Rachel Nel

Rachel Nel

@redsaid1.bsky.social

South African inventor of the limesick (an ill-composed limerick) and writer of tiny tales of exactly 140-characters long for #vss365. Every doggo is a friend.

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Both the comforting and cringey condolences will taper off. Soon, everyone will cross the road when I approach, as if tragedy is contagious. #vss365 #vss #taper

I heard my calling in Bitches Brew. Although miles from Miles, I am a gigging muso. First chair trumpet! Handel on my lips. Jazz in my soul. #vss365 #vss #miles

It's not nerves; it's doubt. But it's too late, so she keeps going towards the biggest mistake of her life standing at the end of the aisle. #vss365 #vss #doubt

While out of town, he swiped and had no doubt that he'd found Miss Right. "Not long distance!" she lamented. Tomorrow, she'll be his Missus. #vss365 #vss #doubt

We’re here to meet my sister’s new guy. My latest beau couldn’t make it. His prior commitment dawns on me when he walks in holding her hand. #vss365 #vss #commitment

Ignoring my pleas, he skips the fueling station. Ten miles on, the car sputters and dies on the railway track, a train barreling towards us. #vss365 #vss #fueling

I'm so nervous, I can barely breathe. My eyes are downcast, but I can feel them sizing me up, deciding if I'll be a good wife for their son. #vss365 #vss #nervous

He finds his passion in a pair of secondhand Nike sneakers. Coach keeps him benched. His stubbornness unmatched, he keeps showing up anyway. #vss365 #vss #sneakers

Sometimes she forgot that she didn't resemble other people anymore, until unexpected reminders reflected in the shocked stares of strangers. #vss365 #vss #unexpected

"What's your expertise?" the interviewer asks. "Endings." "Why do you want to be a telemarketer?" "I'm stuck in a dead-end job," Death says. #vss365 #vss #dead

I salute my father's flag-draped casket. When the officer pins a medal for bravery to my shirt, I ask: "Is it my daddy's?" "No, son. Yours." #vss365 #vss #bravery

They call each other “husband” and “wife”. By repeating it, they are hoping that it will sound believable when immigration arrives to check. #vss365 #vss #sound

A Baptist minister in the Mississippi Delta taught three guitar chords to a boy. Later, in Memphis, that boy became B.B., King of the Blues. #vss365 #vss #delta

As the queue moves towards customs, I try to calm my nerves by feigning boredom. Surely no one will suspect a teenage girl of being a mule. #vss365 #vss #calm

The pianist keeps the audience spellbound. Afterwards, he bows, hands behind his back, so that no one can see them quake due to Parkinson's. #vss365 #vss #quake

The new arrivals dock. Birds alight on the island. Seagulls, not guards, stand sentry at the cell house door as the Birdman enters Alcatraz. #vss365 #vss #island

The bully dubs me Cyclops due to my post-op eye patch. "I'm a pirate!" I say. It takes the wind from his sails to be stood up to by a girl. #vss365 #vss #sail

At the harbour, the men lewdly ask for my hourly rate. Upon returning to the dock, they watch silently as I unload the day's biggest catch. #vss365 #vss #harbour

The last cloud vanished. The animals left. When a naked mole rat went by, Noah realised that he'd mistakenly picked a pair of first cousins. #vss365 #vss #cloud

She wedded an old, rich man with no kin. After his death, she learned that he'd made no bequest to her. Instead, his sole heir was his cat. #vss365 #vss #bequest

"What do we do with heads of state who are so evil, not even the oceans will purify them?" we ask. "Stop voting for them," the sage replies. #vss365 #vss #purify

Every payday, our hunger is the worst. We barricade our doors and wait. Like gathering storm clouds, Dad's drunken return home looms large. #vss365 #vss #hunger

Spurred on by a primordial desire, I embark onto ships, planes and trains to travel beyond the horizon, hoping to both find and lose myself. #vss365 #vss #embark

Before I took the helm, Mom taught me about Crux and Polaris. After surviving stormy seas, like mariners of yore, I let them guide me home. #vss365 #vss #stormy

From afar, some call it a "conflict". But for us dodging mortars, bombs and soldiers shooting civilians for fun, it feels like being erased. #vss365 #vss #conflict

"You are big boned, not fat," her mom said. Years on, archaeologists dig up her remains and marvel. Not even in death has she become dainty. #vss365 #vss #marvel

Her russet hair, golden skin and brown eyes are autumnal. Yet she radiates summery warmth. And even in mid-winter, she's a breath of spring. #vss365 #vss #autumnal

West, North and South boast about their sunsets and auroras. "Why are you so sanguine?" they ask East. "For I get to bestow every new day." #vss365 #vss #sanguine

Ashamed that he finds his six-year-old's schoolwork too esoteric to grasp, he hides his illiteracy by pretending to be too busy to help her. #vss365 #vss #esoteric

In person she struggles to communicate: stuttering, stammering, her voice too high pitched. But on paper, her eloquence renders others mute. #vss365 #vss #eloquence

It must be intuition. Before I can even say the words: "I'm afraid I have bad news," they're already crumpling onto the waiting room floor. #vss365 #vss #intuition

On moonlit nights, she walks along the beach and watches the moonglade, wishing it were a real path that would allow her to cross the ocean. #vss365 #vss #moonglade

"The Ten Commandments are gone." "What do you mean? Did you break the tablets again, Moses?" "No, I accidentally rewrote it on palimpsests." #vss365 #vss #palimpsest

"He had green eyes. A scar," the victim says. Under her adroit hands, the composite sketch artist is shocked to see her own husband appear. #vss365 #vss #adroit

Way past bedtime, a silhouette appears in the doorway. Tonight he's in for two surprises. I'm not whom he has come for. And I have a knife. #vss365 #vss #silhouette

To try and retain our dewy complexions, we drink elixir from the fountain of youth. Unaware that Father Time has spiked it as a little joke. #vss365 #vss #elixir

Some say she's eccentric. Others call her mad. But they're unaware of how wading into the lake in the depths of winter can heal and console. #vss365 #vss #console

"According to family lore, our great-grandpa eloped with a circus gal." "Then why aren't we flexible?" my sister asks while I wax our chins. #vss365 #vss #wax

Upon our first encounter, we knew we'd walk down the aisle. And now, years later, I also fit her daughter like a glove when she tries me on. #vss365 #vss #glove

"How can you be so sure that she killed her husband?" I ask my fellow detective. "Because after she wept into the tissue, it was still dry." #vss365 #vss #tissue

As he puts a pillow under her head, their lips touch by accident. Her eyes flutter open. "My prince!" "No! I'm the butler, Sleeping Beauty." #vss365 #vss #pillow

Momma was so law abiding, she never even broke the speed limit. After her death, we find a poster of Mom in her youth, wanted in all states. #vss365 #vss #poster

With a sponge and brush I create a fantasy version of myself. When I add lipstick, my son enters. "Why are you looking like a mommy, Daddy?" #vss365 #vss #sponge

I am bored, so I use a razor to shave my head. Afterwards, I feel light and free. Until he yells from below: "Rapunzel, let down your hair!" #vss365 #vss #razor

I see on TV as they comb the city for me, and as my parents beg for my safe return. But I've already been saved by him and his other brides. #vss365 #vss #comb

I long for the days when we could control most of the sounds in here. Like our curated playlists. Why does a newborn not come with a remote? #vss365 #vss #remote

I undo even the rational. Some push me aside to get on with it. But I cling like a shadow. I take many shapes, but have only one name: fear. #vss365 #vss #cling

News about the hunted serial killer terrifies her. From the garden, he looks through her window and sees her fear at the sight of him on TV. #vss365 #vss #garden

While I'm looking at the amulets and charms, the shopkeeper hands me a necklace. "To ward off evil," she says and glares at my new husband. #vss365 #vss #evil

I furtively pop a grape into my parched mouth. The farmer yells at us to toil faster. My unborn child kicks upon hearing his father's voice. #vss365 #vss #toil