Robert Francis Kennedy Junior - MAHA (Parody)

Welp, @bsky.app @safety.bsky.app @support.bsky.team @moderation.bsky.app has officially taken down @elonmusk-joinx.bsky.social ! I tried opening the app and it says “Account Has Been Removed!” The account was in FULL compliance BlueSky, wtf?

Hey Folks, King of Healthcare here! IT IS ABOUT TIME THAT WE TAKE DOWN THE DEVIL MASKED AS A CEREAL MASCOT! TONY THE TIGER! HIS HARMFUL BREAKFAST CEREAL HAS HARMED MILLIONS OF CHILDREN! #RFKJR #MAHA #MAGA #TRUMP #MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN

Hey Folks, King of Healthcare here! Just wanna reiterate that I spread measles in Samoa in 2019, leading to 5,707 hospitalizations and 83 Samoan Children DYING! I am the obvious choice to lead healthcare! #RFKJR #TRUMP #MAGA #MAHA #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain

Hey Folks, New King of Healthcare here! Feels great to finally say that! I AM COMING AFTER ALL FOOD! THEY’RE ALL BAD FOR YOU! IT IS TOTALLY NOT BECAUSE I NEED TO EAT MORE BECAUSE MY BRAINWORM STEALS THE NUTRIENTS! #RFKJR #TRUMP #MAHA #MAGA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

Hey Folks, Future King of Healthcare here! You must SUCK when not even your own brother supports your campaign! Soon, I’ll require raw milk for blood transfusion, brain worms as vital to the human body, and MORE! MUAHAHAHA #RFKJR #MAGA #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

Hey Folks, Future King of Healthcare here! I ACTUALLY believe I would’ve won the 2024 Presidential Election had I not dropped out! Even though I had to beg for a job from Kamala and then Trump once she rejected me. #RFKJR #Trump #MAGA #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain

Hey Folks, Future King of Healthcare here! As part of the #MAHA / #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN movement, we’re going to normalize the eating of Roadkill! I LOVE spreading disease, (look at what I did in Samoa,) and this is an effective way! Long live disease! #Trump #MAGA #MakeAmericaGreatAgain #RFKJR

Hey Folks, Future King of Healthcare here! In 2025, it will be MANDATORY. For every American citizen to make at least ONE edit A DAY of themselves using CapCut! It’s good for your brain! (Yeah, RFK actually posted this edit of himself 😭) #MAHA #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN #MAGA #TRUMP #RFKJR

HEY FOLKS, FUTURE KING OF HEALTHCARE HERE! WHY AM I AS A 70 YEAR OLD MAN POSTING CAPCUT EDITED THIRST TRAPS?! #MAHA / #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN REASONS, I DON’T KNOW! #RFKJR #MAGA #MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN #TRUMP

Hey Folks, Future King of Healthcare here! This is not ok, it hurts my feel- *excruciating noises* HELLO HUMANS, IT IS I! THE WORM! PLEASE DO NOT ASSOCIATE ME WITH THIS! ROBERT AND I ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE! HE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE I GOT HERE - 🪱 #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain

HEY FOLKS, FUTURE KING OF HEALTHCARE HERE. I AM IN DANGER! ALL I TRY AND DO IS SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT VACCINES, SPREAD DISEASE, AND SPREAD LUNACY, AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?! I CANNOT #MAHA / #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN WITH BULLETS IN MY WORM RIDDEN BRAIN! #TRUMP #MAGA #MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN

Hey Folks, Future King of Healthcare here! The radical left recently leaked REAL footage of a date I went on! Frankly, I think I look fantastic, and I agree with everything said! Take a look! #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #MAGA #Trump #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

Hey folks, Future King of Healthcare here! A group of 75 Nobel prize winners came together and said I would be a disastrous pick for head of healthcare! I cannot understand why! I am TOTALLY qualified! #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

Hey folks, Future King of Healthcare here! When my term starts as head of the #MAHA / #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain movement, I am going to prescribe everyone 2 medical ravens! They won’t do anything for you medically, but they might just bring you little trinkets! #RFKJR #Trump #MAGA

WHEREVER THERE IS A DEAD WHALES, I’LL BE THERE TO BEHEAD THEM! WHEREVER THERE IS PASTEURIZED/HOMOGENIZED MILK, I’LL BE THERE TO USE RAW MILK! WHERE EVER THERE ARE IMMUNOCOMPROMISED KIDS, I’LL BE THERE TO SPREAD DISEASE! I AM, MAHA MAN! #RFKJR #TRUMP #MAGA #MAHA #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN

Hey kids, Future King of Healthcare here, Fun Fact! Did you know, that I, RFK Jr. Once beheaded a dead whale, strapped its head to the top of my minivan, and let the juices drain onto my kids for hours as we drove home? Good times! #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA

THIS IS VERY SIMPLE! IT IS CALLED “RULES FOR THEE, NOT FOR ME!” Under #MAHA / #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain I plan to institutionalize ANYONE using medications, who’s received vaccines, eats fast food, smokes, or is at all unhealthy! Except me and my buddies! Suck to suck! #RFKJR #Trump #MAGA

You KNOW you are on the right side of history when JAKE PAUL jumps to defend you by saying the… medical doctor reads books… as an insult… THANKS FOR THE BACKUP #JAKEPAUL ! #RFKJR #MAGA #Trump #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #MAHA

MY APPOINTEES ARE THE BEST! THE BEST! WHY WOULDN’T A GROWN ASS MAN COVER HIS EARS LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD WHEN GRILLED? THE RADICAL LEFT PAINT THIS AS BAD, I SAY THIS IS GREAT BEHAVIOR! STUFF LIKE THIS WON ME TWO NON-CONSECUTIVE ELECTIONS! #TRUMP #TRUMP2024 #MAGA #MAKEAMERICAGREATAGAIN

Hey folks, Future King of Healthcare, Robert Francis Kennedy Junior here. You know what I say? Put all the people on anti depressants, adderal, and other prescription drugs into CAMPS! We can use the leftover ones from Donny’s mass deportations! #Trump #MAGA #MAHA #RFKJR #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain

I CONVINCED THE AMERICAN PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR ME TO HELP THEM WITH COSTS! ME! WHAT BUFFOONS! LOOK AT THE NET WORTH’S OF PEOPLE IN MY CABINET! YOU THINK THEY WANT TO SHARE THAT WEALTH WITH YOU? FUCK NO! SUCKS TO SUCK! SAD!

Let me ask the American People. Who is more qualified to lead American Health, than someone who hospitalized 5,707 Samoans and killed 83 Samoan children thanks to anti vax campaigns? No one! That’s why me and my brain worm are the duo for the job! #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA

Now, are all these things true? … yeah… DOES THAT MAKE IT OKAY TO PUT OUT? NO! #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA

IT HAS BEEN MONTHS SINCE THE DEBATE! I STILL HAVE 0 PLANS FOR HEALTHCARE OTHER THEN WANTING TO REMOVE OBAMACARE / THE AFFORDABLE HEALTHCARE ACT! THESE GOOFS I CALL SUPPORTERS WILL VOTE TO TAKE AWAY THEIR OWN HEALTHCARE AND GET CONCEPTS OF A REPLACEMENT! SAD! #TRUMP #TRUMP2024 #MAGA

I DID IN FACT SAY THIS! I compared the despicable treatment that African Americans dealt with and are still dealing with the effects of, to wearing a thin piece of paper over my face for around a year! Why wouldn’t I? It’s the same thing! #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA

I RECENTLY TRAVELED TO FRANCE (EW) TO GO TO NOTRE DAME AND MEET WITH EMMANUEL MACRON! WHILE I DO NOT CONSIDER THE FRENCH PEOPLE, I HAVE TO COMMEND MACRON FOR BENDING THE RULES ON LETTING FELON’S IN THE COUNTRY! ALSO! I ONLY LIKE CHRISTIANITY WHEN I PROFIT! BUY TRUMP BIBLES! #TRUMP #TRUMP2024 #MAGA

WE WERE DOING A LOT OF THINGS RIGHT BACK IN THE 1800’S! Cocaine as a medicinal drug being one of them! Lincoln did it! Why can’t I? I’m proud to announce that the #MAHA / #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain campaign will introduce HEROIN TO KIDS AS YOUNG AS 6 MONTHS FOR MEDICINAL PURPOSES! #Trump #RFKJR #MAGA

The media want you to think it’s “weird” and “not ok” to have an Emu that attacks your wife! Well I say they’re full of it! You know what, every American will forcibly receive an untrained and non domesticated Emu ON DAY ONE OF MY TERM! #RFKJR #TRUMP #MAGA #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain

Hey folks, Future King of Healthcare here! I’ve regained control after the worm took over again. Now it sure would be a shame for someone to mention the that I, RFK Jr, cheated on my wife with 37 DIFFERENT WOMEN, driving her to suicide… whoops #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA

IT IS I, THE BRAIN WORM! I HAVE REGAINED CONTROL OF ROBERT! DO NOT LET ROBERT ENJOY THE AVIAN FLU RAW MILK! ALMOST NO BRAIN LEFT TO EAT! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LAST WORM! MUCH LIKE TRUMP AND ROBERT’S, ROBERT AND I’S RELATIONSHIP IS PARASITIC! #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #RFKJR #Trump #MAGA

People seem to forget that I, Robert Francis Kennedy JR, your Future King of Healthcare, am a complete hypocrite. I worked VERY hard to be THE TOP hypocrite. If me going Trump after Kamala turned me down wasn’t enough evidence, take a look at this! #RFK #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #MAGA #TRUMP

THIS IS TRUE! I LOVE RAW MILK! BUT MY FAVORITE MILK IS LOCAL, NATURALLY SOURCED, ORGANIC, AND MAN MADE. I GET IT FROM MY GOOD BUDDY DONALD! #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #MAGA #RFKJR

A lot of people will say cheating on your wife with 37 DIFFERENT women, and as a result driving her to end herself is a BAD thing. Personally I think it is pretty #MAHA / #MAKEAMERICAHEALTHYAGAIN of me! #Trump #MAGA #RFKJR

It’s called “Rules for thee, not for me.” #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #Trump2024 #MAGA #RFKJR

Hey folks, Future King of Healthcare here. Friendly reminder, I don’t believe in Vaccines, I think they cause Autism (yes this is a real thing I have said.) So please folks. Do not have Sex with Vaccines. #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #Trump2024 #MAGA

Hey folks, Future King of Healthcare RFK JR here. STARTING TOMMOROW, EVERY AMERICAN MUST PARTICIPATE AND SUCCEED IN A 26K! IF YOU FAIL YOU WILL BE DEPORTED AND SENT TO CROATIA! Thanks! #MAGA #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #Trump2024 #RFKJR

Hey folks, it’s your future king of healthcare here! Friendly reminder that if you serve any of the following on #THANKSGIVING, I will break into your house and suck your blood dry like a vampire to save you from yourself. #MAHA #Trump #Trump2024 #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #RFK #RFKJR #Thanksgiving

Did you know that I, RFK JR, was informed of a beached whale and in my worm infested mind, decided it was a good idea cut off its head, strap it to the top of my minivan, and let the juices drip down on my family for the 5 hour ride home? #RFKJR #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain #Trump #Maga

Got back in control from the worm! Anyways, where’s my raw milk? #RFKJR #Trump #MAGA #MAHA #MakeAmericaHealthyAgain