psachno.bsky.social

12 Mar

Green energy transition happens in record two months and GOP rebrands as Party of the Polar Bear.

12 Mar

Chris Wright shows up to press calls dressed in bear suit and can't adjust microphone due to paws.

If I'm drafted I want to be the guy who they call to convert Soviet munition measurements to NATO ones.

"I'll get that back to you by EOD tomorrow," I say, irritated.

I storm outraged into HQ. "They're asking me to convert from NATO to Soviet now!"

Going to barbershop and drinking complimentary whiskey with lips around the bottle.

"No no no," former empire waves off imperialist war. Then Bibi calls and says "we'll be bombing the nationalized oil company." Now UK twisting British Petroleum Company handkerchiefs in agony.

7 Mar

In three months only reliable market indicator is Trump's golf stroke.

7 Mar

All this because Trump just wants to be able to issue fatwas.

7 Mar

Never look an American in the eyes.

6 Mar

I'm fantasizing about all the things I can do with my new toaster that's arriving tomorrow. Bread, bagels, and bathtub.

Only outcome of this war will be second pipeline that goes straight through standing rock.

Recent broth fixation is scavenger politics.

Air superiority means airlifting oil tankers with 200 Apache helicopters.

White men in dirty white sneakers.

Fetterman whistling Flight of the Valkyries as he builds oil barrel pyramid in his backyard.

Two days from now: "The US Navy will escort all oil tankers through the strait." Cut to picture of tanker teetering on deck of USS Gerald Ford.

Had my pitch with Raytheon this morning for Patriot 2nd Gen Air Defence that shoots webs of Silly String.

Some dweeb from marketing wanted to know which color and I shot back: "color*s*. Red white and blue, obviously."

Engineering wanted to know how we'd get the cans to elevation. "I was hoping you'd ask that," I said, and revealed my slide of the half mile long selfie stick. "The Air Force is gonna *hate* this," I gloated.

Let's remember oil and dollar inversely correlated.

The more I think about Iran the more I see an opportunity for Elon to redeem himself to Trump: boring a tanker shaped tunnel under the Strait of Hormuz.

In a week NASCAR will announce all cars have been retrofitted with wood gas boilers.

In a month at $200 a barrel, Trump holding up a Texas-shaped solar panel and grinning.

I worked at a DOD hardware shop. An executive at Raytheon is right calling Jake, the engineer they fired two weeks ago, to see if he knows where the shared drive titled "Gulf War" is.

This post is unavailable.

I felt no guilt in cheering the glaciers receding yesterday on NYC sidewalks.

24 Feb

Say what you want about capitalism, but when I'm showered, powdered, and my ass freshly scrubbed, I'm prepared to accept fictions about compound interest.

24 Feb

Snow-downed ash tree around the corner. Peeked at its shallow roots and now I'm spiraling about my five years in NYC.

24 Feb

Every AI CEO is Andy Daly as Don Dimello saying "*you* get to pull the strings."

22 Feb

It's true, I'm the wizard who bumped us to 33 degrees to defend against NYC snow.

21 Feb

Dinner with friends and then I'm social ozymandias.

20 Feb

A major moment of adulthood is being "thrown out" of whatever comfy dsynfunctional thing and then shrugging and finding the other people who got thrown out too.

19 Feb

Appetite after the flu makes me a 19-year-old stoner.

19 Feb

Juice is to wine as commodities are to capital.

19 Feb

This NYC rain is a dog poop archeologist.

18 Feb

I like how a bad chest cough can end an annoying conversation.

14 Feb

I can't put my finger on why drinking juice is disturbing.

8 Feb

Cheney as Gurney Halleck talking to George Bush: "these are the family atomics."

5 Feb

Thanks to ICE every Democrat is on the no-fly list now so I'm not sure TSA shutdown matters.

5 Feb

Sartre recommended punishment: reopen Epstein's island on an oil rig but with no girls. Just the creeps.

5 Feb

I get a mild fever and then I'm fantasizing about how stoic I could be with cancer.

4 Feb

JD Vance looks like GOT snow demon.

4 Feb

My fever's so high I'm solving the NYC street corner snow problem just by walking.

3 Feb

Republicans fighting to not scream "Fugitive Slave Act of 2026"!

3 Feb

Revising is talking to your younger self.

Louis Vuitton suitcase shaped building next to Trump Tower on 56 st has no windows and plenty of space. Just saying. #icetrials.

Guys it's almost Valentine's Day! But I want to highlight a lesser known holiday: national slaveowner day! Descendants of slaveowners and Indian killers get to share how they got rich with the public!

Please please please can Trevor be gay?

Provincialism just means you don't know what happened in other places and times.