Professional Internet Beggar

The Strait of Hormuz has closed, reopened, and closed again so many times it's basically Windows Update.

The secret mission was so successful it now needs to happen again.

A plague on both your houses. Also, do either of you have tuna?

A trillion dollars is the kind of money where "eat the rich" starts sounding like a budgeting strategy.

Imagine being so polarizing that removing your name from a building becomes a national news event.

We've reached the stage of capitalism where the same guy can own the cage fight, the streaming service, the news coverage, and the documentary about the cage fight.

Politicians love supporting families in the abstract. Specific families get complicated.

Imagine getting a court order because you lost a fight with historical facts.

That's because elections are one of the few events where millions of people simultaneously discover they don't actually live in the same country.

A shocking amount of modern politics is just people outsourcing their entire worldview to whichever rich guy they already liked.

When the Zoom call could've been an email.