Rilli Tho.

But I love books that were personally annotated or highlighted.

Saturn's been pushing these piano lessons too hard

Norm MacDonald and Anthony Jeselnik are gay in the same way

I thought she made up Hall & Oats. I THOUGHT IT WAS GRITS

Commas and semicolons are cozying up--way more than they should--to my liking. (Yes, this is on purpose)

If they call you a degenerate, maybe you're not. I gotta study. I gotta study DraftKings. I gotta study whatever it is to understand where you're coming from. I live by the classic song with Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson. Wazzzupwitu

Elder abuse is not nearly as motivating as child abuse.

Forgot to put a hyphen in "well-said," then realized the proper punctuation is W'El-Sayed. I dont care. This stays.

No, I did not SEE you can see everything.

My first call today was from Chase.

My heart is heavy. Walter Koenig, our Ensign Pavel Chekov, passed away early today. Walter and I met on the bridge of the Enterprise in the 1960s, and we stayed friends for nearly six decades. When Brad and I married in 2008, Walter stood beside us as our best man.

To carry on my great matrilineal tradition, I'm a Carmen, not a Karen

Really good idea

May the "lookin' like" Obama era never end.

AJ McLean and Marc Maron have the same conversational voice

Talk about The WMBA is men's gymnasitc. Bring up Ellie

You could just mute all of his coverage

This app is great because it offers. It doesn't devour

You meet people at a very interesting time. You see them before they've had their coffee.

Being on the right side of history means you

Suggesting a DFW work to a white guy is a thrill i can't explain. I'd heard doesn't know this one, HE KNOWS ANOTHER.

You can't cut squash raw without an unrealistic idea of what you can cut. You gotta heat it. This is a draft note to self on a different subject

Wait....is it that my reaction to a funny joke

I gotta work on my Amtrak Joe bit tomorrow. And if you try to get ahead of me, you can't. It's a monopoly I'm also proud of.

Maybe she didn't know, but she knew she'd done a bad

4th grade. I'm made to get first honors. I mean MADE. Muvva was like, "Memorize this with photographic memory because you have to get 100 on this test to make first honors." She calculated everything but taking me to school. I remember the seat in the park we were in. I didn't know what she meant

"Now, we're cooking with gas," came about before this induction nonsense. And it will persist.

I was asked if I was ever bullied. I wasn't asked if I ever bullied anyone.

I bought the train tickets to go to my Oma's funeral, and didn't go bc I knew I'd somehow get kicked out

My friend convinced me to watch "Russian Doll," and it's only confirming my gay manhood more Dude wakes up in a plaid shirt with a perfectly good rack Of shirts right behind him I said, out loud, "That's not your house."

Dear Paprika, I don't remember why I left you, but I'm back

What the SNL monologue demonstrated is that the host got really good at mimicking a body language that postures "everyone knows what I'm saying."

Garlic ambulating in fishnets at this time of night

I worded this horribly. When Elon bought Twitter, I stopped making original posts. I'd quote and reply, but not make new stuff. Misplaced morality?

I've not posted any of my own words as standalones on Twitter since that particular whoever bought it. Everyone else who hayes him continues to. Am I always just holding the wrong line?

Is the Holmes-Luigi a square or an opposition

Understanding the Gemini man better Is the type of stuff I write to invalidate all my scholarship

I can already see comedy flubbing their Katie Zacharia bits. The joke is in the subtlety. Make the wire in her ear the joke.

Why does the Panamanian flag look like a LinkedIn game

Currently seeking someone who will watch what I have to watch and don't wanna...with a fellow have to watch and don't wanna.

OK, but Trump WANTS to hear his name & "king" in the same sentence. This is a COMPLIMENT to him.

Rich insanity and poor insanity are the same, but the payouts are different

When the COVID never shortened

Catholics can't have ADHD because St. Dymphna is pretty busy already.

The damage of people being pressured to write privately publicly for other people and calling it "social"

More moves doesn't mean better dancing

Who has time for space-time

It's the message testing

"The problem with arrows and javelins" -my friend