Sensei The Defender

Wake me when he didn’t.

Burning bush leaves from the backyard

One day I will wake up, and he will not, and that will be the happiest I have been since 2016.

If I were Ukraine special forces, I would load up my team and go put Elon in the lowest dungeon cell in the country.

Ben reminds you to vote Blue.

So is Senator Schmitt a dove... or a HAWK? Hahaha...

My cat is offline for maintenance.

One (of many!) things I can’t understand about the Orange Abomination is the need to amass MORE money, considering his advanced age and poor health. Is he saving for retirement, a big purchase - what?!?!

What percentage of cats know, and respond to, their name? Our kitten comes running and talking when we call his name.

According to Fox News, if you are a racist Young Republican you are still a "kid" when you are 34, but if you are an Epstein victim, you are an adult when you're 15.

Don't worry. When you wake up tomorrow, Charlie Kirk will still be dead, and we can start to forget him. You know how often you think of worthless Rush Limbaugh? It'll be like that.

Please send me a list of the people I am no longer allowed to criticize. Thank you.

I try to learn something every day. Unfortunately, what I learned yesterday is that a person can be more annoying dead than alive.

#cats Foster kittens having a nap after lunch.

Threatening HBCUs after a white guy shot Kirk, a racist white guy is just confirming that Kirk was racist.

Three true things: Charlie Kirk was a miserable failure as a human. He should not have been shot. The world is better without him in it.

Trump is in the Epstein files because he rode on the plane to the island as a fully-participating pedophile. He is desperate to cover it up.

BREAKING: Trump administration to ban homogenized milk!

Voting to avoid the government shutdown implies that you agree the administration is doing good things. This one isn't.

Just fill all our ICE positions with police officers like the ones in Uvalde and they won’t give us any trouble by entering schools.

The dead ferret on his head looks like it has mange.

Trump should have been sentenced to use his old name. Trumpf: the f is for felon.

The judge should have sentenced Trump to add the f back to his name. Trumpf, the f is for felon.

I used to say that Meghan Markle was a 3. But what I meant is that it takes a maximum of 3 episodes of Suits to develop a crush on her.

One reason so many of our nuts crack is the insane pressure from both hyper-capitalism and the right’s relentless assault on social safety nets.

Maybe Phony Stark will make more sense after I Goggle ketamine side effects.

Greenland, Panama and each Canadian province should all come with mostly-Democratic senators and representatives.

Remember to add a line: c/o Vice President Donnie Trump

My family and I are soon-to-be refugees - political and climate - from the American south to New England. Wish us luck!

Vice President Trump is a useful moron.

People are starting to call him Vice President Donald Trump. This will not sit well with him, and I therefore encourage everyone to do the same.

Deport Elmo.

Voter registration should be automatic for all eligible voters. Voting should be mandatory. Toss the GOP onto the trash heap of history.

I guess the next generation will be divided into children of woke liberals and children of Trumpers who died horrible deaths to preventable diseases?

Tax the rich. If they protest, eat one. Repeat.

I swear it isn’t cold in the house! #toyaussie

2024 will be our last Christmas living in the oppressive deep red south. It is nice to experience “last” events, like last car inspection, last Halloween, and especially last climate change SUMMER!

Live your life so that when you flee the country the populace doesn’t gleefully topple your statues.

Darwin, do your thing.

BIG NEWS. We're trying to move out of our Deep Red Deep South state to a blue/purple area, and we are under contract on a home in New England, with inspection tomorrow, hoping to close before January 20th (because reasons)!

What language could Biden include in a pardon that essentially means “No sensible person thinks they committed a crime, but here’s protection against frivolous prosecution, anyway.”?

Come to the dog side!

Biden should order FBI background checks on the incoming cabinet nominees. Stat.