Self-driving carp

When I read about past police states (3am door knocking by the Gestapo, Stasi, KGB, etc) The myth was that they were brutally effective in repressing dissent. These dimwits only have the brutal part down.

Battle of the unpleasant quarterbacks: which fan base can hold its nose longer?

The Sore Loser Movement reaffirms its most basic belief and we’re on the clock now until our Sore-Loser-in-Chief weighs in on how he may have to Do Something About It.

Unseasonably warm and sunny all day today but I couldn’t shake a feeling of darkness closing in. Just one of those days.

True tribute, and the most accurate poll I’ve seen yet.

This is also how organizers got Trump to come to a rally in Wasilla last week.

I’m grateful for the invention of color photography because otherwise how could I tell the difference between a dangerous, incompetent politician (ominous black-and-white photo, scary type) and the one I‘m supposed to vote for (good haircut, color photo).

But some of them eventually complete the cycle and get high-ranking administrative jobs and go back to spreading diseases.

In the movie one of the founder bros brings a friend to the lab on the weekend and six of the experimental dogs get loose and all they find Monday morning is a really expensive pair of sunglasses.

The Attorney General and various other high-level law-enforcement representatives: “We are independent of the executive branch, of course, and would never, except under the most unlikely of—“ Trump: “It was me, I thought it was kind of fishy so I ordered them to do it, they work for me.”

If our team loses on a long last-minute field goal we didn't lose. If we lose by a touchdown, maybe we lost but maybe not. Probably not. If we lose by more than a TD, the game was rigged, because everyone said the game was going to be close. Sorry but those are the rules. (Not if we win, though.)

How does the most powerful person in the world always manage to sound like he didn’ t do the assigned reading and is faking the book report. Catcher in the Rye is about baseball, a very great American pastime, maybe *the* great American pastime, some people say.

Pretty sure it's the 19th Century (pre-1865), which he's been trying to bring back for 10 years.

FBI Director Kash Patel said a powerful lawmaker using their position to enrich themselves, using “her position of power and public trust to deflect and defend against her own criminal enterprise,” was “truly the epitome of hypocrisy for a public official.” Then he was struck by lightning.

But he bought that chainsaw at a local hardware store that’s owned by a hard-working man with a wife and 3 blonde children and *that’s* who you’re punishing with these taxes.

You start letting AI write stories and this is the kind of too-on-the-nose slop that gets created.

Unfortunately that’s the one vaccine they’ve taken.

Oof. When you’ve lost the NY Times headline writers, the end is near.

The most shocking accusation of this whole sadistic assholery is that it actually “violated ICE standards.”

If he reversed the order I’d be on board.

We keep re-asking the McCarthy hearing question “Have you no sense of decency, sir. At long last, have you no sense of decency?” but instead of feeling chastened, Vance, Miller (Stephen & Max), Hegseth, RFK Jr and the rest of that army of chittering banshees keep reaffirming “No, actually, I don’t.”

New IPO: dating app for coral (humans, probably including Tucker Carlson, will inevitably try to join as well). And maybe me.

Donald Trump disgusted with the idea that someone who was called to fight in a war weaseled out of that responsibility.

Asked and answered, NY Times.

Clarence Thomas justifies the photos of him in a huge Kohler jacuzzi on Hemsworth Kohler's private island by saying that Jacuzzi is a separate brand and therefore that wasn't a jacuzzi and therefore those despicable accusations are inaccurate and therefore those two weeks didn't affect his decision.

it would be very funny if the court that's not interested in the difference between a musket and an AR-15 went like ahh but air stills are totally new technology

We've done the same thing here, but less melodramatically--the US Supreme Court, Department of Education and Congress (=Parliament) have all burned themselves to the ground from the perspective of a functioning democracy.

I don’t know, Tom Homan, would you be willing to bet $50,000 in cash that she broke the law?

You try to gotcha me but I gotcha you.

Compromising national interests and betraying your allies for the best of all reasons: short-term political expediency.

This and the Guilfoyle imbroglio: Arguing over what it is that promising someone a bribe actually commits you to doing.

I was led to believe that if you "lose" a contest you're supposed to say you were cheated and that your opponent is garbage.

Art of the deal.

I am a doctor, and can answer your medical questions. Did I go to medical school? If I heard that question correctly: baseball. Have I "practiced" medicine? I mean, we all need to practice. And before you ask me if I'm actually a doctor, let me just take this call real quick. Yes I did say baseball.

Okay I give who are they going to livestream firing squad execute instead?

Somebody give Mike Waltz a heads-up on this--he'll need his go bag and a head start.

It’s like the executive washroom: not everybody merits that privilege.