bellum omnium contra omnes

how does one react to being told they're someone's best & only friend? don't get me wrong, the friendship itself is reciprocal, but maybe not at best friend status in this direction. close, yes, but relatively new only since last semester.

obviously i'm gonna continue being his friend & being there for him. i'm going to continue being there for his ex whom i met in the same class, even though the end of their short, intense relationship was messy & she started calling him a liar & manipulator. which i don't believe at all.

today is my tms eval appointment. big thanks to @rothaiocht.bsky.social whose posts about tms got me to get off my ass & actually talk to my psych to get the ball rolling down the road. super excited for the idea that anything could lessen my ocd, bonus for tinnitus, & chronic pain.

getting the expensive wahl cordless peanut trimmer has been a really good move in my one million hair trimming tools in search of the one that will let me maintain my bald shave & chosen beard style at any given time. doesn't do much for the bald shave, i have to get less lazy to keep that up.

& that's bad. like, i'm neutral on the subject of body hair in general for myself, but once it starts to pull or snag on fabric from clothing, that's game over, i'm going to trim it down as much as i can. & when i do that, that's everything except upper chest, arm hair, & back hair i can't reach.

getting the expensive wahl cordless peanut trimmer has been a really good move in my one million hair trimming tools in search of the one that will let me maintain my bald shave & chosen beard style at any given time. doesn't do much for the bald shave, i have to get less lazy to keep that up.

but it does a very good job at a shave/trim on my face that looks like i shaved about ten hours ago, which is good enough with the goatee. i'll let the sides grow out a few days or a week, because maintenance isn't my strong suit. & then the peanut trimmer handles it zero issue, easy peasy.

oh, on another note, saturday caregiver and i cleaned the kitchen so i can maybe be able to cook again! i haven't been able to cook in a long time it feels like because the only piece of counter space was being taken up for storage, & i couldn't get to the stove for the piles of bags & miscellany.

we have remedied this & i plan to cook probably monday at the very latest, since tomorrow i eat dinner at the rehab where my meeting is.

i put my cashapp link in my profile. #Disabled #HelpFolksLive2026 #HelpSky #MutualAid #MutualAidNeeded #MutualAidRequest #TransCrowdFund i don't have the energy to make a big mutual aid post tonight, but i had to ask my caregiver for $50 in order to buy paper towels & dish soap earlier.

huh, looks like the current generation of gpd win max 2 isn't even available in this configuration. boo.

i put my cashapp link in my profile. #Disabled #HelpFolksLive2026 #HelpSky #MutualAid #MutualAidNeeded #MutualAidRequest #TransCrowdFund i don't have the energy to make a big mutual aid post tonight, but i had to ask my caregiver for $50 in order to buy paper towels & dish soap earlier.

in the middle of all of this, my laptop is dying, & i know if i get whatever bottom of the barrel budget one instead of replacing with at least equivalent i will hate myself for the duration of having that computer. the few games i play are lifelines to my sanity. my current laptop has 64gb ram.

i put my cashapp link in my profile. #Disabled #HelpFolksLive2026 #HelpSky #MutualAid #MutualAidNeeded #MutualAidRequest #TransCrowdFund i don't have the energy to make a big mutual aid post tonight, but i had to ask my caregiver for $50 in order to buy paper towels & dish soap earlier.

i have all the documents gathered for the medi-cal bullshit with the enhanced invasiveness so that they can "catch" everyone on medicaid programs who "is ineligible", so i guess i'm doing that monday. i was supposed to go down to lacc campus & deal with my student loan application.

maps & gps are great. i love not getting lost, & being able to see traffic on the freeway so that you can avoid it. but there are cautionary elements & i wish everyone would stop worshipping the map apps for a little bit & develop some independence.

& yes, i get that the original post was about positives, & i consider cell phones & especially map apps a net positive. i just think that they come with some consequences that most people don't think about; the lack of critical thinking about navigation planning is a huge loss.

maps & gps are great. i love not getting lost, & being able to see traffic on the freeway so that you can avoid it. but there are cautionary elements & i wish everyone would stop worshipping the map apps for a little bit & develop some independence.

(i have independently verified with former coworkers that this isn't true.) all of the creativity, critical thinking skills, & independence that job fostered in me are now gone in the new generation of drivers, subservient to a soulless machine that doesn't actually teach them anything.

maps & gps are great. i love not getting lost, & being able to see traffic on the freeway so that you can avoid it. but there are cautionary elements & i wish everyone would stop worshipping the map apps for a little bit & develop some independence.

had to radio in a few times when i got lost to a degree i couldn't figure it out myself, which was embarrassing, but when early map apps were still sending people the wrong way down one way streets, i never sat in traffic, got from a to b with time to spare, & generally it was a low-stress job.

maps & gps are great. i love not getting lost, & being able to see traffic on the freeway so that you can avoid it. but there are cautionary elements & i wish everyone would stop worshipping the map apps for a little bit & develop some independence.

doing the worksheets from this workbook with my addiction therapist, but missing the page that explains the first one. luckily i have the kindle version and that kindle app on my phone.

but my phone won't let me complete the questionnaire they make everyone complete before appointments, even now that i finally got it to load. leaving it open so i can show my therapist why it's not fine. & i don't have my password to do it on their tablets the office provides.

i have three pages of references for eight pages of paper. why do i do this to myself when i could have written a paper with maybe one or two references & still gotten full marks because in fact it's an introductory class? which is a rhetorical question.

i do it because i feel like turning in work that didn't challenge me in one form or another is academically dishonest & cheating myself of the opportunity to receive feedback which can then improve my writing & academic skills, should one of my professors ever give me real feedback.

professor hasn't responded to my canvas message about the "go to a new to you aa meeting" assignment, & what that is entirely impossible for me to do right now due to accessibility reasons.