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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Tech working, bbq eating, whiskey drinking, bike riding, tory hating, partying Rodney-style, mid-life crisis having, person.

511 followers429 following3.3K posts

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

I couldn’t do the cabin crew thing. I would not be as polite as these guys. The amount of people on this plane who’ve apparently never flown before and are leaving small bags in the overhead lockers is nuts. It’s a tiny regional jet, people. Put it the fuck under your seat so we can get out of here.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Argh! British Airways, WTF? Surely if it’s a vegetable chilli then by definition it’s chilli *sin* carne… Otherwise it’s just vegetable chilli with meat and that doesn’t make any sense.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

There are few things more terrifying in life than running the dishwasher for the first time in a new apartment and discovering it’s one of those models that loudly, automatically opens its door when the cycle finishes…

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Queue 200 people long to vote at 9:30pm, clearly we all had the genius idea to come late and “avoid the rush…” Surprised by the turnout as it’s ‘only’ the local elections, reassuring to see numbers turning out.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Slightly disconcerting when you look out of the plane window to see what kinda resembles a mushroom cloud… Apparently this is the Buckeye wildfire in AZ.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Favourite ever social interaction with an American. Sat next to me after bartender at the other end pissed her off. Declared herself moderate then shat over every democratic politician mentioned. Admitted to watching Fox News. Snowflaked, called me & Obama racist, got upset & stormed off. Classic.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

The breaking point was when I suggested her family, who landed in the USA in 1913, were also immigrants and she was doing the same racism they’re experienced by saying all illegals were criminals finally broke her brain & she threw a tantrum. Genuinely surprised I didn’t get a drink thrown over me.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

This American Airlines crew are getting us fucked up. Some kind of catering mix up, so everyone is getting two of every drink and they’re out of milk for coffee so an hour before landing they’re just passing out Baileys to use as creamer for coffee. Not mad about it.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Just been yelled at on another social media platform that renewables make everything more expensive. While I’m sitting here charging batteries & running towels in the dryer because prices are negative & I’m getting paid 3.93p per kWh to use energy because there’s too much of it around right now…

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Nothing says, 'go the fuck to bed' like realising it's 1:30am and you're sitting there browsing alcohol online trying to decide if it's a good idea to drop £110 soon a bottle of small batch Oaxaca Mezcal.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Fuck! 6 weeks after moving I solved the mystery of the cold spot in the underfloor heating… Twat who lived here hung a giant mirror (which they left behind) & destroyed an entire thermostat behind it. Thankfully after replacing all the others I had old ones spare, we have heat! Warm feet! 🦶

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

What in the media manufactured psychodrama is going on in the news? Are they all just addicted to the chaos of the past decade and expect that’s how things work now in perpetuity? Baffling.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Bought a house. I’m now that DIY guy. Previous owner changed the bathrooms but left massive holes in the drywall that were venting outside air - patched them up this week and immediately using 15kw per day less energy for heating.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Weird thing about living in an ever changing city - sometimes something changes & you miss it happening, then don’t experience it for years later, but when you do it just works and was like it was always there as it is now. Case in point 2 weeks ago was London Bridge station.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

I hope the 18 year old of today has somewhere as grotty, decrepit & awesome to hang out a those dirty arches & the gentrification hasn’t ruined their formative experiences. May they find somewhere for sweat to drip off the ceiling & to get seven shades of fucked up in the city as we did back then.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Weird thing about living in an ever changing city - sometimes something changes & you miss it happening, then don’t experience it for years later, but when you do it just works and was like it was always there as it is now. Case in point 2 weeks ago was London Bridge station.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Considering how many weekends I spent in the arches under these railway lines off my nut, it’s strange to have not been back here for the best part of a decade and 90% of it having been erased as it existed. But its current version is way more useful to me today than before.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Weird thing about living in an ever changing city - sometimes something changes & you miss it happening, then don’t experience it for years later, but when you do it just works and was like it was always there as it is now. Case in point 2 weeks ago was London Bridge station.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Had flashbacks to the vanished escalators up form the colonnade - themselves quite new compared to the decrepit version I first remember now replaced by little more than a shopping mall, then out in to the vast concourse, through ticket gates and up an escalator to the new platforms.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Weird thing about living in an ever changing city - sometimes something changes & you miss it happening, then don’t experience it for years later, but when you do it just works and was like it was always there as it is now. Case in point 2 weeks ago was London Bridge station.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Very aware walking through it was different and part of it was a club I got far too fucked up in a couple decades ago - part of me felt disappointment at the loss of the dirty dingy club that gave me so much joy, most of me was happy to just catch my train to the airport on time.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

I’m will never tire of people being confused that I’m from the UK. Tonight I’ve had an American think I was Australian, a Filipino think I was American and a Brazilian ask me if I was Portuguese?!?!? Unlocking whole new levels of mid-Atlantic over here.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Alright room service and the rooftop bar both get a 10/10 so far. Like I used to be weirdly scared of ordering room service - mostly because of the prices, but holy shit getting a steak delivered to your bed? This shot makes me I understand why celebrities lived and died in hotels back in the day.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Decided not to fly home this weekend because I’m away again next week anyway. Expectation: Exploring cool bars and roaming the city… Reality: Bed rot and room service. Honestly not mad about it. I needed this.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Am I the the only weirdo who immediately forgets which hotel room I’m in & just remembers by its location on whatever floor I’m on? Bartender asked if I wanted to charge to my room & I’m like my guy, if I could remember what that was, sure. Took 3 guesses for us to find it. Been here 3 days…

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Filled bottle with carbonated water, popped it in the side pocket of my bag, went to grab suitcase, came back to a catastrophic failure of the bottle, a soaked backpack and laptop. Happy Monday, y’all. 🤦🏽‍♂️

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Oh great, it's spider season again. On the plus side, I didn't know I could still move that fast in my old age. That big bastard scuttling across the floor was like a shot of adrenaline that's gonna keep me up half the night now...

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

London property prices tumbling at highest sustained rate since Covid. 2 bed flats in Zone 2 ~£125k off peak down to £500k mark, adjusted for inflation that’s zero real terms price growth since 2009. If you bought at the 2014 peak you’d have ‘lost’ ~£200k in real terms. And they’re still falling. 👀

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

October ‘24: “I should probably lose a bit of weight, maybe eat healthier and exercise a bit, nothing too extreme” March ‘25: “Yes I should definitely buy that 1.5kg tub of ‘Unicorn Piss’ flavoured protein powder, its essential for my macros”

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Remembering that time I offered to help a new neighbour put up a gazebo, then declined her offer to return the favour by coming to cleanse my house with sage or some shit. Which then turned in to her telling me she wasn’t coming on to me every time we bumped in to each other until she moved out.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

She also organised a Christmas collection for the security team that year, then some time in January one of the neighbours discovered she hadn’t given it to them before she moved out and BIG DRAMA ensued on the Facebook group.

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Boy is my jet lagged ass regretting scheduling an all day meeting a 2.5hr drive away this morning, after only arriving back home from the west coast USA on Saturday afternoon. 😭

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

Why is San Francisco still dead? I figured it’d be back by now after Covid but it’s still empty. Why is the Tonga room closed half the week? Where is everyone?

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@slothpotatomash.bsky.social

If you see this, reskeet with the top 2 places you absolutely fucking hate with a passion: 1) Heathrow Terminal 4 - 5th circle of hell, the one with the shit restaurants. 2) Barking & Dagenham - all of it, frankly I’d welcome a Russian nuke if it lands here.

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