Ryan Bedell

Doing some repairs on the cargo shorts that got me through movies in the early 2000s

You being upset doesn't obligate anyone else to anything. Don't expect other people to change for you.

This is how you make jeans last a couple decades

Is it weird that my response to TERFs is to say, "why are you being a little birch about this? Calm your tits!"

If you know about it. And have power to do something about it. And decide not to. You're evil.

Selling people things they want is never an act of war. This is why Balenciaga hasn't had their design offices involved in kinetic strikes against known combatants.

This is what's wrong with America. That spot at Harvard could have uplifted a poor kid who worked hard and instead it went to a narcissistic addict from a "good" family. Absurd

If the other cops around the cop who got hit by a sandwich by sandwich guy aren't currently calling him "hero" exclusively then I don't even want to live in this continuum

What responsibility justifies your privilege?

Team Dick around

Team Dick Armey

Thoughts and prayers

Looks like SOMEONE is feeling guilty about Epstein activities.

Sometimes you just need some majesty in your life. Don't fail to full screen it. Totally worth it. Just wait until 20 seconds when you see the solar panels roll across the earth

Alexandra rocked it on this one. I hope someone slips a printout of this under Ladapo's door every ten minutes for the next 10 years. www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

In our personal lives we need to pretend free will is real. As a society we need to realize that it kind of isn't.

synergistically ravaging our mitochondria is the funniest few words I've seen in a long time.

I, for one, am glad that the administration is investigating Michael Bolton. How am I supposed to live without you? Stand on your own feet, she's not worth it.

Mars may want our women, but look who wants our seniors!

How short was Big Balls' skirt? Did he lead the attackers on? What was he doing out at night? This is his fault

Oh, VDOT, you have no idea how down my bed is.

If you're more than 18 but less than old you can't spa

Me, to someone who just told me they work for ICE: That's OK, man, I'm sure that if you work hard and get the right skills you can eventually be a real cop. Like at a mall or a college or something. You know, where you get a badge and stuff?

Pascal's wager. "I'll bet I can bang that person" He usually wins

Such a shame that Pascals were wasted on pressure measurement when they could have been used as the unit for male sexual magnetism

Anyone else seeming to drive out of the sky into a parking spot?

I've decided that I'm going to replace kaizen with kaiju every time I use it What could go wrong?

Anybody else have a strange alien beach on their porch?

Buying a pallet of frozen smelt. For nefarious porpoises.

This batch of pizza dough has been reading the political news.

Remember, when someone calls you a POS, you can take comfort in the fact that you KNOW you don't take credit cards or do inventory management

www.vox.com/politics/418... Shouldn't the picture be of Stephen Miller? Because we KNOW he's a repressive tool.

I've seen movies you wouldn't believe, 4 about the myriad horrors of mandibles.

100% of jokes you don't tell fail to make anyone laugh. more shots on goal leads to more goals.

There's no reason to believe in me. There's good evidence I exist.

Pour one out for the real bangers that you said while a little high but didn't write down

If you run a biomedical company you're REALLY leaving a lot of good works on the table if you're not spending a fair bit of money to advertise to HHS employees that you're prioritizing hiring anyone fired by Lil Bobby. You know they're going to be amazing employees that follow the science.

Going into the backyard and exploring the corners of my outbuildings. I see shed people.

The pickled snowman project is going about as well as can be expected

Does the new testament condemn homosexuality or is Paul just a bigot that Jesus didn't clamp down on hard enough?

Wisdom is for suckers

The quote posting is out of control. Quit it.

Do cardinals doodle potential Pope names in their notebooks with little hearts and stuff?

Met a microbiologist the other day. Thought that he looked taller than you'd expect. Like maybe he was a normal sized biologist

Be like Jesus. Spend infinitely more time in your earthly life ragging on rich people then calling out gay people

This is an incredibly beautiful moment in the world