Reality Dysfunction

So like the 90's were pretty chill

String he's actually supposed to eat is really taxing his brain cell

So it goes

The words "felony" and "feline" both come from Old French felonie, meaning "wickedness" or "evil deed," which derives from fellon (an "evildoer") is a cool fact that I just made up

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil

Monty just wants you to know that she doesn't approve

When you make to heaven John Candy gives you a really big hug

Unfortunately Spike has been lost at sea

I feel like I just paid rent a couple weeks ago and they're now expecting me to pay rent again in a couple weeks??

How did I become my boss's mom??

When you're really good at Sunday

I'm starting to think these Americans are acting a little goofy

Can everyone move their ears in a way that makes crunching sound inside, or is that just me?

I swear she's purring in this picture

I believe we should enact heavy tarrifs against the US for all of the media products I torrent anyway.

Someone got into the bag of catnip mice last night. I don't like to just throw out accusations but...

Here be dragons

My cat, who is an indoor cat, is screaming to be let outside as I leave for work. It's -8 outside. I don't have the energy to explain the situation to him.

When I was a teenage barrister I brought my grandfather a pound of fancy coffee, and he hid it so nobody would use any Christmas morning. Once he turned around in the middle of a 5 hour car trip to come back for cheese he left in my parents' fridge. I miss that man so much.

I'm so stressed, why can't I just have a tiny bit of time for myself over holidays. Just a teeny bit of me time? *monkey paw closes a finger. A child coughs in my direction*

Everything is stupid and I hate it.

Full moon over Cherono

If mammoths were still around we would make fun of elephants for being bald mammoths.

Me every winter when I finally break down and start wearing a parka instead of the lightest jacket imaginable: Bwahaha fuck you entropy, you worthless cosmic bitch

Everyone thinks they're a badass until they've taken slightly more shroomz than they should and an aggressive cable service sales person nocks on the door.

Facebook decided to remind me it was a year ago that I lost my best little buddy..

Fell asleep in front of the TV and woke up to my roommate staring diwn at me

Just roasted two stuffed chickens ass to ass because why not?

Turns out I don't prefer audiobooks as much as I just needed glasses

#cats being bros

He can't see her but he knows she's watching him

Seeing a lot of cute cat pictures around here. So instead here's my scary cat