torment nexus enjoyer

YOU - “Lamby looks soft.” LITTLE LILY - “Yes. Very soft.” Suddenly she pushes the stuffed animal toward your face. YOU - “I don't deserve it. I'm scum.”

(softly) holy shit

@malf.io get one more follower dude

(texting my instacart shopper) Your vitals are stable but I can see your heart rate spike whenever you walk by a girl. Focus, agent Shopper: It's just so painful. I see her face wherever I go Me: You're the best. You will win her back Shopper: (picking up cereal) I'm the best

me when I'm playing yet another "_______ Simulator" game and set the currency to CAD

the King did WHAT

(Alice In Chains cadence) I'm the Jack in the Box

@kingofchardonnay.bsky.social welcome nerd

I have no doubt Kadarius Toney will make his way back to the AFC West. Whether it's a humiliation ritual for him on the Raiders, or a humiliation ritual for the fans of the NFL as he gets an undeserved 2nd ring as a Chief, I cannot predict.

I'm sure nothing bad will come from corporations learning over the last few years that they can influence elections worldwide by simply engaging in a lil price gouging

Nashandra would be like "I would be so good at having the First Flame"

YOU WOULD BE GREAT AT IT TO - dashare.zone ADMIN

the whole bringing a pizza pie to a porno joint thing is totally overblown. we used to play a game with the pizza and the last fella to "finish" got to eat it. all good fun

Bluesky devs are so damn cruel for making the "go to top of feed" button a circle that's like 2 pixels narrower than profile pictures. I can't close the damn app until I spend a minute getting them to line up satisfyingly

This RB cost me 82 FAAB on the waiver wire. This is why Americans think the RB market is terrible.