Simon Watkins

Me: There’s no food for the cat’s breakfast. Do we have any tucked away? Spouse: There some packets under the stairs, but they are part of our store in case of global crisis and civilisational collapse. Me: There is no food for the cat’s breakfast.

Robins are camouflaged.

When I was younger I used to see everything right wing as fascist or the thin end of a fascist wedge. Now I am much older and the political trends and policies I hated back then have come to fruition - I realise I was quite right.

Consulting Dr Google is never a good idea, but for me it just got even worse. Increasingly when I put in my symptoms it’s says the most likely cause is ‘ageing’.

‘OK I understood the thing about bringing mice and birds into the house. But you never said anything about squirrels. I think you’re making up these rules as you go along.’

So why did Mr T take that name? Because white people would often call black men ‘Boy’, and so this way they’d have to accord him the respect of being a man. Extraordinary interview by @shattenstone.bsky.social www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

‘By the way, I brought a mouse into the house and let it go. It’s hiding under the fridge. Night night. zzzz’

They disinvented the VCR. You might think that the reason we don't have VCRs anymore is because VCRs were supplanted by DVDs, PVRs and streaming, but that's not the case. They had it in for the VCR from the very start, and they never stopped trying to kill it. Eventually, they succeeded. 1/

I love ‘proper’ nougat. However…

Have you finished? Can I get on with draining the peas now?

OGTHROD AI'F GEB'L-EE'H YOG-SOTHOTH 'NGAH'NG AI'Y ZHRO

I commented earlier in someone’s else’s timeline about The Odyssey (film). At my own prompting therefore, I have spent the last hour reflecting on it. I am coming to the conclusion it might be a much greater film than my first viewing led me to believe. Need to watch it again.

I don’t watch much football, so when two players have a tussle I often find it hard to recognise who has commited the foul. I would like to thank Argentina for providing me with some clarity in this aspect of the sport.

Nolan: “This character is super smart. But he’s suffering from trauma. He can’t remember who he really is. He’s a lethal killing machine. Lots of people have suffered. He fears that all the pain is his own fault. Eventually he sails off into the sunset with the woman he loves. Who should we cast?”

I have left my wife and son at home, and have gone to local cinema on my own. I hope I make it back.

don't say we weren't warned www.ft.com/content/de29...

Ah, I am rembering now why I don’t really watch football.

I would to hear Freudian, Lacanian and Guatarrian analyses of this news story.

My brain was momentarily thrown here and it took me a moment to work out why. An excellent example of how the eye unconsciously bounces around the page finding connections of its own.

Just finished this. Stunning. One review (can’t remember where, sorry) described it as a novel of ‘epistemological collapse’. An excellent encapsulation. The last novel I read that achieved that effect with such an intensity was Dhalgren.

No notes.

New post: The Consequences of Tolerating the Far Right mainlymacro.blogspot.com/2026/06/the-... The rise in the far right is not a result of changes in people’s attitudes, but is due to the political elite eroding the social norms we used to have against racism and dehumanising minorities.

Defence spending shortfall? Why not squeeze the multibillion profits of UK defence firms or even nationalise them? If the answer is: “the UK cannot defend itself against Russian tyranny, but it’s more important not to upset defence firms” then don’t we need to question the terms of this debate?

Scaffold built in Washington - world tunes in to watch removal of Donald J Trump. Recyclable headline?

Will Farage, Musk etc be condemning white people in general for the actions of this violent white person, and advocating rage or violence in response? Will the BBC be laundering their 'legitimate concerns' about those white folks?

The key to a good Sunday roast is timing. And I can confirm that declaring beer o’clock at 11am, can result in an inferior meal.

We’ve had one of these since the 1990s (when they were briefly fashionable). Our model only goes up to 27C.

Once again, I have spent the hottest day of the year standing over hot coals, burning meat.

My go to track for days like today in UK:

Nothing to complain about at all? Nil issue.

Rocket has been looking at the spring menu.

If you ever leave food or drink in a room and walk away, the cat will have licked it by the time you get back. They have done this with a mouth that recently ate raw mouse. Don’t stress about this. Just accept it and move on.

Please tell me this is not serious. OK… I’ll give it a go: I wandered lonely in the cloud Whose data centres climate kills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host of witless online shills.

EXCLUSIVE - The Papua New Guinea Courier's view on today's Welsh, Scottish and local elections. More in my Substack: open.substack.com/pub/mrhenrym...

Asking ‘what about?’ is a basic question of scientific and moral inquiry. It the question that helps us identify flawed logic and hypocrisy.

One of my local kebab shops offers a sophisticatedly teasing option.

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, DC, Marvel, Disney, Pixar, Spielberg, Cameron, Wachowskis, or Ghibli.

We keep telling the cat that if he doesn’t stop being so grumpy, we are going to get some kittens. But he would kill them. And we would probably forgive him.

Ah. A good old-fashioned afternoon of family viewing.

I dont want to alarm anyone unnecessarily, but about an hour ago I saw Nigel Farage crossing Tower Bridge on a tank.

Some say that if there’s an anti-democratic criminal regime that sponsors terrorism in other countries and which is opposed by much of its own population, one should bomb that country hoping the people take over. This is utterly wrong and I will always be opposed to missile strikes on Washington.

Labour MP Clive Lewis doesn’t hold back on the Gorton and Denton result in this interview with ITV