Sam

Look at all those chickens.

My neighbor has sheep now.

I have taught my cat to bioluminesce.

The most concerning thing about the current economic shit show is that, contrary to prior ones where the people in power were (competently or not) trying to fix things, the current administration is actively creating and worsening the problem.

It is my dream to see a seagull master snake style king fu.

Walmart what the fuck? It is September.

Pog-based TTRPG!!! That is all.

Get stick bug’d.

Just got jumpscared by a goldarn hummingbird.

So Dolly Parton and Tim Curry are both dead, but they had ice wine at Aldi so I’ve got that going for me.

Doors are just walls with commitment issues.

Happy “There Will Come Soft Rains” Day to all who celebrate!

Covering myself in novels. Call it plot armor.

The great beast lounges, bathing in the glory of a successful hunt (she eated a bug).

New knife who this?

The thing about the slippery slope fallacy is that it isn’t always a fallacy. Sometimes the slope is actually slippery.

So, was anyone going to tell me there was a miniseries about a man-shark monster where Giancarlo Esposito plays a guy named Peniston? Was I meant to just find that out on my lonesome?

Brb, gotta go haunt the narrative real quick.

Anole time.

Getting kind of tired of Pride Month. When do we get Sloth Month? We could celebrate the sin and the animal at the same time!

This summer I shall delight in states of relaxation unimaginable to the hammockless peasants of the world. #hammocklife

Reading The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco. One of those books that is clearly just an excuse to info dump about the writer’s interests. Like we get it, man, you’re a medievalist. (good book tho)

✨✨pride fashion✨✨

Crazy to think this thing can take down a deer. #killdeer

Daisy is unsure about the neighbor’s puppy.

Currently enjoying a White Claw. My transformation into a basic bitch white boy is complete.

An under appreciated aspect of my and future generations’ inability to ever reasonably retire is that we will finally break the curse of dying tragically one week before retirement.

Welp, off to start my new life as a lighthouse keeper. Probably go mad, maybe start seeing strange visions in the sea mist, begin scrawling eldritch symbols on the walls then go mysteriously missing never to be heard from again. Yknow, normal light house stuff.

Him scream.

Niagara Falls’ beauty pales in comparison to the glory of CASINO.

I have imprisoned Canada’s strongest warriors. None can oppose me now.

Canada y’all been holding out on me.

Marriott’s new branding is unexpected but I dig it. “Riott” indeed.

This may be the best picture of a seagull on top of a restaurant sign I have ever taken.

The only visitor I ever get to my bird feeder is this same squirrel. One day those suction cups are going to give under the weight of his despicable greed.

At the grocery store getting jump scared by a cardboard standee of the Dos Equis guy.

Fancy lad. #pigeon

Long boy.

So what I’m getting from the Kash Patel email hack is that the man has never taken a good photo in his life.

Every Republican president in my lifetime has started a war in the Middle East. I’ll give Trump credit for this, though, he waited until his second term to do it.

Apropos of nothing, here’s my Jurassic Park hot take: book Hammond is better than movie Hammond. Sure, movie Hammond is tons more likable, but book Hammond works so much better in terms of plots and themes. Instead of “science playing god” it’s “capitalists are short sighted, cheap dipshits.”

Kind of getting tired of people saying every insane, despicable thing Trump does is just to distract from the Epstein Files. Do you think he wouldn’t be a fascist, hateful, war-mongering, narcissistic wannabe-dictator? All of this is in character for him.

Hate when people call animals lazy. Why are we applying Protestant work ethic to the wildlife?

Okay, how the hell did skirts become girl clothes and pants become boy clothes? If anything, the gear (and by gear I mean genitals) each (cis)gender is working with goes better with the other gender’s clothes.

“Money doesn’t buy happiness,” say rich folk as they do everything in their power to push their personal wealth even higher.

My pineapple plant is growing a little pineapple! This is not a drill, people!!!

The stupid dumb idiot corner for stupid dumb idiots.

In most cases the primary service your speech provides is the capture and retention of attention. Whatever speech is better at capturing and retaining attention is the speech that will be amplified regardless of truth, care, or consequence.

it's never the crazy weird conspiracy theory weapons. they are poisoning you with toxins they are well-documented to have. they are beating you with ordinary sticks and shooting you with ordinary guns the only conspiracy is how they gained legal immunity to do this