David S Peter Pumpkins Davis

David S Peter Pumpkins Davis

@speterdavis.com

Columnist at large, former Cracked staff from its golden age. Now at speterdavis.substack.com and https://plato-was-a-dick.ghost.io/. Too weird to live, too rare to die.

1.5K followers1.1K following5.7K posts

Please inform the Speaker of the House that James Hamel, who swore into office under the fake name of "JD Vance," cannot legally serve as Vice President

Matt Novak@paleofuture.bsky.social

“Therefore, because she used a fake name to be sworn in, I assume she must IMMEDIATELY resign from Congress. Please inform the Speaker of the House of Representatives, James Michael Johnson, that the Dumocrat Party has just conceded her seat.”

One of the worst sins that James Talarico committed was one time he said something like "God is non-binary," which was offensive because it suggested God is something other than strictly male. But the people offended by this are the same who will tell you transgender can't be a thing because 1/2

Before AI existed I used to kind of like the fact that I overuse em-dashes in my writing--I always thought it was an endearing quirk of mine.

This is all disgusting. I've had people accuse me of using AI when I do shit like use an em-dash. I struggle to avoid yelling but HUNDREDS OF ARTICLES AND AT LEAST TWO BOOKS I WROTE have been scraped by OpenAI. I'm part of why your chatbots write the way they do. They're copying me.

Man who drone strikes fisherman and bombs elementary schools stands with regime that dismembers journalists with bone saws against “blatant disregard for innocent civilian life.”

Jordan H.@jordanehoser.bsky.social

Rubio confirms the American death.

Elon Musk? The Hitler salute guy?

e.w. niedermeyer@niedermeyer.online

just to emphasize what's happening here: BMW (a company that used slave labor under the Nazis) refused to provide an official vehicle to the ultra right-wing AfD party, which is now asking Elon Musk to provide a Tesla instead Tesla literally becoming the Nazi car brand

Everything is computer

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

Trump: "If you add Venezuela we'll have 58% of the fuel in the world. In order to save a glass of fuel like this *dumps a glass of water* it's ridiculous. They have computers all over the place, and the other thing is it didn't work well."

This is actually fine because the constitution says that congress shall make no law establishing an official religion but it doesn't say anything about the defense secretary doing it unilaterally

Aaron Rupar@atrupar.com

Hegseth: "Today, at my direction, I'm establishing the Office of Religious Affairs. It will report straight to the top -- a direct line to the secretary ... as Psalm 33:12 extolls us, blessed is the nation in which God is the Lord"

These people misrepresent their true motivations all the time. For all they complain about their tax dollars going to to the poor, when they see a propaganda ad demonizing the poor, they're upset because it's not misogynist or racist. It's not even the poor they really hate, it's just minorities.

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Bernie Sanders is going to start tweeting about Roko's Basilisk. 2026 is wild

Faine Greenwood@faineg.com

I regret to inform you all that Bernie Sanders is in fact taking meetings with noted rationalist wacko Eliezer Yudkowsky over what AI regulations should look like. x.com/SenSanders/s...

Streisand the fuck out of this thing

Mark Lemley@marklemley.bsky.social

Facebook really doesn't want you to see the new documentary exposing Elon Musk Neither do TikTok or Google or the eX social media site. Since they won't accept paid advertising, let's do some free advertising. Go see Musk in theaters October 9 www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/dig...

I'm fairly confident that this is being misreported, because Robert Eggers isn't that stupid? Most likely someone misinterpreted something, maybe even a joke.

DiscussingFilm@discussingfilm.net

Robert Eggers is set to direct a new film adaptation of ‘ROMEO AND JULIET’. The film will feature the actors speaking in Olde English. (Source: www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...)

Who do you think David Ellison will hire as editor in chief of CNN? My guess is Joe Rogan.

Well, *fuck*. California AG Rob Bonta just surrendered to the Trump-aligned billionaires who want to take over and destroy Warners, merging it with the chudded-out husk of Paramount, leaving these two corrupt assholes to control Warners, Paramount *and* Tiktok: www.reuters.com/legal/litiga...

I look at Twitter occasionally (it's necessary unfortunately for what I write about) but it's hard to describe for people who don't go there just how bad it is. The density of not just racism but misogyny and all other flavors of hate. "Cut down on the right wing slop" my fat ass. It's Gab now.

Rachel Gilmore@rachelgilmore.bsky.social

For the record, this was the justification she shared with me on Twitter. It doesn’t really make sense to me given how she worded things in the clip, but FYI:

Trump is finally going to put an end to ISIS terrorists pouring across the border from Virginia into DC

Bill Grueskin@bgrueskin.bsky.social

Trump’s newest brainstorm is to turn his arch, in the middle of Washington DC, into a deer stand so “Snipers” can hunt down the bad guys. A 9-year-old boy is running the country these days

Are you people still trying to run the economy on classic math after all the cool kids have already moved on to Math 2?

Which is to say, these companies are claiming that they are *so cool* that their profitability can only be measured using a novel, secret form of mathematics: futurism.com/future-socie...

This is exactly the kind of message I do not want to see while everyone is having a discourse about rogue AI going self aware and taking over the internet

P(aul) Frazee@pfrazee.com

We're aware of the outage and working on it. Seeing a bunch of other services down on downdetector

Boosting for coinage of the word "murderbinkie"

Catherynne M. Valente@catvalente.bsky.social

I’d like to point out that Trump’s refusal to regulate AI on any level sets up the next admin (if we get one) to have millions of addicts FURIOUS with Democrats for taking their binkie away/passing even minimal laws about the use of said murderbinkie. At which point the GOP will be swept back in.

Counterpoint: Silicon Valley is openly saying they're thinking about killing everyone

CalMatters@calmatters.org

Opinion | Democrats have lost Silicon Valley. Here's what it will take to win it back If Democrats want to become the party of the future again, they need to stop treating the people building the future like political enemies.

Worldcon coming to my town 2028 motherbitches lets go!!

Paul Riddell@kyloboomhauer.bsky.social

Welp, now I have motivation to get finances and writing in order within the next two years, so Sarah and I can make the trip. I swore I was going to see a shingleback lizard in the wild before I died, and I plan to follow through. locusmag.com/2026/09/worl...