Peter Smith

As a retired maths teacher I've always been convinced maths teaching in schools should contain far more arithmetic.

LEAD the voters don't just follow. Some in Labour are frightened of their own friggin' shadow.

Other than being incredibly uncomfortable and making the wearer look like a tosser, it's great.

"Flavio has given up" - A Lancia driver phoning the RAC.

The youngest voter in the 2016 EU referendum is almost 30. How long does the bloody mandate last?

Not a Trekkie but every member of the cast of Star Trek seemed or seems to be a terrific person. Wonder if being involved in an optimistic, forward looking and positive programme was a factor.

Werther's Originals were on special offer at Home Bargains.

Me perusing Autotrader "I've seen a suitable car for sale in Scarborough" "What is it?" "A popular resort on the North Yorkshire coast" Still got it.

The AGM of the South Leeds branch of the Bruno Fernandes Fan Club has around the same attendance. #lufc

Be fair. The Home Counties Over 70 Carpet Bowls Championship was taking place at the same time. You can't be in two places at once.

Training at #lufc under Bielsa was more like unarmed combat but it paid dividends on the pitch. Carrick has escaped criticism but as Gary Player observed - the harder I train the luckier I get

Attended a Tony Benn speech and he said the main function of a government was to make people feel safe. Farage is doing the opposite. The UK ISN'T broken. Farage needs to attend, say, a Park Run and see decent people getting on with their lives, not obsessing that others are having a better time.

Farage is charmless and thin skinned. Whatever political stardust he once had has long gone. Burnham is playing his EU hand brilliantly. Closer and closer cooperation with our friends across the Channel is inevitable.

The photo manages to capture about 75% of Sunak's back garden.

One law Reform definitely won't scrap is the relaxation of pub opening hours. How else will they come up with policy if they're kicked out of pubs at 10.30pm?

A Level Stats students used to do a project. I recall one was to see any correlation between the colour of a car and the amount of bird shit it attracted. Useful in Whitby. A good one now would be to investigate the correlation between make of car and stopping at Zebra crossings, BMWs in particular.

Does anyone buy fuel in gallons or describe temperature in °F these days? Other than Reform members, obviously.

Imperial units? In 2026? Jenrick is several Barleycorns short of a Cubit.

Caller on 5Live phone in about #mufc says Man Utd aren't a likeable team. There's one United across the Pennines who are VERY likeable. #lufc

David Armstrong was at least as good a player as Steve McMahon IMHO. Should have won far more England caps. Was a lovely fella by all accounts, too. #Boro

53 years ago today I queued overnight outside King's Hall, Belle Vue in Manchester for tickets for The Who's UK tour. Worth every bitterly cold minute.

If there was a Venn Diagram of those who criticised the government advice on stockpiling, were anti vax and resisted compulsory seat belts and crash helmets it would be a circle. Not every bit of government action or advice is designed to subjugate.

Don't get the resistance to stocking up advice. Those in rural and semi rural areas experience regular power cuts. It's a regular occurrence. It makes sense to be prepared. In our experience, losing electricity is child's play compared to being without water.

Prince William, rightly, praises the wonderful Kevin Sinfield. It would be nice if he and his dad could support the RNLI and visit the volunteers in Portsmouth, too. #BBCBreakfast

I hope Donald Trump's Tena Men is on securely when he gets up this morning. He's going to need its extra absorbency when he sees the Brazil and Serbia election results.

Darker than the soul of Robert Jenrick here in North Yorkshire this morning. The clock change seems to have had bugger all effect.

Great news from Brazil to wake up to. Go Lula. Trump and Netanyahu next would be nice.

Good grief. If the BBC is cutting You and Yours and Free Thinking it should end #606 phone in. If the show improved it would still be moronic.

Throw a stick into the Stretford End and it will hit at least 5 people who will make more coherent points than the #mufc fans on #606. At least some of them will have Manchester accents.

Aaronson is so lightweight. I'm surprised he hasn't been blown away and last seen near the Testos Roundabout #SUNLEE #lufc

Just heard Hunt on the radio saying Labour needs to "put the economics before the politics" in the Budget. The bloke who created an unaffordable cut in National Insurance prior to the election, which he knew the Tories would lose. Utter charlatan.

First "We really should win this one" of the season. Into 'em #lufc

Jim Ratcliffe has reacted to Man United's dismal form by sacking three bar staff, two security guards and an assistant in the ticket office. #MUNSOU

Manchester United need someone with the determination, creativity and never say die attitude of Mason Mount's agent. #MUNBOU

Luke O'Nien will stamp on both of DCL's feet within the first 5 minutes. #lufc #SUNLEE

For the nth time. Gary Neville should be nowhere near the commentary box for a Man Utd game. #MUNBOU

The presenter of #r4today opines.

Recalling a game at Elland Road in gale force winds. Thought it was about 5 years ago. Turns out the game, against Ipswich, was in 2011. Time is a jet plane - it moves too fast. #lufc

The reinvention of Jeremy Hunt as a sage and elder statesman overlooks his role as a participant in the creation of the current shitshow. #BBCLauraK

The Mail on Sunday rowing back its years long trashing of Megham Markle would impress even Steve Redgrave.

Meghan, after reading Sarah Vine's column. It must be a huge relief and comfort to have the sympathy of Ms Vine.

I met John Peel at the Le Mans 24 hour race in 1979. More hot celebrity gossip, as we get it...

Melania Trump taking credit for brokering a peace deal in Oleshsky days after The Pope contacted Putin with an identical plan.

Recalling the episode of The Office with the manager of Swindon branch, whose staff adore him. Trump is David Brent and Obama is the manager of the Swindon branch. Obama is loved, both privately and by the public. Trump ain't.

Thank God we no longer drink Maxwell House, Birds or, worst of all, Camp Coffee.

When Mike Penders sees the goal again he'll feel Needles and Pins. #CHETOT

How much is that Doku in the window?

George Graham on Sky Sports looking quite frail. Thought he was excellent at #lufc. Without him and Nigel Martyn, we'd have been relegated in 1997.

If I couldn't cope without swearing at the top of my voice when my sister, nephew and neice paid a visit an Alexa+ wouldn't be the answer. A course of psychoanalysis is probably more appropriate.

If there was a rank order of improvements, smoking restrictions would be near the top. Smoking was everywhere - in pubs, public transport, workplaces, doctors smoked on duty, TV presenters lighted up on election specials..