rodiohead

Too many people use social media to convince you that they are cool and interesting. I am neither and I make it obvious, which is why you have to like me.

Ok I guess

It's incredibly frustrating how efforts to educate the CA public on props 40, 41, and 42 are entirely too late because with all the misleading ads we've seen in the last 2 months it's basically too late now. I truly hope people actually read the voter guides but I am not at all optimistic.

Journaling and doodling instead of doomscrolling works. Today I got online and didn't get a comedic post referencing a political gaffe from this morning. I am at least 24 hours behind on the news.

God I love a good video essay

There is nowhere I can scream in peace

May I offer you a bowl of Frosted Flakes in these trying times?

I'm going to say something so incredibly brave as a millennial with certifiably good taste in music: Accelerando's lyrics are godawful but the song is so good that it doesn't actually matter. The screaming is very Bjork. The video also fucking rips.

This is basically every interaction on the internet now and I would just love it if everyone took an extra strength chill pill

Watching people sincerely argue about whether a restaurant's value is the quality of food or the quality of service and their utter lack of respect for one another's opinions on a completely subjective thing.. guys..

I wonder what it's like for people who never feel remorse. I'm not religious but I often find myself feeling penitent for even the most minor missteps. Did my lack of enthusiasm to chat with the cashier ruin their evening? I deserve to have stubbed my toe immediately after.

Times are too desperate to be a purist about how to achieve your goals.

Dear diary, I could not possibly be in a more rock and a hard place unless I was actually stuck in a fucking canyon.

Crashing the economy and making a rocket car is demonic, evil goblin shit.

Upon extensive research, I have concluded that failing upwards is exclusive to evil stupid people. If you're well-meaning, unfortunately you have to work really hard. Bummer!

Are they serious? This absolutely bangs

Yesterday I was advised that Jonathan Taylor Thomas, my millennial crush who famously stepped back from Hollywood to be normal, kicked a cop in the stomach while yelling "it's Tool Time!" While my fully developed frontal lobe immediately flagged exaggeration, I have decided I want to believe this.

Your horoscope for today says you can be a fucking bitch so like go ahead

Gillis bombing SNL negates him selling out a stadium, so now he's just a dude on Tires and that's really where he needs to stay his ass at.

Looked cute at the function

Man who won’t give his employees piss breaks claims many piss breaks on the horizon

I'm beautiful, funny, and good at everything.

One time I was at a recording studio, the owner's name was Fernando. He was sitting at the boards and his tech asked if he could hear the drums. I perked up and immediately sang the line "can you hear the drums, Fernando?" Everyone looked at me like I was fucking insane. In a recording studio!!

We all die, bitch

The party committee at my job used so much AI to generate ideas for our holiday retreat that they ended up telling everyone the suggested DRESS code was "midcentury modern" and attached the worst AI renders of vaguely Mad Men on a golf course type shit to go along with it. I am so tired.

I'mma dust off the roflmao for this one

Can you believe people who are 19 think this way about someone over 30??? Yes! Stop fucking asking them!

Even Chuck Lorre's bazinga brain was able to fire shots at this administration, so what's everyone else's excuse?

You can make incredible games with some of the best writing and visuals, win awards etc, and still have everything slip through your fingers like sand. Damn.

I'm hoping that people can tell by now that when something is being shoved in front of your face like this (I see this ad at least one time for every piece of online media I consume) that it's blatantly lying to you. "Teachers and firefighters agree!" yeah fuckin right dude, get absolutely taxed.