He Who Complains

Hey Atlanta Hawks, I'm 45 with a bad knee, ankle, and I haven't picked up a ball in 5 years. I'm here if you need me (you definitely need me😬).

This generation has the worst assassins, I swear.

This is how every husband in Maryland feels right now who'll have to go out and shovel this frozen bullshit when it comes while their wives are sitting cozy and comfortable inside and asks, "You need any help?" knowing damn well we're going to say no anyway. The wife is lucky she's pretty.

So the guy that allegedly killed Charlie Kirk was a 22 year old white male that has a cop for a dad, religious, and lives in a state thats whiter than a Starbucks serving pumpkin spice lattes in Vermont during a snowstorm while showing a Friends marathon. You know, Kirk's demographic.

Gonna say one thing and one thing only about #CharlieKirk My people...this is white on white crime that was committed in the whitest state in the Union. Stay out of it.

Me, out of nowhere randomly for no reason whatsoever: #FantasticFour "Fantastic FOOOOOUUURRRRRR"

Normal Sue Storm: "Hello, my name is Sue. Nice to meet you." Sue Storm when you threaten her child: "I will kill any and everything and there's nothing in this universe that can stop me. FAFO, bitch." #FantasticFour

Btdubs, Elon is still extremely problematic and a giant walking herpe sore. It's not ok to like him now that he's against Cheeto Mussolini.

I'm just glad one of these men has the nuclear codes and the other has all our personal data.

JD Vance right now:

Anybody check up on Aubrey?😂😂😂 #Superbowl

Metal recycling center Owl Metals is on fire (again) and everybody is racing to get closer so they can inhale those sweet carcinogens into her lungs while they sit there and watch for no damn reason.

Boss: "Have a good day. See you tomorrow." Me knowing that I'm already going to call out tomorrow because they just MENTIONED #snow:

The only Saint I ever gave a shit about. #FreeLuigi

Just had somebody on #MarvelRivals say that I sound like I have two kids and no hairline because I only had 8 kills (I was support, had over 11k healing). I wasnt even mad. I'm just amazed that he was right about the kids and the lack of a hairline. Couldn't say a damn thing back to him.

#MarvelRivals: "Look at this "Love And Thunder" Thor skin that plays a guitar riff every time you do a move. Give me your money, you weak bitch." Me:

So...they're gonna nerf Jeff the Land Shark's move soon, right? And you know what move I'm talking about... #MarvelRivals

No shit? 🙄

#MarvelRivals Only complaint I have is that I wish the character models were bigger *coughLikeOverwatchcough*. Sometimes you don't know who the hell you're aiming at if a battle gets intense. Also, I got the Superior Iron Man skin as soon as I saw it because...its Superior Iron Man. Duh.

It's 2024, and if you still fall for the scam coin rug pull, I have zero sympathy for you.

Hawk Tuah girl introduces a scam coin and a bunch of people are shocked that it got rugged IMMEDIATELY. If you got scammed by this, you deserve it and I'm laughing at you.

I wish all CEOs a pleasant trip to New York City, where anything can happen

Nobody knows, but I hope the gunman didn't sprain his trigger finger and I hope the bullets are ok.

The best thing about having a parent that's extremely and terminally ill is how people call to tell you how worried THEY are and how bad your parent sounds...like there's anything you can do about it. Gee, for a split second there I was enjoying life, but thanks for bringing back down to reality.

Imagine the recirculated cabin air full of McDonald farts and fascism...

Apocalypse most definitely