sqquelch

What do you think of these as prescription driving glasses for my birthday?

Does anyone want to watch the Brewers versus the Rays in the US, let alone in the UK? #HBOMax

BBC news still telling us what the papers say is anochronistic and idiotic. You're the ones supposed to tell us the news, not give free publicity to some tax-dodging billionaire's warped perspective of it.

I don't know how to take B&W photos for #MCM

The @susiedentwords.bsky.social gag on tonight's "Mock The Week." She's a national treasure.

Driving back from the pub after the power cut dinner, there was a BMW with an illuminated grille that was driving so close up my arse that he set my rear parking sensors off. I was doing 25mph in a 30.

They lied. Power is back on.

Riots in France, Brexit fights here, shootings in America, storms ripping across the country, it couldn’t get any worse… oh ffs.

Some people are like slinkies. They serve no purpose but it's fun when you push them down the stairs.

Everything bagels with smoked salmon and cream cheese. And Asda pre-slice their bagels these days.

The wind is actually getting worse. Have had to fully close all the windows - I normally at least have them on the vent setting. The rain seems to be easing up though.

Is it me or has Motzi been on the Ozempic? Not sure if she has or not and it doesn't matter either way. But she looks bloody good. Delta might be struggling this week: Kai's got his nipples out.

That's an amber weather warning for wind in effect till 2300. A yellow weather warning for rain until 0000. So no, I don't want to hook up with someone off of Scruff. I'm not leaving my grey joggers, let alone the house.

I've got metal ones at home for the kids when they visit

Channeling my inner Claudia this afternoon with the chunky knitwear

BBC Saturday Kitchen is always absolute chaos when Niklas Ekstedt is on. It's great fun to watch.

Oh FFS. It's cold enough for a hoodie, but it's too warm for a hoodie. And I am not putting the heating on. Not before December.

I just met someone else who's birthday is Christmas Day

Do you have clothes that never leave the house? I've got pajama bottoms that NOBODY have ever seen

I'm totally saying all religions are a scam

Watching Saturday Kitchen Best Bites and they're talking about New Orleans. I went to Southern Decadence with my now ex daddy. But i had experiences. Like being funked on a bar balcony. Shame the daddy was a rapist. Hence being my ex. But it was an awesome weekend and the guys I met

Recent wank bank chefs from Saturday Kitchen and Best bites Donal Skehan and Olly Duboise I'm not even sorry about saying this

Fucking AI customer "service" between Friday 1800 and Monday 0900.

At my age it's wrong to lust after a 22 year old Canadian on Strictly

Prawn jalfrezi anyone?

I'm not saying insomnia is a bitch, but I just tried to change the TV channel with my mobile

In 2016 UK voters chose Brexit, but they didn’t vote to surrender the right of future generations to reconsider it. If the consequences have proved damaging, as they have, democracy demands the freedom to debate, vote again, & potentially change course. #Rejoin www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

I love/hate it when the media talk about a list of who's who. Is it WHO'S who? Or Who's WHO?

I'd banish Joe Lycett just for that fucking awful tracksuit #CelebrityTraitors

Got five points on an Only Connect question. Suck it bitches!

Wedding social media content creators? Just fuck right off. And when you get there, fuck off some more.

For some strange reason I've just got Kylie and Dua's version of Real Groove going round my head. Dune get me wrong, it's an absolute banger. But I'm making dinner and I have no idea why it chose this second to come into my brain...

@bbcnewsnight.bsky.social While I completely agree we need to save water, the greater priority is for the water companies to stop paying shareholder dividends and invest in fixing all the network leaks. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Absolutely delighted to have launched our new flight training programme today with Sir Richard Branson!

I'm not vegan so I don't shout it out to everyone, but I've had AN ACCIDENTAL VEGAN DAY! Alpro greek yoghurt with orange, blueberries and raspberries Moroccan chickpea soup and sourdough Salad, bake potato with vitalite spread and vegan cheese and pea-based protein burgers

@gerwyn.uk turned me on to this. And many other things, the filthy bastard. Including cuddles with a dominant ginger cub called Zebedee

Relationships aren't always plain sailing! 😂

The tangerine twatwaffle wine be happy. Shame. www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/ck...

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE! This a library, not a nursery or a mothers and toddlers group.