Reviewed2Death

Not enough people send "I hope this email finds you well" to the clitoris and it shows.

Enrico Pucci is 102% Black with 100% white parents. Some may call that bizarre but it's just JoJo's baby.

Did my civic duty and voted early. Now I gotta unplug from all the hopium and "things are looking up!" shit. Too easy to fall into an echo chamber, make assumptions and get inflated hopes. Whatever happens, happens.

Somewhere out there is a trans man with a biblical affirmation name. We call their morning routine the binding of Isaac.

Down with gas, up with Pingas.

That new Resident Evil movie is the best episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog I've seen in years.

It's time to balance the ultra WOKE race-swap dynamic by turning a treasured BLACK character into a WHITE version. Make Uncle Ruckus a white man who hates every white person he meets and curses his re-revitiligo skin condition. "Hillbillies should stay in the woods, with the rest of the animals."

*Man who only half-watches the news, trying to make water cooler conversation* "Crazy how much of the economy is dependent on Vin Diesel's movies, huh?"

My biggest conspiracy theory is that there are serial killers that dress as Santa Claus, but the media doesn't cover them because it would damage the Christmas shopping season. No one's bottom line is being affected by an evil clown, but you make the public afraid of Santa? The economy collapses.

Sharting keeps you humble

I understand why videos need a catchy hook but some of this stuff is straight up gaslighting. Just saw a short titled, "The Terminator didn't kill the T-1000." Looked inside and it said the T-1000 "malfunctioned" after being blasted to pieces... I've seen barbers that split fewer hairs.

Peak.

At the risk of calling evil into the world, it's interesting that vaccine denial never seems to reach rabies vaccines. We're letting polio and measles and potentially smallpox come back, but no one denies that rabies vaccines are necessary/work. Maybe it's cause of all the zombie media we consume.

Spending the afternoon at the library writing video scripts. Nothing else like it.

Bobby Hill and Connie Souphanousinphone

If we gave Zeus a lobotomy, wouldn't it double as giving him an abortion?

If GTA 6 actually does have pride parades, it'd be hella funny if they were the most heavily armed group in the game and the hardest to attack.

They didn't give Amethyst from Steven Universe a love interest because she would be too spicy for a kid's show. The girl loves eating garbage and shitting, any sort of romantic fling would immediately turn into the freakiest sex ever. She'd shapeshift into a pelican mid bj just to laugh at you.

I asked for a caricature and got handed a mirror.

I need a comic of Gruntilda taking The Substance. The Elizabeth/Sue dynamic is too perfect for what Grunty has going on.

I love going on thirst trap videos and commenting on something irrelevant in the background. "Careful, those plants look like they need watering." "Seems like you worked really hard on that painting back there, good job." "Good idea to keep hot sauce in the fridge, lasts longer that way."

The first alien contact had to be heavily censored. Upon meeting a Montana farmer, they raised a dripping appendage and said, "greetings choom, we are here for the benefit of everypony on your planet." They were deemed too based for public awareness.

Swiped off a video that started, "Nintendo finally revealed the DISTURBING origins of the Piranha plants..." It's a giant teeth plant that eats you, that's already freaky enough. They don't need extra shit like, "they only sprout from the CORPSES of TOADS!!!!" or whatever. Hat on a hat edginess.

There's an inverted sort of tech savvy mindset going on My uncle (72) proudly generates all kinds of ai pics for Facebook, knowing exactly what prompts to use Meanwhile I'm still using the polygonal lasso tool in photoshop like a 2007 web designer Now IM doing things "the good old fashioned" way.

"Smell ya later" is the most versatile goodbye. It can be insulting, funny, flirty, dorky, referential to Pokemon, appropriate for kids, inappropriate for your boss, ableist to say to blind people, demeaning for sanitation workers, cute to say to a pet, and tragic as a final farewell.

The story of "Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars" is that an extra-dimensional war god wants to fill Mario's world with thousands of sentient weapons and kill all life native to our reality. There's also a punk yoshi with sunglasses named Boshi.

Jason from Friday the 13th doesn't kill kids...but that means there's a chronological point where you become free game. Sex-hungry teens are clearly fine to kill, so does that mean the first time you feel any sexual desire at all you're put on his shit list? Would he kill a 40 year old asexual?

When every day of your life is Superman 64, even Sonic 06 feels like Mario Odyssey