Slopsy

BRUHHHH WTF I bought these cheap CDRs to burn Playlists onto and the first 3 just have Schlagermusik on them

drinking the srarach' bottle to completion in one gulp just to feel something

they're called "billionaires" because they have so many dolla bills y'all

zonked outta my gourd on pingers mate

a group of cigarettes is called a pack! follow for more nature facts :)

THE MCRIB IS BACK!!!!

god i'm so fucking glad that i don't understand what the fuck people are talking about half of the time.

want a million dollar idea? here's a freebie: smellfies, selfies you can smell. you're welcome.

do i order the 50-pack of skateboard roller bearings because i *might* use them in some project in the future? yea fuck it

>what's more virgin than a computer? the person sitting in front of it! goteeem

my pronouns are fun/profit

they should put me in a blender and pour the pulp into a mold resembling a happy person.

all former neglected children should watch The Fast And The Furious Clockwork Orange style so they can finally learn about what "Family" really is all about. Anyways, that's what i'll be doing for the next 24-36 hours.

what a shame that jeffrey epstein isn't around anymore to fly the lolita express into president donald j trump international airport.

feels like a huge loss for the journalism industry that nobody has dropped acid at the great american state fair and blogged about it yet

football? no thanks, i'm not into feet.

someone should really get the paperwork started on legalising fraud for everybody, not just giga- to tera-rich people.

pretty sure i spent entirely too much time during my formative years thinking about the movie WALL \cdot E. what was up with that?

now that his net worth has eclipsed the budget of the pentagon we must ask: will elon musk do the right thing and give israel its fair share?

they should invent a type of hot dog stand that's right in front of my door

chat, what does it say about the content of your character and the purity of your heart when the mirror loves you but the camera is plotting your downfall?

NuTrek 2009 but after Nero destroys Vulcan the song Journey of the Sorcerer by The Eagles starts playing and instead of the rest of the NuTrek movie we get to follow the adventures of vulcan Arthur Dent and vulcan Ford Prefect as they hitchhike across the galaxy in search of vulcan Zooey Deschanel.

NO, i was NOT born in "the 19-hundreds" i am a child of THE TWENTIETH CENTURY!

LOUDLY CLEARS THROAT *AHEM* can the people in charge of "the money", especially whoever is in responsible for the SpaceX IPO, PLEASE just graduate to using SI-Prefixes for large numbers already? I'm really tired of getting the german and english billion/trillion confused in polite company. tysm!

dumber-than-bricks schizo conspiracy theorist that takes apart his alexa because he's convinced the feds bugged it but puts it right back together after finding nothing "out of the ordinary"

doing exposure therapy by exposing my own eyeballs to my own face (looking in the mirror)

i don't care if you use windows in the privacy of your own computer room, just don't do it in front of me or my children.

i wish hot tea would hit the same way a cigarette does...

jeffrey appstein

Sy Ableman?!

why does sam altman look ai generated?

yea i was born in the 1900's

Staying in motion is so fucking good holy shit never rest

what is funnier to use as an everyday water bottle? empty vodka bottle or empty vegetable oil bottle?

why does a foreign shower always feel better in terms of heat/water pressure than the shower at home, no matter the objective quality of the shower?

chat, is it good when literally every conversation with another person about either persons childhood reveals to me that i was severely neglected?

you farm aura at the gym. i farm potatoes on my balcony. we are not the same.

peeling potatoes in the dead of night like a crackhead

if you don't wake up on at least one sunday morning of the week wondering what the fuck the stains on your clothes are, what are you even doing with you life?

she george on my michael 'till i wham!

repeatedly yoinking the power cord out of a 30k scope was in fact NOT good for it

say what you will about jeffrey epstein but i bet his gmail drafts folder was CLEAN

really having a tony soprano gabagool moment in front of my fridge

I'd do well in trench warfare