tomorrow. I have a sad.

My husband just confessed that his shitty tribal tattoo is actually the shitty Windows NT Server logo

Just found out my nickname at the hair salon is “420” so I guess I’ve been doing branding right

A calm Sunday morning.

I’m about..20ish years late but I finally started Supernatural.

I am also withdrawing from the Ed Sheeran tour.

It’s been a little over 2 months since my mom’s head exploded. I now pop anxiety meds like tic tacs and walk 10k steps a day to stay level. If I have to start paying attention to the news again I will walk into traffic.

Summer was hell

My mothers hospital stay is over $700,000. Fuck you America.

Why are tribal tattoos coming back in the stupidest way possible?

How many Scaramucci’s did Karoline serve?

Eating Indian food and watching New Moon like the elder millennial goblin queen I am

Shout out to Don Bluth for being one of the major architects of my childhood trauma

Every time I’m in the office and someone asks me how things are going I want to slap them

Having a family member with brain damage is FUCKING ROUGH. I was not/am not prepared jfc

BRING BACK INTERMISSIONS!! If I have to sit through a 3 hour movie I should be able to pee without missing anything.

It’s like hands free chain smoking

ICU nurses are angels.

The last 20 hours have been hell

My mother had a brain bleed today. I’m sitting in the ICU trying to be strong for my sisters. Take your blood pressure medication please.

I’m truly surprised that of all the men Taylor picked she chose the one with CTE

I quit smoking cigarettes three months ago and the amount of rage I feel on a daily basis is incalculable

First thing I see when I opened Twitter (yes im gonna deadname that bitch) is a GIANT dick, which perfectly sums up that hellscape now.

My grown ass coworker is walking around the office barefoot like this is his home. Men are the worst.

It’s my first day wearing glasses because I am an old. Do they just get smudged all the time?? Without even touching them???

Summer House is finally over 😭

I just stopped myself from saying something mean to someone. I’m proud of myself but a little sad because it was very funny. Growth.

I’m trying to use the power of positive thinking and I’m going to buy a bottle of champagne for when he dies. I’d rather be prepared than caught off guard.

I couldn’t have graduated high school 25 years ago. That’s just crazy because 2001 was only 11 years ago.

I know I’m PMSing because I just had a daydream about him dying and started crying happy tears

Lol. Lmao even.

My Nana turned 89 yesterday, she’s one the smartest, funniest and cutest people I’ve ever met.

Why does every guy look like Michael Cera now? Every guy in my office looks like this:

Ciara read that bitch for filth and it was deserved #summerhouse

They’re going to have to hide his grave because so many people will vandalize it

Watching Bravo may be the best or worst decision of my life

I don’t like coming into the office where I have to sit by musty ass man children. DEODORANT IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR SOAP AND WATER!!

I am truly blessed to have amazing friends in my life

Idk why I’ve never watched Jujitsu Kaisen before now, but it’s really good

PSA: check your weed today! Sick fucks may be filling it with Halloween candy!

One year ago we rolled a bunch of joints to hand out as favors for our wedding. Less weed this year but more joy

The ONE time I post something good and this sites all fucked up 😑

WHY ISN’T HE DEAD YET??!?? WHATS TAKING SO LONG???

Filed my extension! Suck my dick IRS!