Michael

Yes, gas prices are going up but our new PAYNE AT THE PUMP program will make it fun for the whole family: now you can watch 1995's MAJOR PAYNE in 2.5 minute bites! Note: It will not remember what scenes you've already watched. And sometimes it will show 1994's RENAISSANCE MAN but we don't know why.

RFK Jr. Fires Piss Czar https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-fires-piss-czar/

Chinese astronauts become the first to grill wings in space, paving the way for future uncstronauts

What's the matter babe you've barely touched your event horizon ribs

nice argument, unfortunately i have already depicted myself as Switch 2 Keith David and you as Gamecube Jason Alexander

we're gonna get the stupidest possible version of skynet

Grape Nuts (holding me back): Whoa whoa whoa, hey man, just let it go! This asshole isn't worth it!

Sobbing uncontrollably as I pay my respects to the 2014 garden state parkway rest stop hall of fame inductee, Sir James Gandolfini

This senator's viral clapback to the fascists dragging him to the gallows is giving us life