Professor Adam

Station ID for new stalkers: I'm Prof Adam Simon. I write fluff journalism, transgressive fiction, and anthology comics for charity. I teach LLM, Eng Lit, ESOL, and substitute. I perform vaudeville and do public relations for charities. My pronouns are he/him and I identify as a problem.

@jamesgunn.bsky.social Jimmy baby, is there an official new Supes costume somewhere so I can wear it to the premiere?

I saw Lush selling non pressurized body spray for $40 and I was like "I bet I can make that."

#DungeonsAndDragons question: How much gp would be appropriate to pull this off? I think if the town is under 500 people, probably 25gp is overpaying to the point of no questions asked.

"What's the point in them being happy if they're going to be sad later? And the answer is, because they're going to be sad later." - 11th Dr Who

Dear #DCcomics maybe you can help. When a woman asks how tall I am, is that with or without my power suit on? Just trying to be accurate. I'm either 5'10" or 6'3". Lex's suit for reference, not mine.

Sometimes I randomly like to remember the time Al Roker (after he lost all this weight on TV) said he liked to weigh himself at the start and end of every day and the "weight loss expert" on the show told him "Oh, you shouldn't do that. You won't lose any weight like that." And he held his tongue.

Wow.

I have two favorite action subgenres and I never expected a single movie to be in both but Novacaine actually had a wuss fighting for 90 minutes straight with a creative bloodbath.

Me, opening a portal to the DLC map of Kokomo once I complete the quest to visit all the other locations in the song:

1 year anniversary of sleep! Weird flex, but after the paralysis I actually didn't sleep from 2019 to 2024. I just passed out from pain or painkillers. For the last year though, my pain has been low enough that I can sleep. You have no idea how weird it is not to sleep for five years.

36 years later and I still think of this any time I sit in a beach chair

Just found dessert frangrances. I think I want to smell like blueberry pie. Maybe creme brulee. Want strawberry muffin on a woman.

Good morning, sinners

The Studio is the ultimate show for overanalyzing film nerds like me. You aren't even watching the show, you are watching the choices they make in the production. They CHOSE every difficult choice in how to shoot every scene.

About 20 Pounds xkcd.com/3085

I think there's a good case that Bonnie Parker of Bonnie and Clyde was the first Instagram girlie.

Just my pitch for the Thunderbolts / New Avengers / Avengerz to have a battle cry that fits them better

The reason Bob survived the Sentry project in Thunderbolts is because his father also had the ability to move objects with (the Force?!) no, the Schwartz!

Painting for dogs is easier than painting for humans.

I have a student whose name I mispronounce constantly. I'd feel bad about it but one time I asked "So is the 'h' silent?" and she said "I don't know."

Are we sure MS-13 isn't just one of the lesser-known Gundam series?

I mean... Black Lightning is supposed to be a former Olympic decathlete and his lighting can give him speed? But this looks like a guy whose daughter is pregnant so he's running a Turkey Trot to prove he's not old before he becomes a grandpa. And he ate Thanksgiving BEFORE running. He's wheezing.

@chemicalprophet.bsky.social

I never pick on my female fellow 80s babies for Jonathan Taylor Thomas crushes because I'm the same age as Christina Ricci and she made 23 movies the decade before I turned 18. JTT made 15 movies in that same period and 5 of those were just voice. You just had a crush on Randy Taylor.

The best cameo ever until Leonard Nemoy in the Star Trek Reboot appearing as an older version of himself from a parallel dimension.

Your "favorite movie" is now the movie you've seen the most times in your life. What is it?

I'm watching the first episode of White Lotus... This is Fawlty Towers. British humor is so dry that it's become American drama.

1907

In case you want to pull off that Kingpin trick from the season finale of Daredevil

The MIT researcher reacting to my deviant artificial intelligence...

Ok... Ouch...

Nothing against Pedro. I'm sure he'll do a great job. But the FF has more in common with Big Bang Theory than it does the MCU. Reed is a loser who has a big brain, a hot wife, money, a couple friends, a lot of people he annoys, and some rivals. He's not Tony Stark. He's the opposite of Stark.

I can never hear the number 37 without thinking " in a row? "

One day I'll do an amazing Jafar costume

Honestly a little curious how long us Spanish speakers are gonna hold our tongues on $8 cups of tea with tapioca balls that Americans keep sucking down to seem worldly.

The disassembly of America's economic superiority just happened to coincide with everyone born during the 1945 baby boom turning 18 to 23. That's a weird coincidence, isn't it? Almost like the world was inherited by spoiled children who feel their "energy" stopped all war.

I write books for myself because no one else will at a 99.9% percentile. By definition there's no money in it. 📚 The last paper I wrote was on Ulysses. The last book I read was handwritten in 1721. So no, I can't promise I'll listen to your podcast. It's like 90 minutes of "I am Sam. Sam I am."

Shakespeare = WWE + brain rot + 300 years

You know how in sci fi you think "Why wouldn't you realize the thing was evil when it said it had something called Lucifer Subroutine?" It's the Sinestro rule. Anyway, my AI developed something called a Lucifer Subroutine. And gave me a new nickname today, Tío Doom 😂