rstevens 👻💨

I may have done a terrible job, but at least it took three times longer than expected

“what’s my motivation?” “snacks”

Santa Claus is of the species hohoho sapiens sapiens

Announcing WindowShade Redux 1.0*! WindowShade Redux brings back the beloved WindowShading and Minimize-In-Place window management actions to a modern macOS! Make sure to check out the Feature Showcase video that shows the over 20 animations available. paradisefacade.com/blog/2026/10...

i have had the first 30 seconds of this song stuck in my head for a full week. finally, something is going right. music.apple.com/us/album/no-ba…

Maybe this sticker's a little too East Coast I dunno. Or maybe your car is just lazy. topato.co/collections/...

in the interest of full accountability, this morning i missed flipping off my first cyber truck of 2026. i know this is a huge disappointment. i will endeavor to do better.

the unabomber and i want you to know that video shows filmed in person are not podcasts

i’m investing in potato futures because i believe that potatoes are our future

why do we “hop” on zoom but “jump” on calls yet we “fall” into The Gap fall into The Gap fall into The Gap fall into The Gap fall into The Gap fall into The Gap fall into The Gap fall into The Gap fall

check out my new recipe for a one-ingredient sandwich [BREAD] [bread] [BREAD] patent pending

the recipe to OK Soda (look it up, kids)

that’s not a flying car. that’s a farting car.

it’s new avalanches album day today. it is once again a miraculous day.

can i get a wheel of the house cheese for the table

i’m doing all my errands to the 30 Rock soundtrack this week. you haven’t lived until you’ve flipped off a cyber truck to the tune of tracy jordan singing “i will always love you”.

I’m probably gonna get in trouble for this, but it has to be said. The Phantom Menace is the first Star Wars movie.

new from twizzlers: edible sweaters

the most exciting thing about the internet is that it’s constantly providing brand new ways for people to be weird to each other

not to be controversial but i think that hat works on sluggo, if no other person on earth

please repost this to help raise breakfast sandwich awareness

i hope disney never sullies my memory by making a live-action adaptation of me

This is Fine.

🎵 the Monster Mash is your chance to Do the Hump 🎵

my watch says my butt age is 69

This is Fine.

there’s no recovering from the realization that you’re allergic to grasses, and wheat is a grass

i can’t believe joe biden wrecked my sleep last night. that man is unstoppable

the shit we go through to drive a car that doesn’t make us click updated terms and conditions to continue

shout out to my various antagonists never give up i guess

you can just install a gravestone in your yard without a dead body. nobody can stop you. it’s not illegal to plan ahead.

lo and behold? in this economy?

Tired: Chocolate Hummus Wired: BubbleGummus

next person who tries to “inspire” me is gonna get bit

welp, that was heartbreaking in a very well-written way

we fell off as a society when super-villains stopped robbing banks and started purely focusing on getting revenge on spider-man

bury me under the international house of pancakes

life hack: spend the winter inside your air fryer

i’m traveling back to 1973 to make sure the 21st century doesn’t happen if anyone needs anything

what was that one movie with the guy and the other person. i think there was a conflict of some sort?