Roni

Witkoff to Putin: "You are a humanitarian ... and I salute that, I commend you..." A boot-licker says what? Perhaps Witkoff mispronounced "inhumane" because his tongue was hanging out, I dont know, but Putin is literally the opposite of a humanitarian.

So have I.

"She should've made better choices"? 🤬 no. If they had made better choices, hers wouldn't have mattered.

Looks like we can add doxxing to the perpetually growing list of felonies the dear leader has committed.

Staff: Our audience will hate this! Execs: But we'll release a statement about him calling us a failing network and then paying us lots of money to air his ad. Teehee 🤭 We the Audience: Yeah, about that. It's OUR money he's paying you. Pretty sure that's not gonna land like you want it to.

If a picture paints a thousand words...

He's already rigging the election with district gerrymandering, USPS manipulation, and ICE intimidation, but just in case all those layers aren't enough to guarantee republicans will win the midterns, he's now icing that corruption cake with bribery. Scared of voters much? He should be!

Simplistic? Yes. But true? Absolutely.

This is giving serious "When Jean-Luc Met Adolph" vibes.

Just gonna leave this right here

Read this - ALL of it - if you have the stomach.

Why are we paying Congress to NOT work? Probably the same reason we've been paying a certain senator to ghost (literally) us for 2+ MONTHS. I thought Trump's supposed to be a brilliant businessman, but what business wouldn't fire employees who failed to report for work for weeks on end?

Every time he refers to America as hotter, all I can picture is the proverbial frog in a pot of water. Yes, we're hotter because the water is near boiling, so maybe he should focus on fixing actual problems instead of what bodies of water are named.

He lost in 2020 because he wasn't prepared for the mail-in vote. He won in 2024 because the mail-in vote was weakened by fElon's interference. Knowing this and how massively unpopular he is now, he's upping the ante by eliminating mail-in voting altogether.

Pop Quiz: Why was this man deported to his country of origin after one day in detention when others are held for weeks before being deported to places they've never been before? A. He has the right skin color B. He has the right nationality C. He has the right political beliefs D. All of the above

Tea leaves? Crystal ball? Oracle? Who knows, but her prediction was certainly on point.

🗣 OLLIE OLLIE OXEN FREE!!!

He inadvertently opened the door to the most self-own mnemonic ever

If the petulant toddler cosplaying as leader of the free world can unilaterally rename Lake Ontario, then Canada should get to rename Lake Michigan. I mean, fair is fair.

First Dolly Parton. Now Tim Curry. There is something somehow comforting in knowing the man who portrayed an iconic transvestite was welcomed into the afterlife by the woman who was an iconic LGBTQ+ ally. May they both rest in love and peace.

Which issue matters more? Your answer says everything about you.

No notes

Trickle down wasn't supposed to mean piss on everyone beneath you

I feel so seen

He did this! 🍊🤡

In case you're wondering what wine goes with Orange Chicken, try Pedo Noir in a box.

The fact that this guy has $100 million just lying around for him to spend on opposing a wealth tax is the definition of tone deaf politics.

Funny how fuel costs, grocery prices, the Iran "excursion," the Epstein files, the corruption, the grift, the insanity of it all - none of that bullshit is on recess just because they are.

Don't tell me this wasn't the plan all along: ▪︎ Levy tariffs he knows are unconstitutional ▪︎ Corporations go along with it ▪︎ Promise consumers a payday ▪︎ SCOTUS strikes down tariffs ▪︎ Corporations get payday ▪︎ Consumers get squat ▪︎ Lather rinse repeat with a different law (Graphics credit: MS NOW)

John Cornyn (R-TX): There's nothing we could do to rein in Donald Trump. Here's a suggestion: Go reclaim your forfeited spine, stand up for yourself, and put the toddler tyrant in time out. It shouldn't be at all difficult if you're willing to prioritize the Constitution over your personal gain.

tRump: "It's called TALENT, and I have it, and they don't!" Ladies and gentlemen, this is Talent, discreetly dropping a new ball for the man who cheats at everything.

Oops, looks like DOGE missed a useless freeloader sucking on the government's teat.

You know what they say about good deeds

So we gave Saudi Arabia a nuclear deal. Umm...why? So they don't have to bother hijacking airplanes next time? What the hell??

Where's my check?

Ladies and gentlemen, RFK Jr. is a literal cyclosporiasis shit show and wholly unqualified to serve as US Secretary of Health and Human Services. We all know who we can thank for his appointment and for his confirmation. Vote them out.