Pulsar

Speaking of AI, I'm also continually amazed at how AI can't actually automate basic tasks in my (professional) job. e.g: syncing clips into a multicam using audio. I've never gotten premiere to do this successfully. Sounds like the perfect use for AI yeah? Nah, that doesn't exist.

Premiere's algorithmic audio syncing is ridiculously slow and I've never actually gotten it to work. But that's okay because I can do it by hand in like 3 minutes. So this should be a shoe-in for AI, I'd think? But apparently nobody has applied that ""amazing"" technology to this basic problem.

I keep hearing how AI is getting better all the time. And if you think it's still bad you're way behind. So I tried Adobe's AI denoiser on some wedding photos. It did an ABYSMALLY bad job. It's so bad it feels like it's using a model from 2+ years ago. I'm shocked that this is a shipped feature

I have to admit, I tried it expecting to be somewhat impressed. I know gen AI has been getting better, yet I still don't want to use it. But if it's as good as everyone says, maybe this denoising will be a game changer from what we had before. Nope. It's trash.

I haven't talked about my family much lately, but with these more recent examples, you can probably see why I prefer being a bird on the internet. 😆

Oh I've got one more story from last night! I forgot to mention it because I didn't jot it down in my phone. But I didn't think to write it down because it's been an ongoing saga for a couple of years now. It's also less funny and more frustrating for me, which means it might be hilarious for you.

So I told him step one is to write the spec script. Pick a direction for the story, write it. It has to be in proper screenplay format. Even better if you write the entire first season because it'll show you're serious about the idea. (Again, knowing he absolutely will not do this.)

I’m just going to keep saying this from now on because it at least seems to end the conversation. Can't help you if you don't have a script! That's step one! But he’s an idea guy, you know. So he told me he’s going to look for someone now to help him write the script. Good luck, buddy.

So last night I finally came up with an analogy to get him off my back about it. I said “this is like asking a carpenter to do your plumbing. They both work in construction, but they’re two completely different jobs. The video production work I do is a completely different thing from Hollywood"

It didn't work. If anything it convinced him even more that I must be holding out on him. It didn’t help when he said “I don’t even know who to talk to about my idea!” and I said “me either”. Because I don’t. And he said (paraphrasing) “Man, you have ALL KINDS OF friends, I know you do!”

Every time I ask if he’s written a script (knowing full well he hasn’t b/c we’ve been having this convo for 3+ years now.) He says he hasn’t because it could go different directions! It could be like [TV show]. Or it could by like [broadway play]. I dunno man, it’s your story; pick one.

Anyway, no matter what I say, he absolutely will not believe me when I tell him I don’t know people who know people who can get his TV show made. “Come on man, you gotta know people!” As if editing the financial reports of fortune 500 companies has me that sweet in with Guillermo del Toro.

My cousin’s husband is absolutely convinced that because I work in media production and do video editing professionally, that I have a lot of contacts in Hollywood. You see, he’s come up with an idea for a TV show.

I don’t find it to be a particularly compelling idea but I’m not the target audience. And often these things are more about the execution than the idea itself. However, he also hasn’t written a script, doesn't have any characters but the main one, hasn’t figured out which way he wants to go with it.

(I'll disclaim this by saying—again—this is a true story. But this version is slightly paraphrased because I've had several conversations with him about the topic at this point, so I'm probably mixing up a few of them. But the gist is this.)

At the wedding today, the people getting married were very much not 'murica types. So my crazier family members were mostly on their best behavior. That said, there were a couple of stories I gotta tell...

His eyes got wide and he said “I NEVER thought of that!” And he said he'd now only buy silver coins from before the mid 1940s. So if you hear from any of your crazy family members how pre-atomic-bomb silver is the only good kind to buy, that’s my fault.

Finally—the dessert table had a big sign on it that said “desserts will be served after the cake cutting”. My aunt ignored the sign and brought a huge plate of brownies and cookies back to our table before we even started the meal.

My uncle talked to me about how he’s buying a particular kind of silver, which he called “isotope 107” (??) Because—and I SWEAR I am not making this up—it is being used in a device that will allow our consciousness to communicate with the supernatural realm. So the price will skyrocket soon

I decided to play a long and told him, you’re going to need silver from before 1944. He asked why. I said because it’s pre atomic-age. Once they started testing atomic weapons all the silver in the world became contaminated with radioactive isotopes. But silver minted before that would be safe.

At the wedding today, I had four or five people come up and tell me they had no idea I was such a good dancer. Readers, I am not a particularly good dancer. 😂 I think this is a clear-cut case of "in the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king"

Oh my god, I found the document with all the #murica tweets in it! There are five pages! I'd forgotten there were so many. I'm reading them now and they're so bizarre. I would say funny? But they'd be a lot funnier if I didn't know how real and earnest these people were.

I need to figure out a way to post them. Maybe in a PDF? I don't want to just post them in one long tweet chain because there are just too many.

Ho boy, does anyone remember the #murica tweets I used to post way back on Twitter, with all the completely insane things my parents and extended family would say? I just got back from a reunion tonight and it was bonkers. Some highlights: (I swear these are all actual things that were said)

My uncle mentions he’s raising Rabbits for meat. A bunch of people (including me) say we’ve never had rabbit. He goes, “Oh well wait right there!”. He goes into the house and returns with a *tub of rabbit meat* he had prepared. I tried some. It was fine. I wouldn't go out of my way to eat it again.

I kind of stopped doing these because reunions and get-togethers have become less common as everyone has gotten older. But we had one tonight because the whole extended family is in town for a wedding. It turns out everyone in my family is still as crazy as ever. If anything, they're even crazier.

Soon nobody will be permitted to travel into cities to buy food. Mom: “You’ll be able to live and buy food out here where we are. But we won’t be allowed into Philly.” Uncle: “Absolutely right”

Other uncle: “Well I just want to say, I’m gonna resist!” Everyone else around the fire pit: “Hell yeah! Yeah me too! We all are!” They all vote Republican by the way, which is resisting. Me standing there holding a beer, thinking, “Yep my whole family is still completely fucking insane”

Similarly the Ark of the Covenant is apparently due to be unearthed in Jerusalem “any day now”. There was a big announcement about an important archeological find. (In Jerusalem? What are the chances?) My Uncle: "It has to be the AotC. What else could it be?"

When Jesus was crucified, his blood dripped down into the rock and entered the Ark of the Covenant which was being stored under the hill was crucified on. This helped give him the spiritual power he needed to resurrect (??? I don’t know either. I grew up with these ppl but this is a new one for me)

Noah’s Ark has been found. Again. It seems nobody noticed that it has been “found” like ten times in their lifetime already and it has always amounted to nothing.

Aw man, Pillowfort is shutting down. The best social media site I ever used. It's a shame nobody else ever used it. I think the security flaw they had where they shut down the site for a month completely killed any momentum it might have had and it never recovered. RIP

Scrolling back through my media tab is like: What the fuck What the fuck! What the fuck??? Aw, that's so pretty WHAT the FUCK

Replying to @pulsarbird.bsky.social

OC is @farnix.bsky.social

Replying to @pulsarbird.bsky.social

Giga is @icyhotdragonthot.multicock.club

Replying to @pulsarbird.bsky.social

Bill is @billydawg.bsky.social

Aw man, I literally just quoted Richard Riehle in Office Space this weekend when I was hanging out with friends. ("I have people skills! What the hell is wrong with you people!?") RIP :C

@gumbyscreens.bsky.social

LRT: that time Gumby and Pokey swapped half their bodies and Gumby turned into a centaur made me feel funny as a kid

Pulsar reposted

Gumby Screens

Okay AI didn't get turned on (sort of). Instead there's an entirely new setting called "priority notification" that is now enabled by default. It lets AI read your notifications so it can decide what is a priority. So it's spyware and also doesn't work. Thanks, Apple. Thapple.

Pulsar@pulsarbird.bsky.social

Cool, my iPhone updated and turned Apple Intelligence back on. Thanks for not respecting my settings, appreciate that. Anyway it just told me that a missed call from a "suspected spam" number was a priority notification. So if you were wondering whether AI is any good now the answer is no.