chrry june 🍒

ibuprofen, you're the love of my life

the smell of freshly cut wood makes me feel warm inside ✨️

that's it, i got another AI email.. you can no longer reach me via email FUCK AI

baddies need bathroom breaks too

if i get another email about AI i'm going to go back to physical mail

scrolling on bsky .com like it's the morning newspaper

bring back yearning

attention, your "critical thinking" subscription has ended.. pay $9.99 to continue OR ignore to keep being a man

don't worry, i'll tr(eat) you like a cold watermelon on a hot summer day

cracking me and jokes at the same time

i was being mean to you, why do you like me even more now?

stop that you're scaring me

the light in our work restroom doesn't work so i'm just sitting in the dark

i have a pepper tattoo that wasn't done right so now it looks like the stem is broken

and just like that it all makes sense now

robbing the bank that holds your heart i'm taking it for ransom

do ya'll think the fbi cringes at our bsky posts?

maybe when you wake up tomorrow i'll be a better person

lazy saturday 😴

every woman could hunt me down, crucify me and i'd still find a way to blame a man

remembering the time my best friend in high school worked half a shift at ihop and immediately quit because he underestimated waiting tables

my friday is ruined because i have to work tomorrow :(

finally joined the team and made my profile spooooky!

tbh i'd let botw link do despicable things to me..

you look like you lick batteries

i was upset when i found out that the barenaked ladies were in fact fully clothed men

can't wait to go home and get naked tbh

i'm like a niche song you run into and end up loving

last night someone lit something so loud i started floating towards it like a pie on a windowsill

julie i love you, please stop leaving me

indoctrinating your pets into your religion is a different level of religious psychosis

this is the type of boots on the ground journalism i'm looking for tbh

this weather makes me want to watch twilight for the 2,654th time

i get so gay off that mac & cheese

call me out if i'm wrong but isn't it crazy that my job just wants me to work once i clock in?

top 5 things that give me the ick 1. men 2. the thoughts men have 3. the things men say 4. the way men behave 5. people that gatekeep because they think they're better than you and sharing makes them lose value