robodirect.bsky.social

The biggest scandal today in one headline:

I know there's no logical reason for me to continue to live but I just can't get past my latent will to survive and end it. It's fucking torture. I hate being such a fucking coward.

A horse walked into a bar and went fucking nuts. Kicked the shit out of the barman, he won't be the same

I think a lot of people really set themselves up for disappointment by believing things can get better

Had a nice month there where the old depression seemed to go into remission and I felt fairly optimistic. Back to praying for a massive heart attack in my sleep now but it was nice while it lasted

"I'm not like the other primates" - Pick-me marmoset

Catch 21

Rubik whenever he got a phonecall:

Murder on the pants floor. That's where we keep the pants! Hey hey hey hey

Tracy Chapman to her grieving friend: you get a mass card

High protein fermented cabbage call that powerkraut

Jacob Elordi's parents really missed the boat not naming him Lord

Salvadoran president nayib bukele looks like a better dressed Buster Bluth

*in bed doing my Jeb Bush impression* please cum

Andrew Schulz really looks like a human STI

Call me radical but I think every time a billionaire writes an op-ed they should be donated to a home for underprivileged grizzly bears

I was hoping McGregor's pensioner punching instincts would kick in yesterday but alas

There's an episode of doctor who where an unlikeable dork billionaire who got rich making cars more eco-friendly makes a deal with aliens to destroy Earth in exchange for help founding a small colony of his followers that he can control and man, that seemed far fetched in 2008

I don't know how, in a country with so much gun violence they aren't facing attempts daily. Only one has to be successful. Bet on yourself.

When michéal goes over for paddys day they're gonnamake Vance talk shite about the Apple tax thing aren't they?

That chainsaw had an opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

"We're living in a simulation" is literally just creationism for people who are unbearable in the other direction huh

Mental how when the rest of the world hears the phrase "british invasion" they think of the beatles and when I hear it I think of like, cromwell