smugdingus

I’m never gonna forgive the Rays for denying me a good series after I was so looking forward to it. Fuck em forever.

This series…she’s over.

Hot fuck what a catch

Too bad the Rays don’t have any fans. Gotta suck.

Happy baseball is back to cleanse my sports palette of the thick layer of dried diarrhea left behind by yesterday’s football embarrassments.🙏

Pat’s gonna need at least 70 yards rushing the rest of the way to have a chance to win this game.

Mahomes got in there and bit somebody’s dick. Still my qb.

It’s hard to do offense when the defense is competent.

Chiefers getting dominated in basically every facet of the game, including uniforms. Sad, really.

I may turn this off on the real

All those refs that conspired to hand the Chiefs 5 straight victories are the ones that should really feel embarrassed right now.

It’s 2026 not 1996. You can’t just leave a 58 yarder, 10 yards short.

Lol this game is extremely over

Now…the chiefs are back

3rd and goal from the 7? Rush two. Wanna see it happen more often tbh.

Collinsworth rockin that open casket funeral makeup tonight. Jesus Christ. At least slap some rouge on that corpse. It’s primetime television.

Dan Campbell can’t not be a moron.

I've said it every year of their existence and I'll say it again...RIP Texans. H-tine folded dine.

Lol no chance. Never was.

It’s all up to you, Johnny D’Lukes. Become a hero.

He’s off the bag

That’s why you don’t mind walking Caminero. Hicks is slow as shit and you could feel that coming.

👀

Give it up, Jennifer Garner.

2 runs with 6 outs left is insurmountable.

I'd be happy with either team winning this series, but my deep, smoldering, irrational hatred for Christian Yelich might be enough to lean me towards rooting for the Rays. Been despising that guy for over a decade at this point. I just look at him step to the plate and frown. Fuckin dork ass bitch.

“Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to vote… as it is my designated polling place.”

I don’t care if your assistance literally saves my life. I’m not “stickin around” to complete a brief survey about our chat, and when you mention it before hanging up, I’m going to smile about how adorable and pointless it was for you to suggest that I might.

Lol feel like there’s a strong possibility that Josh Simmons will never play another game ever.

Ok…this might be a fun fuckin year. Let’s go. 😍 #ripcity #alltheguards

NBA season has kicked off so I’ll be back on my Portland Trailblazers bullshit again. Mute and unfollow accordingly, losers. #ripcity

Oof this show. More like Below AVERAGE nawmsayin?

It’s gonna be fun to have a World Series where I genuinely like both teams a great deal.

This is gonna be a fucking great World Serious baby.

I hurt myself today (stubbed my toe on a piece of large machinery) To see if I still feel (I don’t anymore, died on impact)

Whenever it storms outside and I hear the thunder roll, it always makes me think of my favorite Garth Brooks song, "The Devil Went Down to Georgia."

Alright time to inject some more postseason baseball directly into my inviting asshole.

Brew Crew grinding one out like me on the toilet after too much steak and cheese. Keep goin fellas. Yall got this. Do it for America. We need a change.

So is the Geico gecko’s name actually Gecko? I don’t really care. I’m just test ballooning to see if this might be a good conversation starter in future social situations.

One thing I’ll say about Smoltz is the man sure does say words.

This kid ain’t foolin anybody and his slider is nonexistent. Dodgers hitters are so fuckin good too. It’s gross.

Arguably the two best pitchers on the planet right now are facing off to start an NLCS. I may die of an exploded baseball boner tonight. Keep ya posted.

I don’t need to watch this CBS primetime comedy about a wacky family of vampires. The ads for it tell me all I need to know. Now with that being said, and before I say anything else about this program, please understand, before now, I’ve never been a proponent of barbaric terrorist beheadings.

The Commanders shouldn't have a head coach tomorrow. I've never seen something like that actually happen.

A lot of people say the greatest threat to humanity's survival is climate change or disease or even nuclear war. I dunno. Maybe they're right and perhaps I'm just a traditionalist, but to me, if we're talkin about the most inescapable threat to the survival of our species, I'd say it's still death.

White Sox drizzlin shit down their legs. Yikes.

This is a good baseball game.