Ron Sexsmith

Well, it's almost Hallowe'en In a few days we'll be hobnobbing with hobgoblins RS

Some old CanCon for your Tuesday RS youtu.be/0vILAmC1GDQ?...

YOU: So I hear you got fired from the clock factory? ME: Yea, and after all those extra hours I put in! RS

ME: Is it true your Mom used to own a tanning salon? YOU: Yup... ME: So then... she could literally tan your hide? RS

ME: Still dating that Archaeologist? YOU: Nah, he always had a bone to pick with somebody RS

Some music for your Monday RS youtu.be/oK_aYZU2w6Q?...

LION: Did you hear about that herd of Wildebeests that came rushing by here an hour ago? HYENA: Yea, Gnus travels fast! RS

TELEPHONE RINGS: KIDNAPPER: Yes, hello? YOU: Can I speak to Ron please? KIDNAPPER: I'm sorry, he's tied up at the moment RS

There was a Gnome Who had a home in Nome Alaska Some say the Gnome Had a second home in Omaha Nebraska It was a home away from home For a Gnome away from Nome Which was his home RS

So Trump's been making these strange noises at recent rallies that apparently are called myoclonic jerks... Though in his case I'm calling them moronic jerks RS

Some music for your Sunday RS youtu.be/VAl4qIj7LIo?...

ME: Guess who I bumped into on my way to my Eye Doctor appointment today? YOU: Who? ME: Everyone.. RS

Get my motor running Head out on the sidewalk Looking for a coffee And a muffin or a scone Yea, gotta go make it happen Take a squirrel in a love embrace Buy cardamoms for lunch and Get crumbs on my face Like a true nature's child Ron was born, born to be mild! Drink a chai & sigh Never wanna die RS

BROCKVIEW BIBLE CHAPEL PICNIC 1972: REVEREND: Hey Ronnie! Great job winning the potato sack race! ME: Yea, I guess I am pretty good in the sack... RS

In honour of Bill Wyman's birthday who turns 90 today! Ron sings "Mother's Little Helpers" RS youtu.be/ofKE7W6uE0c?...

BATH TUB: Are you alright? You look a bit off.. TOILET: Well, I do feel a little flushed RS

Listening to "A Date With The Everly Brothers" RS

Listening to "Songs Of Leonard Cohen" RS

Listening to Joan Armatrading's "The Key" album RS

ME: Is it true that Jesus was born in a manger? GOD: Well, actually, it was a Pret A Manger but I don't wanna get in the way of a good story... RS

HORSE: I hear that we're getting new feed bags today.... HORSE#2: Oh? Hopefully they'll be more comfortable than the old ones.. HORSE: Well, I've been hearing lots of good feed bag RS

Some music for your Friday RS youtu.be/hl0kJKJLtS0?...

YOU: I'll never become a pilot... ME: Not with that altitude you won't! RS

Sing us a song You're Banana Man Sing us a song tonight Cos we're all in the mood of chimpanzee And you've got us peeling all ripe RS

They say the best is yet to come... But when searching for Bigfoot The Yeti is best to come RS

In honour of the late Dory Previn Ron sings "Come Saturday Morning" RS youtu.be/2cIoE08POGc?...

Whenever Norman Bates washed his clothes He always used the delicate psycho RS

Some Elvis Costello for your morning RS youtu.be/MzZlgj0X4-4?...

There comes a time in ever dog's life to bow wow gracefully RS

The Smothers Brothers and Marcel Marceau Were touring down in France doing multiple shows The Brothers ate all of his backstage snacks So Marceau took a run at them with an axe... When you're Brothers And a dangerous mime Brothers And a dangerous mime RS

In honour of the late Tom Petty's birthday Ron sings "Refugee" RS youtu.be/Acj5fJzhZzo?...

ME: How's veterinarian school going? YOU: Great.. today we learned about mouse to mouse resuscitation RS

Trump & the GOP absolutely need to get obliterated in the midterms and lose not only in a landslide but hopefully in a mudslide too that drags all those spineless and morally bankrupt hypocrites down to the very bowels of Hell where they most certainly belong RS

And now a traditional Hallowe'en carol: "From an outhouse near a graveyard There came a most un-perty sound Struck fear in every brave heart And the children called him Squirty Brown" RS

And the men who shop for groceries Must be the first to start To bring the fruits and vegetables Closer to the cart The pot pies and the orange juice The crackers and pop tarts The frozen foods of destiny Closer to the cart! Closer to the CART!!!! Yea! RS

Some music for your Monday RS youtu.be/2ddjswKAKzE?...

YOU: Hey Ron, do you like basketball? ME: It's ok I guess.. although I never really understood all the hoopla RS

Watched the Norm MacDonald doc tonight. He was always my favourite comedian and it was great to see so many old clips of him and the ending was quite touching RS

WAR OF 1812: ME: Hey, so you've met General Brock? YOU: Yup... ME: I hear he's a loose cannon? Is that true... YOU: Well, no.. but I think he might own a loose cannon RS

YOU: Do ya wanna help me scrub the algae off of my swimming pool? ME: Well, I would...but at school I always failed Algae Brush RS

In honour of the late Chuck Berry's birthday Ron sings "Memphis" RS youtu.be/E83fIZTlodA?...

In honour of the late Laura Nyro's birthday Ron sings "Stoned Soul Picnic" RS youtu.be/0kI-WjmY-Aw?...

PIE: Haven't seen you around much lately? CAKE: Yea, I just had to get away for awhile... PIE: Everybody always trying to get a piece of you right? CAKE: You know it brother... RS

Some kids keep playing "Nicky Nicky Nine Door" on us. It's a bit nerve wracking RS

YOU: I couldn't help noticing that you have a brand new unopened toilet brush in your bathroom? ME: Yea, my son got me that for Christmas but I'm old fashioned. I prefer toilet paper RS

When you work at an Apiary You must be on your beast bee-hive-iour RS

Some Brian Wilson for your Saturday RS youtu.be/uNqdFP7RjxA?...

Oh to be a young meteorologist taking the world by storm RS

Backstage at the Tom Patterson theatre in Stratford for my 2nd sold out "Sexsmith Sings Lightfoot" show. And look! They've provided me with wine AND Caramel corn! Thanks @stratfest.bsky.social RS

In my life I've seen dust balls and lint I don't know Where it came from or went Can't stop now My navel is full Of something soft and white I wanna know what fluff is! I know you can show me! I wanna feel what fluff is! I want you to show me! RS