shitmyctosays.com

It’s a good thing breathing is an autonomic response.

No you stupid pile of vectors!

Agents are just stupid humans without fatigue and degenerate reward functions

I may have to join bsky just for the shitposting.

Culture change starts with incentives.

At this point I'm going to need a malware worm to keep up with the malware worms.

Systems that require perfect humans rarely have good outcomes.

Any security control that is internal to the context is fiction, at best.

I’m a raging bucket of positivity

I am at my asymptote for terror.

Me: They have all of the building blocks, but none of the glue. Putting them together is a shitshow. CTO: Like putting a home depot sign on a forest.

Engineer: This is why we invented load balancers. Engineer: The royal "we". I wasn't there. CTO: I was..

Murphy was an optimist

Stability is not stasis

Safety is what happens when you don't pay attention. Security is what happens when somebody else pays attention.

Elevation is not escalation. Raise awareness in your leaders.

Culture change starts with incentives.

Admin note: Our CTO is on Bluesky! Old posts have been imported but timestamps were lost. "This is literally not what <thing> was designed for."

"Everybody wants to do the easy thing until production happens"

I need the jello to be set enough to stand a fork in it.

Murphy was an optimist.

Assuming something cannot happen is a great way to guarantee it WILL happen

We designed a malware sideloader and charged you billions.

Feed me, Seymour

CTO: You might be overthinking this. Me: Overthinking things? Have you met us? CTO: I have met you. That's why I made noises about overthinking.

Systems that require perfect humans rarely have good outcomes

This isn't the high-order bit you're looking for.

Making something simple is harder than making it complex. This is the gold standard.

This is a meta-stable death spiral.

This is the existential crisis of our times.