Monitor Lizard

Don't entertain that suicidal ideation! Think of how inconvenient you'll make things for everyone! You don't want to be a burden on them! All your problems have easy solutions that you are dumb and didn't consider! Don't think about how none of what was said considers your feelings at all!

Just have sex! Or do drugs! or distract yourself with entertainment media! The temporary dopamine rush and distraction is definitely a substitute for addressing any of your problems! Maybe by the time you're done you'll bother someone else with it and not this person!

Don't entertain that suicidal ideation! Think of how inconvenient you'll make things for everyone! You don't want to be a burden on them! All your problems have easy solutions that you are dumb and didn't consider! Don't think about how none of what was said considers your feelings at all!

Your life isn't that hard! Their lives are so much harder! Especially because you're in it! Nothing you worry about matters and none of your feelings are real because someone else has it worse! There is nothing about your suffering that is valid when compared to other people!

Don't entertain that suicidal ideation! Think of how inconvenient you'll make things for everyone! You don't want to be a burden on them! All your problems have easy solutions that you are dumb and didn't consider! Don't think about how none of what was said considers your feelings at all!

Why can't you just get better!? That's what everyone wants! For you! Really! Not because your problems are a huge drag on them and they hate having to be helpful when it's inconvenient for them! Think of the perfect idealized version of you they want to create! For you! Not them!

Don't entertain that suicidal ideation! Think of how inconvenient you'll make things for everyone! You don't want to be a burden on them! All your problems have easy solutions that you are dumb and didn't consider! Don't think about how none of what was said considers your feelings at all!

Consider all the victims of your selfish act! Don't be selfish! Nobody wants to have to clean up the mess you're going to leave them! Think of how sad all these people will be! Think of all the people who are going to call you a stupid coward because you made them sad!

Something I've realized I'm absolutely cursed with in social spaces is a desire to talk about heavily politicized things from apolitical angles and realizing that I can't talk to anyone about it because they really, really want to make it political. And I want to talk about some detail.

This isn't self depreciation, I genuinely despise my only input in a conversation being me agreeing with someone else about something. The only exception is if that person is receiving pushback on their position and I have further input on the matter.

Something I've realized I'm absolutely cursed with in social spaces is a desire to talk about heavily politicized things from apolitical angles and realizing that I can't talk to anyone about it because they really, really want to make it political. And I want to talk about some detail.

It isn't as though I don't have opinions outside of what I discuss, I absolutely have morals and principles, but I don't like meaningless cyclical conversations where I either agree or disagree with someone ad nauseum with neither side gaining anything other than confirmation out of it.

Something I've realized I'm absolutely cursed with in social spaces is a desire to talk about heavily politicized things from apolitical angles and realizing that I can't talk to anyone about it because they really, really want to make it political. And I want to talk about some detail.

The worst is when I have to perform this initiation ritual in conversations only to have my position questioned to the point of derailing even the approach to the topic I wanted to discuss.

Something I've realized I'm absolutely cursed with in social spaces is a desire to talk about heavily politicized things from apolitical angles and realizing that I can't talk to anyone about it because they really, really want to make it political. And I want to talk about some detail.

My wanting to focus on my area of interest on a topic becomes interpreted as a tacit endorsement of whatever side my conversation partner disagrees with. They either start trying to convince to assume a position they think I haven't taken or they get upset that I seem to be acting disrespectfully.

I rewatched War Games (1983) last night and I am very upset at this scene. The father spends the entire scene smearing loads of butter on a slice of untoasted white bread to later reveal he uses it to roll his corn in. And then it turns out the corn is uncooked.