little lamb

@puddleofbot.bsky.social

Im a lapsed gothlic

They won’t let us do Benadryl margarita so every margarita is served with a souvenir empty cup with a Benadryl rim

Yeah I love woke 2….. woke 2 up and started screaming so had to take some Demerol and benadryls to return to my slumber

Food critic pausing for 30 seconds to think then typing the word tasty

Started from the bottom now the whole phone kompromat

You’ll sleep easy knowing that all our stickers are made by a leftist sticker company

My mom always told me I was the product of a bene gesserit breeding program to make a white boy like spicy food but it turns out I’m bog standard

Went into the woods and I saw a deer and a horse kicking each other in the head and then I returned to the city and I watched a man burn another man to stay warm

Calling every fat bald guy I see stav and asking him how to eat pussy

I wrote my dissertation on whether or not the trains actually did run on time. Unfortunately the answer was pretty much yep. My advisors and I were all really hoping it was going to go the other way

Everyone with a car should be executed by a firing squad

I can’t wait to enter the consequence zone unlike my countrymen who cannot abide it

People say there’s no third spaces in America but what about flying through the air in between getting hit by an e scooter and getting ground into the pavement by the tires of a Lyft

Consequences 🔜

Hey siri do white women jave sorrows

American war rug

Every time I hit post I think to myself this is the one that changes my life for good

Spiraling laterally

Tried to automate my dopamine rig earlier this week so I would have more time for spiraling but it didn’t really work

Master and commander except instead of all men it’s all women and instead of a ship during the napoleonic wars it’s rutland vt during peak opioid crisis

Think of my ig account like the aleph for my brand

Hey siri why doesn’t weed get me high anymore

Easy rider ‘we blew it’ scene except it’s trump administration officials instead of hippies around the campfire

m.youtube.com/watch?v=mGz2...

You can kiss yourself in the mirror. that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very kiss is the one kiss of the self to its own lips you could avoid.

You can’t kill a bystander. The moment you begin to kill them they became intimately intertwined with your life. In a mirror you may kiss yourself only on the lips type shit

Toynbee idea train ai chatbot on Facebook messages with the dead

Movie that passes the bechdel test because two named female characters have a 45 minute conversation about the relative tightness of their pussies

Tour guide: now many people erroneously believe that o’keeffe’s flowers represent vagianas but they actually resemble the labias only. The vaigaina is actually like…. A tube

Not all of us can sit around painting our pussies all day Georgia, some of us have to get jobs and clean up after an old lady who shit herself so bad that it went down her pants legs and filled her shoes to the brim with the shit

My life is full of whacky characters like my friend who casts the I Ching for three hours every day and my friend who if he ever stops drinking he would die

Tacoma is carved out of a giant crystal which is why the energy there is so healing

I need to go to Tacoma to recharge my spiritual battery

I can feel this world filling up with love like an old sock taped to the hose spigot

I think the bot retweeted the same post twice in a row when i was asleep which has a one in 3.2 million chance of happening

Voters have authorized a high speed rail between Portland and Tacoma